Application for A, DEATH NOTE: Another Note
[[okayed by other DN muns]]
The young man who stumbled into the sorting room is acutely awkward. Tall and gangly, he moved as if his joints were too loose, and he looked around with exaggerated, almost overstimulated curiosity. His eyes (what could be seen of them behind a shock of tangled hair) were wide and wild.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Cheese, yes, cheese. I've learned about all sorts of cheeses, of course. Which should go with certain wines, for example. I'm well-schooled in minutiae. But to choose a specific cheese as a favorite, in the absence of other details?"
A looked around nervously before giving a very shy smile.
"Mascarpone. On a croissant with Nutella." He'd only had that once. But he remembered it very, very well. Sometimes when he was unhappy (and he often, often was) he called up the memory of that treat. He didn't get treats often.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
A began to pace. "I see. A hypothetical. It's all a matter of opportunity, isn't it? I would imagine that Barney's costume is flammable. Perhaps treating it with an accelerant, and flicking a lit cigarette in his direction would make it look like an accident... for Carrottop, tampering with his exercise equipment might be the simplest way." He grinned widely, as if expecting a reward. When none was forthcoming, he moved on to the next question.
3. What time is it where you are?
"I don't... I mean... I'm not allowed a watch." A rubbed his wrist, looking around nervously. "There's no clock in my room. I'm not to know, never to know. Time is an artificial construct, man-made. I know what timepieces are, of course. I've seen them. I'm just not allowed one. Not one of my own."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"That's not for me. They told me and told me. 'Attachments are for lesser people, A. Keep your thoughts and focus pure.' So how could I harass someone?" What he didn't add was that he really wouldn't have the first idea how to set about doing such a thing. It was a gap in his education. A flaw. Oh, why was he so flawed? He'd never be perfect, never be him.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Aphotic. For then, naturally, anything inside it would be in the dark." In the dark, much like A.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"George, George, George. Saint George killed the dragon, didn't he? And dragonslayers get the maidens. That's an answer for you, and a neat one at that. Except for Fred. He's a loose end. Perhaps the dragon ate him, perhaps he was the first failed attempt." A knew all about being a first failed attempt.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
At that, A grew visibly agitated. "You're not working fast enough. Not hard enough. Not good enough. You can be good enough. You need to try harder. You don't want to be a disappointment, do you?"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
His eyes grew wilder and wider, his tone frantic. "I'm not useless! I'm not! I'm not! I'm trying, trying to be him, believe me, you have to believe me!"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I have an Exacto knife. I found it, kept it hidden. I could let you use it, I could, yes. But I'd need it back." His giggle at that showed a trace of the lunacy lurking just beneath his already-strained surface. "I need it, need it, you see."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____a_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____a______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____a______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______a_______"
The young man who stumbled into the sorting room is acutely awkward. Tall and gangly, he moved as if his joints were too loose, and he looked around with exaggerated, almost overstimulated curiosity. His eyes (what could be seen of them behind a shock of tangled hair) were wide and wild.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Cheese, yes, cheese. I've learned about all sorts of cheeses, of course. Which should go with certain wines, for example. I'm well-schooled in minutiae. But to choose a specific cheese as a favorite, in the absence of other details?"
A looked around nervously before giving a very shy smile.
"Mascarpone. On a croissant with Nutella." He'd only had that once. But he remembered it very, very well. Sometimes when he was unhappy (and he often, often was) he called up the memory of that treat. He didn't get treats often.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
A began to pace. "I see. A hypothetical. It's all a matter of opportunity, isn't it? I would imagine that Barney's costume is flammable. Perhaps treating it with an accelerant, and flicking a lit cigarette in his direction would make it look like an accident... for Carrottop, tampering with his exercise equipment might be the simplest way." He grinned widely, as if expecting a reward. When none was forthcoming, he moved on to the next question.
3. What time is it where you are?
"I don't... I mean... I'm not allowed a watch." A rubbed his wrist, looking around nervously. "There's no clock in my room. I'm not to know, never to know. Time is an artificial construct, man-made. I know what timepieces are, of course. I've seen them. I'm just not allowed one. Not one of my own."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"That's not for me. They told me and told me. 'Attachments are for lesser people, A. Keep your thoughts and focus pure.' So how could I harass someone?" What he didn't add was that he really wouldn't have the first idea how to set about doing such a thing. It was a gap in his education. A flaw. Oh, why was he so flawed? He'd never be perfect, never be him.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Aphotic. For then, naturally, anything inside it would be in the dark." In the dark, much like A.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"George, George, George. Saint George killed the dragon, didn't he? And dragonslayers get the maidens. That's an answer for you, and a neat one at that. Except for Fred. He's a loose end. Perhaps the dragon ate him, perhaps he was the first failed attempt." A knew all about being a first failed attempt.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
At that, A grew visibly agitated. "You're not working fast enough. Not hard enough. Not good enough. You can be good enough. You need to try harder. You don't want to be a disappointment, do you?"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
His eyes grew wilder and wider, his tone frantic. "I'm not useless! I'm not! I'm not! I'm trying, trying to be him, believe me, you have to believe me!"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I have an Exacto knife. I found it, kept it hidden. I could let you use it, I could, yes. But I'd need it back." His giggle at that showed a trace of the lunacy lurking just beneath his already-strained surface. "I need it, need it, you see."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____a_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____a______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____a______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______a_______"