Our Popcorning
It was a normal day at Sacred HeartHogwarts. I’d woken up to the smooth sounds of Colin Hay, gone through my newly instituted exfoliation regime -the Scottish air was absolute murder on the ol’ pores- and capped it all off with a delicious banana smoothie for breakfast.
But during my walk to the hospital wing, I couldn’t help but notice that something seemed...off. I decided to crank up Mr. Hay on my Ipod, while I pondered the situation.
---
Okay, what the -HELL- was going on? First, Professor Dax had been a no-show to Steph’s tutoring session. Stephanie understood that sometimes Jadzia got really caught up in her various experiments, but said experiments were usually done in the safety of the good alien’s office. Dax had once tried to explain it - something about the office being warded to prevent any nuclear holocaust or slip in the space/time continuum or blah blah blah. Steph hadn’t really been paying too much attention, as she suspected nothing in the rant would pop up on a test.
Anyway. Dax was a no-show, and that was not like her. Him. It. Whatever the right adjective was for a woman/slug hybrid.
Next, Fraser hadn’t shown up for their Monday afternoon lunch! He hadn’t left a note or anything. That was not the Benton Fraser that Stephanie knew, and she was getting just a bit worried. Best to track George down and then find Ray. Clearly, a search party was in order.
----
Ever since Metcalf had come to town, Ray and Fraser had worked out a system. A way of remaining in communicado, if you will. It involved charmed owls, a chicken (or ‘Buff Orpington’, as the Mountie and the teenager always felt the need to remind Ray), and a sound-proofing charm.
Ray’d sent the word to Fraser almost a day ago that they needed to talk, and so far, he'd heard bupkiss in return. This right here? This was a problem. This meant that Fraser was in some serious-
---
Trouble. Oh my gosh, was Kelly Kapoor ever in trouble. She’d recently run out of her favorite brand of lip gloss, and discovered that they didn’t sell it in the UK! Something about...stricter regulations on the chemical...something. It didn’t really matter why - all Kelly needed to know was that her lips no longer tasted like a Mango Coconut Paradise.
Kelly could put up with a lot of things, but she simply could not abide looking anything less than awesome. The scruffy look was totally fine for Jim and Pam, but Kelly worked in customer service! She couldn’t do her job right if she couldn’t present a professional, fruit-scented image.
The fact that Kelly’s job was done over the phone was absolutely no excuse. If she couldn’t go into work looking fab, then she wasn’t coming into work at all.
---
Okay. This was getting worse. Much worse. There was absolutely no George in sight. No George, no-
---
Still no Fraser. Now Ray was just getting downright antsy. There was one place he hadn’t checked. One place he didn’t wanna check. But his feet weren’t listening to his head, and before Ray knew it, he was outside the popcorn room, where someone was already standing.
Yikes. She did not look-
---
Happy. Happy was not a state Stephanie was in. What with almost everyone she loved being turned into shiny, golden kernels of abandonment.
The second she saw Fraser’s name, Stephanie knew that Ray would soon be along. So she waited for him. Heck, the guy was pretty much the only person left that she knew. As he charged down the hall, Steph shook her head slowly, taking away any need to read the plaque.
Ray nodded, crossing his arms, and looking like he wanted to hit something. Steph knew the feeling.
And then he did something she hadn’t seen coming.
He smiled.
“You know what, kid? Screw it. They don’t get to get rid of us that easily.”
Taking a few deep breaths, Ray charged into the popcorn room, calling out to Stephanie over his shoulder.
“So, you in or what?”
Stephanie hesitated, looking around the castle that had been her home for over a year. Then she looked at the plaque. The list of names - the list of people- that she’d grown to love.
And then, Stephanie Brown knew exactly where her home was.
----
Like I was saying, before I started wondering exactly what house Colin Hay would be sorted into (I’d finally reached the conclusion that he’d be a Gryffinpuffelsyltherclaw - you can’t keep all that talent in one tiny house), something at Hogwarts seemed off.
And as I passed the popcorn room on my way to work, I finally figured out why.
Doctor Cox. Carla. That...tiny British red headed lady who reminded me a little of Ron Howard. And even Doug! They were all gone!
All of them.
Which...which meant...
Oh my god.
“I’m the head of the hospital wing,” I said, in a dazed sort of awe. “I’m...I’m a wunderkind.”
Wait 'till I told Turk! I could totally pull some strings and make him my personal, chocolatey assistant! Oh, wow, this was-
...hey. What was the butter smell?
But during my walk to the hospital wing, I couldn’t help but notice that something seemed...off. I decided to crank up Mr. Hay on my Ipod, while I pondered the situation.
---
Okay, what the -HELL- was going on? First, Professor Dax had been a no-show to Steph’s tutoring session. Stephanie understood that sometimes Jadzia got really caught up in her various experiments, but said experiments were usually done in the safety of the good alien’s office. Dax had once tried to explain it - something about the office being warded to prevent any nuclear holocaust or slip in the space/time continuum or blah blah blah. Steph hadn’t really been paying too much attention, as she suspected nothing in the rant would pop up on a test.
Anyway. Dax was a no-show, and that was not like her. Him. It. Whatever the right adjective was for a woman/slug hybrid.
Next, Fraser hadn’t shown up for their Monday afternoon lunch! He hadn’t left a note or anything. That was not the Benton Fraser that Stephanie knew, and she was getting just a bit worried. Best to track George down and then find Ray. Clearly, a search party was in order.
----
Ever since Metcalf had come to town, Ray and Fraser had worked out a system. A way of remaining in communicado, if you will. It involved charmed owls, a chicken (or ‘Buff Orpington’, as the Mountie and the teenager always felt the need to remind Ray), and a sound-proofing charm.
Ray’d sent the word to Fraser almost a day ago that they needed to talk, and so far, he'd heard bupkiss in return. This right here? This was a problem. This meant that Fraser was in some serious-
---
Trouble. Oh my gosh, was Kelly Kapoor ever in trouble. She’d recently run out of her favorite brand of lip gloss, and discovered that they didn’t sell it in the UK! Something about...stricter regulations on the chemical...something. It didn’t really matter why - all Kelly needed to know was that her lips no longer tasted like a Mango Coconut Paradise.
Kelly could put up with a lot of things, but she simply could not abide looking anything less than awesome. The scruffy look was totally fine for Jim and Pam, but Kelly worked in customer service! She couldn’t do her job right if she couldn’t present a professional, fruit-scented image.
The fact that Kelly’s job was done over the phone was absolutely no excuse. If she couldn’t go into work looking fab, then she wasn’t coming into work at all.
---
Okay. This was getting worse. Much worse. There was absolutely no George in sight. No George, no-
---
Still no Fraser. Now Ray was just getting downright antsy. There was one place he hadn’t checked. One place he didn’t wanna check. But his feet weren’t listening to his head, and before Ray knew it, he was outside the popcorn room, where someone was already standing.
Yikes. She did not look-
---
Happy. Happy was not a state Stephanie was in. What with almost everyone she loved being turned into shiny, golden kernels of abandonment.
The second she saw Fraser’s name, Stephanie knew that Ray would soon be along. So she waited for him. Heck, the guy was pretty much the only person left that she knew. As he charged down the hall, Steph shook her head slowly, taking away any need to read the plaque.
Ray nodded, crossing his arms, and looking like he wanted to hit something. Steph knew the feeling.
And then he did something she hadn’t seen coming.
He smiled.
“You know what, kid? Screw it. They don’t get to get rid of us that easily.”
Taking a few deep breaths, Ray charged into the popcorn room, calling out to Stephanie over his shoulder.
“So, you in or what?”
Stephanie hesitated, looking around the castle that had been her home for over a year. Then she looked at the plaque. The list of names - the list of people- that she’d grown to love.
And then, Stephanie Brown knew exactly where her home was.
----
Like I was saying, before I started wondering exactly what house Colin Hay would be sorted into (I’d finally reached the conclusion that he’d be a Gryffinpuffelsyltherclaw - you can’t keep all that talent in one tiny house), something at Hogwarts seemed off.
And as I passed the popcorn room on my way to work, I finally figured out why.
Doctor Cox. Carla. That...tiny British red headed lady who reminded me a little of Ron Howard. And even Doug! They were all gone!
All of them.
Which...which meant...
Oh my god.
“I’m the head of the hospital wing,” I said, in a dazed sort of awe. “I’m...I’m a wunderkind.”
Wait 'till I told Turk! I could totally pull some strings and make him my personal, chocolatey assistant! Oh, wow, this was-
...hey. What was the butter smell?