Application for Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist)
When Roy Mustang found himself in a small room with nothing but a desk and chair, and what appeared to be paperwork littered across the top of the desk, he didn't let it bother him too much. Perhaps he had taken a wrong turn somewhere, but he wasn't one to worry.
Stepping closer to the desk, Roy found a quill seemingly hovering over a piece of paper, and sighed to himself. Deciding it must be some strange form of alchemy, Roy passed it off and sat down behind the desk, grabbing up a pen as he looked down at the paper. It was some sort of application, and if filling it out would at least get him one step closer to finding out where he was, it couldn't hurt to fill it out.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? What kind of application was this? Perhaps he was taking some sort of survey. Roy cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest, watching the quill hover dutifully over the paper.
"Swiss, I suppose." He said to himself, and lifted an eyebrow as the quill took down his answer. Dropping the pen back on the desk, Roy sat back in the chair and watched the quill with renewed interest.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
His eyebrow traveled higher at the next question, and Roy looked around the room, as though he expected someone to be standing there to tell him this was all a very strange joke. "I suppose whichever of them deserved it more. There would have to be a damn good reason, though. I don't go around killing people for fun."
3. What time is it where you are?
Roy pulled a silver pocketwatch from his trouser pocket and flipped it open, then sighed. "It's nearly 10. I would assume at night, since there is no light outside." There was an audible snap as he closed the watch again, and it quickly disappeared back inside his pocket.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
At least this was one question that was easy. Barring the part about being returned from the dead, but that was another subject entirely. "I suppose whichever was the most beautiful," he said simply. "I am partial to blondes, though."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Hmph." Naming it after Hughes would be too blatant, and naming it after Hawkeye would be... problematic, if anyone ever asked his reason. That left him with one option. "'The Flame.'"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Roy cleared his throat and looked around again. If there was a time for someone to shout 'surprise, you've been tricked!', this was it. And yet, there was no shouting, and Roy was faced having to answer yet another strange question. "If such a thing is legal here, Harry should choose to marry whichever man makes him happy."
Of course, it wouldn't hurt to know what these people looked like, to help his decision, but there weren't exactly pictures clipped to the paper. And so Roy cleared his throat again and moved on to the next question, hoping that soon, there would be a question that wasn't preposterous.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"That's simple," Roy said, grinning to himself. "Put yourself in a position where you are the person giving the paperwork, and you'll have assistants to do any paperwork that may be required of you."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Roy's eyebrow twitched at that, but he quickly mastered his desire to yell- that was something Fullmetal would do, not a man of his age and station. "I am far from useless. On top of being a State Alchemist, I'm also a Brigadier General in the State Military of Amestris. And of course there is my obvious good looks and razor wit."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Bribery, is it? Not the most honorable place, is this? First questions about killing, and now this," Roy shook his head, though there was a ghost of a smile at the edge of his lips. "Well, I suppose if I must, for the application. I can offer lessons in alchemy, or if there are any young women finding themselves in need of a date, I would be more than happy to escort them."
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Mustang__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Mustang__
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Mustang__
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __Mustang__
Stepping closer to the desk, Roy found a quill seemingly hovering over a piece of paper, and sighed to himself. Deciding it must be some strange form of alchemy, Roy passed it off and sat down behind the desk, grabbing up a pen as he looked down at the paper. It was some sort of application, and if filling it out would at least get him one step closer to finding out where he was, it couldn't hurt to fill it out.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? What kind of application was this? Perhaps he was taking some sort of survey. Roy cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest, watching the quill hover dutifully over the paper.
"Swiss, I suppose." He said to himself, and lifted an eyebrow as the quill took down his answer. Dropping the pen back on the desk, Roy sat back in the chair and watched the quill with renewed interest.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
His eyebrow traveled higher at the next question, and Roy looked around the room, as though he expected someone to be standing there to tell him this was all a very strange joke. "I suppose whichever of them deserved it more. There would have to be a damn good reason, though. I don't go around killing people for fun."
3. What time is it where you are?
Roy pulled a silver pocketwatch from his trouser pocket and flipped it open, then sighed. "It's nearly 10. I would assume at night, since there is no light outside." There was an audible snap as he closed the watch again, and it quickly disappeared back inside his pocket.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
At least this was one question that was easy. Barring the part about being returned from the dead, but that was another subject entirely. "I suppose whichever was the most beautiful," he said simply. "I am partial to blondes, though."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Hmph." Naming it after Hughes would be too blatant, and naming it after Hawkeye would be... problematic, if anyone ever asked his reason. That left him with one option. "'The Flame.'"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Roy cleared his throat and looked around again. If there was a time for someone to shout 'surprise, you've been tricked!', this was it. And yet, there was no shouting, and Roy was faced having to answer yet another strange question. "If such a thing is legal here, Harry should choose to marry whichever man makes him happy."
Of course, it wouldn't hurt to know what these people looked like, to help his decision, but there weren't exactly pictures clipped to the paper. And so Roy cleared his throat again and moved on to the next question, hoping that soon, there would be a question that wasn't preposterous.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"That's simple," Roy said, grinning to himself. "Put yourself in a position where you are the person giving the paperwork, and you'll have assistants to do any paperwork that may be required of you."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Roy's eyebrow twitched at that, but he quickly mastered his desire to yell- that was something Fullmetal would do, not a man of his age and station. "I am far from useless. On top of being a State Alchemist, I'm also a Brigadier General in the State Military of Amestris. And of course there is my obvious good looks and razor wit."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Bribery, is it? Not the most honorable place, is this? First questions about killing, and now this," Roy shook his head, though there was a ghost of a smile at the edge of his lips. "Well, I suppose if I must, for the application. I can offer lessons in alchemy, or if there are any young women finding themselves in need of a date, I would be more than happy to escort them."
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Mustang__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Mustang__
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Mustang__
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __Mustang__