Actually, strike that: Cox was in a great mood, or at least he had been about an hour ago. See, that was when he was supposed to have had his Grand Unveiling as the new Head Nurse of the Hospital Wing. He'd been planning for days, going so far as to order up magical streamers and balloons, and had been up and bouncing since 6 AM waiting for his first shift to start...
...and then John Dorian didn't show up.
One hour, several bored-ass attendants and about a hundred owls later, Cox was on the hunt. And he had just found his prey.
"NEWBIE!" he barked, spotting JD at the end of the hall. He strode forth with all the fury of an angry god. "Just where in the hell have you been? I have all but emptied the Owlery looking for your pasty, scrawny ass and oh, dear God, what is that?" He stopped in his tracks, looking horrified. "Is that butter?"
He drew himself up, his voice somehow amplifying even further. "Are you trying to tell me that you blew off your shift to have kinky sex games with Captain Crazypants
( ... )
Okay, actually, Carla might have been trailing behind Cox, one eyebrow almost permanently raised at the enormity of the vein pulsating on his forehead, because she was slightly worried. This was Cox's big day and JD hadn't shown up, so either JD was dead, he'd actually found aliens and was even now being beamed aboard the mothership, or Cox was going to kill him.
Looked like the winner was door number three.
"Bambi," she sighed, giving him an utterly disappointed look. There was being JD and wandering the hallways playing...was that butter? But then there was a whole new level of flake out, and Carla honestly hadn't thought he was capable of that.
...Then again, he obviously had been spending the afternoon in a singles match of Butter War, so how surprised could she get?
"You know how cranky Dr. Cox gets if not everyone in the world is acknowledging his greatness at the same time."
Huh! So apparently Cox and Carla were both well aware of the hospital's stone, castle-like wing. With no visible electrical outlets of any kind. Or patients. Or medical equipment.
Well, they'd both been working here decades long than me, so I guess it made sense. Plus, Doctor Cox was looking angry and implying that Turk and I were a gay couple, which meant everything was normal.
...except for the fact that Doctor Cox had just given Turk an awesome nickname. That was not a girl's name.
Oh, god.
Was it...was it possible that they were Best Friends Forever behind my back?
~"I tell ya, Captain Crazypants," Perry said, laughing and pouring Turk a Daiquiri, while the two relaxed on a sandy-white tropical beach. "Having secret monthly weekend getaways was the best idea you've ever head. I can't remember the last time I've been so relaxed
( ... )
"What?" Cox snapped as JD once again seemed to snap out of some bizarre fantasy that he was entirely sure he did not want to know the details of. "And don't tell me," he added quickly. "I can only imagine what your twisted mind has come up with a~~~~nd my plan for the day didn't include having to fly back to the States just to have an emergency session with my shrink.
Hyanyway," he went on without so much as pausing for breath, hands on his hips. "I don't know what day you think it is, Newbie -- maybe you thought it was, I don't know, the first cotillion of the year and you just had to go out and find that perfect dress, or maybe you just thought it was like any other day and were sitting in doing your hair and makeup but the fact of the matter is that you damn sure should have known better, in fact I cannot remember the last time I was--"
Wait.
"Did you say Turk? As in... bald black annoying surgeon guy?" He exchanged a suddenly anxious glance with Carla.
And hello, JD. Meet Maia. Maia is a demon who has a beef with Carla and might just have you as her next meal if you annoy her sufficiently.
'This isn't exactly a home,' Maia drawls from her carefully-planned perch (to look just cool enough), leaning on the wall. 'If it were, I'd be shrieking and running around trying to find someone to behead you.'
What? He's American. He might be stupid enough to believe her. Her eyes flicker up and down him, and she smirks. 'Aren't you sweet. All--buttery and slightly disoriented.'
"Actually, funny story," I said, crossing my arms and leaning against the wall, as was protocol for 'funny story' time. "About thirty percent of the homes featured in Better Homes and Gardens are not -are you ready for this?- actually homes. No one lives there!"
Crazy! My voice got a little higher pitched, due to the crazy hilarity of the Better Homes debacle.
...which the girl next to me who had just paid a compliment might not have found so funny.
Awesome.
"Not that I have a subscription," I said, saving face. Trying to lean against the wall more - so as to improve my James Dean look - I was reminded why it was important to take a shower immediately after Butter War. I lost my balance, falling flat on my butt.
If she had a cigarette, she would so be blowing the smoke in his face.
'Pity. If you did, I might actually have had something to talk to you about.' Maia smirks, injoking with herself. 'Yeah, cushions and cream upholstery are really my thing.' There was, after all, that time when they drove an entire family ought of their home (deaths, crimes, affairs--humans are so fragile) and then totally trashed the place. Maia's tone is, as ever, sarcastic.
'Also, that story wasn't funny,' she points out, looking down at him and sneering, glossy black hair flipped behind her.
Comments 19
Actually, strike that: Cox was in a great mood, or at least he had been about an hour ago. See, that was when he was supposed to have had his Grand Unveiling as the new Head Nurse of the Hospital Wing. He'd been planning for days, going so far as to order up magical streamers and balloons, and had been up and bouncing since 6 AM waiting for his first shift to start...
...and then John Dorian didn't show up.
One hour, several bored-ass attendants and about a hundred owls later, Cox was on the hunt. And he had just found his prey.
"NEWBIE!" he barked, spotting JD at the end of the hall. He strode forth with all the fury of an angry god. "Just where in the hell have you been? I have all but emptied the Owlery looking for your pasty, scrawny ass and oh, dear God, what is that?" He stopped in his tracks, looking horrified. "Is that butter?"
He drew himself up, his voice somehow amplifying even further. "Are you trying to tell me that you blew off your shift to have kinky sex games with Captain Crazypants ( ... )
Reply
Okay, actually, Carla might have been trailing behind Cox, one eyebrow almost permanently raised at the enormity of the vein pulsating on his forehead, because she was slightly worried. This was Cox's big day and JD hadn't shown up, so either JD was dead, he'd actually found aliens and was even now being beamed aboard the mothership, or Cox was going to kill him.
Looked like the winner was door number three.
"Bambi," she sighed, giving him an utterly disappointed look. There was being JD and wandering the hallways playing...was that butter? But then there was a whole new level of flake out, and Carla honestly hadn't thought he was capable of that.
...Then again, he obviously had been spending the afternoon in a singles match of Butter War, so how surprised could she get?
"You know how cranky Dr. Cox gets if not everyone in the world is acknowledging his greatness at the same time."
Reply
Well, they'd both been working here decades long than me, so I guess it made sense. Plus, Doctor Cox was looking angry and implying that Turk and I were a gay couple, which meant everything was normal.
...except for the fact that Doctor Cox had just given Turk an awesome nickname. That was not a girl's name.
Oh, god.
Was it...was it possible that they were Best Friends Forever behind my back?
~"I tell ya, Captain Crazypants," Perry said, laughing and pouring Turk a Daiquiri, while the two relaxed on a sandy-white tropical beach. "Having secret monthly weekend getaways was the best idea you've ever head. I can't remember the last time I've been so relaxed ( ... )
Reply
Hyanyway," he went on without so much as pausing for breath, hands on his hips. "I don't know what day you think it is, Newbie -- maybe you thought it was, I don't know, the first cotillion of the year and you just had to go out and find that perfect dress, or maybe you just thought it was like any other day and were sitting in doing your hair and makeup but the fact of the matter is that you damn sure should have known better, in fact I cannot remember the last time I was--"
Wait.
"Did you say Turk? As in... bald black annoying surgeon guy?" He exchanged a suddenly anxious glance with Carla.
Reply
'This isn't exactly a home,' Maia drawls from her carefully-planned perch (to look just cool enough), leaning on the wall. 'If it were, I'd be shrieking and running around trying to find someone to behead you.'
What? He's American. He might be stupid enough to believe her. Her eyes flicker up and down him, and she smirks. 'Aren't you sweet. All--buttery and slightly disoriented.'
Reply
Crazy! My voice got a little higher pitched, due to the crazy hilarity of the Better Homes debacle.
...which the girl next to me who had just paid a compliment might not have found so funny.
Awesome.
"Not that I have a subscription," I said, saving face. Trying to lean against the wall more - so as to improve my James Dean look - I was reminded why it was important to take a shower immediately after Butter War. I lost my balance, falling flat on my butt.
My toned butt, for the ladies at home!
Reply
'Pity. If you did, I might actually have had something to talk to you about.' Maia smirks, injoking with herself. 'Yeah, cushions and cream upholstery are really my thing.' There was, after all, that time when they drove an entire family ought of their home (deaths, crimes, affairs--humans are so fragile) and then totally trashed the place. Maia's tone is, as ever, sarcastic.
'Also, that story wasn't funny,' she points out, looking down at him and sneering, glossy black hair flipped behind her.
Reply
But this was one sarchasm that couldn't be crossed.
See what I did there? You see?
"Nah, I guess not." I shrugged, looking around the hall. "So...I should probably be getting back to work." Pause. "I'm a doctor."
Reply
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