Application for Mia Fey, Phoenix Wright / Gyakuten Saiban game series
((Mia is taken from after Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations, so beware of moderate spoilers. I'll label major spoilers in the comments if at all possible. Also: important clues are indicated by colored text in the game. I will keep this to a minimum.
Permission has been obtained from the other active PW muns. Can you say "workninja?" I knew that you could. Back for an hour or two. Forget status notes, Mia's been Sorted, but I'm going to still endeavor to finish threads here. Don't wait on me. XD))
Date: ??? Time: ???
Location: ???
A tall, attractive brunette in her late twenties suddenly appears in the Sorting Room. Initially, she is unsurprised to find herself there. But her brow furrows as she studies her unfamiliar surroundings and the lack of any familiar faces. She approaches the desk of applications with a sigh, expecting a panicked note from her little sister. "Maya, what have you gotten into now?"
The Dictaquill promptly jumps to life and takes down her question. Mia hesitates, then reads over the application thoughtfully, bemused but still not looking all that out-of-sorts. But when she looks down at herself, she starts in surprise; while she seems perfectly at home in the suit she's wearing, her current ensemble is not what she expected.
She can only think of a few explanations for this, all of which are completely insane:
1) Maya (or, heaven forbid, Pearl) has broken into some sort of old castle, dressed up like her and having changed her hair to match Mia's. While Maya has done some incredibly insane things, this seems a little too far-fetched even for her little sister. If this is the case, Phoenix has some serious explaining to do.
2) Redd White failed to kill her, and the events of the last three years were a head-injury-induced dream and after being knocked out someone dumped her in some old castle. (Yes, wishful thinking, but still.)
3) Somehow, she is no longer dead - well, the ability to breathe and the obvious pulse are evidence enough of that - and in her own body.
...The fact that the third option is the most plausible should indicate just how strange her current situation is.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The Dictaquill doesn't so much as twitch when Mia picks it up, preferring to write her answers herself. She considers the first question for a minute or two before putting quill to parchment.
I don't consider myself an aficionado of cheeses - you'd have to talk to my little sister about that. Specifically, cheeseburgers, but I think she's tried them with over a dozen types of cheese by now. But if I had to pick one, I've always been rather fond of Parmesan.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Neither. Simply being annoying and abrasive is not an executable offense. Although if either of them wanted me to represent them in court, I don't think I could do so in good conscience. Heaven forbid I would ever have to cross-examine either of them...
3. What time is it where you are?
Being deceased makes it difficult to tell, especially since whoever's channeling me isn't wearing a watch. She pauses, then adds, Assuming this is a channeling.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Mia rereads this question and bursts out laughing in spite of herself.
"Order of the... Phoenix?" Oh, dear. Perhaps for once it's Phoenix, not Maya, causing the mayhem. (As much as she loves her sister, she knows Maya well enough to know that Maya is the trouble-maker while Phoenix is the trouble-magnet.) Still chuckling and shaking her head, she writes:
I don't really know who these people are, to be honest. So I can't supply an informed answer to such an important question. I can make an educated guess from what I know about the subject - I doubt that Mr. Dumbledore would have sexual harassment as his top priority after returning from the dead.
Mia certainly wouldn't. Unless one of these Order members is named Diego Armando.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I would call it The Gallery. That's where all the customers would be; I would be the only one literally passing the bar.
What? A defense attorney, pass up a joke about the wrong kind of bar? At least it's not as blatant as it could have been.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Frowning, Mia taps the feathered end of the quill against her cheek. Really, these questions are frustrating. It's not the sheer randomness that troubles her so much as the lack of information.
Again, I can't supply an informed answer to this question. Why ask such personal (albeit silly) questions about certain people without any information about them?
She pauses as something tugs at the trailing end of her scarf. The house-elf standing there offers her a file folder. Stunned, Mia takes it. "...thank you?" The house-elf bows and disappears. Mia stares at the space the elf occupied for a second or two before turning to the file and flipping through it.
Profiles of Harry Potter, Fred Weasley and George Weasley added to the Court Record.
Fred and George are twin brothers? Oh, my. I would say that Harry should choose the one he loves. Identical twins are not necessarily identical where it counts the most just look at Dahlia and Iris.
If he's not doing it for love... well, he shouldn't marry either if he doesn't love them, obviously. That's not a good reason to choose one over the other and potentially drive a wedge between them. Sibling rivalry can be the most destructive kind; at its worst, it can tear entire families apart. I'm not talking about Romulus and Remus. I've seen this happen.
Mia blinks, coming back to reality, and brushes a lock of hair out of her face. Well. She didn't mean to go on at length about that. Deciding that scratching it all out again and starting over would be too messy, she adds:
Bottom line: Harry should choose to be with whoever he loves - and be honest enough to admit his feelings. You can never tell someone that you love them too many times. Life's too short.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Well, after that last question, some levity is definitely required.
...Your name is Phoenix Wright?
Mia smiles, remembering the state of Phoenix's desk. You may just need a more coherent filing strategy. Or a competent office manager. Unfortunately, if you can't delegate it, the best way to deal with paperwork is to actually fill it out. With a pen, not with a flamethrower. Believe me, I could understand the temptation sometimes.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Prove she isn't useless? To whom does she have to prove this, and with what? An almost completely empty Court Record? Mia fingers the magatama pendant around her neck for a moment, thinking.
I suppose it depends on what you consider useful, really. Before I left home to study law, I trained in the Kurain Channeling Technique for several years. I was in charge of my own criminal defense law firm at the age of 27 when I died. Some would say that counts for something. I've been called back since then to help my protege out of tight spots from time to time. I also know how to make an excellent cup of coffee. After being with Diego for so long I
Mia stops and cuts that train of thought off before it can go any further. Best to stick to information that's in the public domain for now.
I'm afraid the only evidence I can present is my attorney's badge, although it's three years out of date assuming it's mine and not a facsimile. I could make a better case for myself had I any more to present, but you'll have to take my word for it.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Mia raises an eyebrow at the word "bribe," but decides it's about as tongue-in-cheek as the rest of the application seems to be.
Setting aside the fact that I don't bribe people as a rule, I'm not equipped to bribe anyone at the moment. As I said, I don't have a watch on me, much less any money - but I could offer free legal advice. Or a good cup of coffee. It would probably help if I knew where this place was or what squib meant. If you need help with anything in particular, I'll see what I can do. ...Within reason, of course.
Does she have to add that last clause? Maybe, maybe not, but given how little she has to work with it's probably best to be careful.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Mia Fey
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Mia Fey
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Mia Fey
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Mia Fey
Permission has been obtained from the other active PW muns. Can you say "workninja?" I knew that you could. Back for an hour or two. Forget status notes, Mia's been Sorted, but I'm going to still endeavor to finish threads here. Don't wait on me. XD))
Date: ??? Time: ???
Location: ???
A tall, attractive brunette in her late twenties suddenly appears in the Sorting Room. Initially, she is unsurprised to find herself there. But her brow furrows as she studies her unfamiliar surroundings and the lack of any familiar faces. She approaches the desk of applications with a sigh, expecting a panicked note from her little sister. "Maya, what have you gotten into now?"
The Dictaquill promptly jumps to life and takes down her question. Mia hesitates, then reads over the application thoughtfully, bemused but still not looking all that out-of-sorts. But when she looks down at herself, she starts in surprise; while she seems perfectly at home in the suit she's wearing, her current ensemble is not what she expected.
She can only think of a few explanations for this, all of which are completely insane:
1) Maya (or, heaven forbid, Pearl) has broken into some sort of old castle, dressed up like her and having changed her hair to match Mia's. While Maya has done some incredibly insane things, this seems a little too far-fetched even for her little sister. If this is the case, Phoenix has some serious explaining to do.
2) Redd White failed to kill her, and the events of the last three years were a head-injury-induced dream and after being knocked out someone dumped her in some old castle. (Yes, wishful thinking, but still.)
3) Somehow, she is no longer dead - well, the ability to breathe and the obvious pulse are evidence enough of that - and in her own body.
...The fact that the third option is the most plausible should indicate just how strange her current situation is.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The Dictaquill doesn't so much as twitch when Mia picks it up, preferring to write her answers herself. She considers the first question for a minute or two before putting quill to parchment.
I don't consider myself an aficionado of cheeses - you'd have to talk to my little sister about that. Specifically, cheeseburgers, but I think she's tried them with over a dozen types of cheese by now. But if I had to pick one, I've always been rather fond of Parmesan.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Neither. Simply being annoying and abrasive is not an executable offense. Although if either of them wanted me to represent them in court, I don't think I could do so in good conscience. Heaven forbid I would ever have to cross-examine either of them...
3. What time is it where you are?
Being deceased makes it difficult to tell, especially since whoever's channeling me isn't wearing a watch. She pauses, then adds, Assuming this is a channeling.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Mia rereads this question and bursts out laughing in spite of herself.
"Order of the... Phoenix?" Oh, dear. Perhaps for once it's Phoenix, not Maya, causing the mayhem. (As much as she loves her sister, she knows Maya well enough to know that Maya is the trouble-maker while Phoenix is the trouble-magnet.) Still chuckling and shaking her head, she writes:
I don't really know who these people are, to be honest. So I can't supply an informed answer to such an important question. I can make an educated guess from what I know about the subject - I doubt that Mr. Dumbledore would have sexual harassment as his top priority after returning from the dead.
Mia certainly wouldn't. Unless one of these Order members is named Diego Armando.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I would call it The Gallery. That's where all the customers would be; I would be the only one literally passing the bar.
What? A defense attorney, pass up a joke about the wrong kind of bar? At least it's not as blatant as it could have been.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Frowning, Mia taps the feathered end of the quill against her cheek. Really, these questions are frustrating. It's not the sheer randomness that troubles her so much as the lack of information.
Again, I can't supply an informed answer to this question. Why ask such personal (albeit silly) questions about certain people without any information about them?
She pauses as something tugs at the trailing end of her scarf. The house-elf standing there offers her a file folder. Stunned, Mia takes it. "...thank you?" The house-elf bows and disappears. Mia stares at the space the elf occupied for a second or two before turning to the file and flipping through it.
Profiles of Harry Potter, Fred Weasley and George Weasley added to the Court Record.
Fred and George are twin brothers? Oh, my. I would say that Harry should choose the one he loves. Identical twins are not necessarily identical where it counts the most just look at Dahlia and Iris.
If he's not doing it for love... well, he shouldn't marry either if he doesn't love them, obviously. That's not a good reason to choose one over the other and potentially drive a wedge between them. Sibling rivalry can be the most destructive kind; at its worst, it can tear entire families apart. I'm not talking about Romulus and Remus. I've seen this happen.
Mia blinks, coming back to reality, and brushes a lock of hair out of her face. Well. She didn't mean to go on at length about that. Deciding that scratching it all out again and starting over would be too messy, she adds:
Bottom line: Harry should choose to be with whoever he loves - and be honest enough to admit his feelings. You can never tell someone that you love them too many times. Life's too short.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Well, after that last question, some levity is definitely required.
...Your name is Phoenix Wright?
Mia smiles, remembering the state of Phoenix's desk. You may just need a more coherent filing strategy. Or a competent office manager. Unfortunately, if you can't delegate it, the best way to deal with paperwork is to actually fill it out. With a pen, not with a flamethrower. Believe me, I could understand the temptation sometimes.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Prove she isn't useless? To whom does she have to prove this, and with what? An almost completely empty Court Record? Mia fingers the magatama pendant around her neck for a moment, thinking.
I suppose it depends on what you consider useful, really. Before I left home to study law, I trained in the Kurain Channeling Technique for several years. I was in charge of my own criminal defense law firm at the age of 27 when I died. Some would say that counts for something. I've been called back since then to help my protege out of tight spots from time to time. I also know how to make an excellent cup of coffee. After being with Diego for so long I
Mia stops and cuts that train of thought off before it can go any further. Best to stick to information that's in the public domain for now.
I'm afraid the only evidence I can present is my attorney's badge, although it's three years out of date assuming it's mine and not a facsimile. I could make a better case for myself had I any more to present, but you'll have to take my word for it.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Mia raises an eyebrow at the word "bribe," but decides it's about as tongue-in-cheek as the rest of the application seems to be.
Setting aside the fact that I don't bribe people as a rule, I'm not equipped to bribe anyone at the moment. As I said, I don't have a watch on me, much less any money - but I could offer free legal advice. Or a good cup of coffee. It would probably help if I knew where this place was or what squib meant. If you need help with anything in particular, I'll see what I can do. ...Within reason, of course.
Does she have to add that last clause? Maybe, maybe not, but given how little she has to work with it's probably best to be careful.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Mia Fey
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Mia Fey
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Mia Fey
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Mia Fey