Application for Krampus

[ohnoitskrampus]

Krampus, Krampus the Movie

The grimy, goat-legged, goat-horned figure, stooped and swarthy, hobbled into the Sorting Room. “I know you're here, Boss!” he bellowed. “You can't hide forever!”

Comments

[endless_del]

Delirium, who had spent most of the day as a cloud of multicolored fish, managed to turn human-shaped long enough to read the application.

"What is your rod made out of?" she asked, blinking her mismatched eyes. A bee shot out of her hair to inspect Krampus closely.

[ohnoitskrampus]

Krampus wasn't so powerful as to be a god, really, but he'd certainly been around long enough to recognize her. He shuffled his hooved feet nervously. "It's just honest humble birchwood, miss. Just the thing for thrashing wicked young bottoms."

[endless_del]

Delirium smiled, a butterfly settling on her nose as she did so. "You called me 'miss'," she said, delighted. "Why do you thrash bottoms? Do they do something bad?"

[ohnoitskrampus]

"I only thrash the naughty ones, miss, The wicked little boys and girls. Seems like there's no end to them."

[endless_del]

"I like vegetables," she said thoughtfully. "Especially microwaves. After you thrash them, what do you do?"

[ohnoitskrampus]

"Well, once I thrash them, that's my job done, isn't it? Oh, I might leave a lump of coal."

[endless_del]

The bee circled Krampus, buzzing gently. ""You should give the naughty ones killer bees with their coal," she said decidedly.

[ohnoitskrampus]

"Bees," Krampus mused. His slot-pupilled eyes grew a bit misty at the thought. "Lovely vicious bees, with pointy pointy stingers..."