Mullet Man (Squibbait)
A guy with the most fabulous mullet has just appeared in the Sorting Room. He doesn't seem at all surprised to be there.
"People of Hogwarts!" he called out. "I come from the future."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"I invented cheese, you know," he said, paying no mind as the Dictaquill did what it did best and took dictation. "Yep, went back in time and taught cavemen how to make Monteray Jack."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Ha! Why kill them when you can go back in time and keep them ever being born? I actually did that, you know. Not sure how this question can still be here since they don't exist anymore..."
3. What time is it where you are?
"Whatever time I want it to be."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"All of them!" He flexed his probably nonexistant muscles. "Push it to the limit!"
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"I'd call it The Limit."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"This question makes me want to punch something!"
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Oh, this was an easy one. "Cause you haven't gone back in time and obliterated paperwork yet."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I can travel through time!"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I will take you back in time with me. You'll get paid when we come back. Bring your weapons. Safety not guaranteed.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. YTMND
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. YTMND.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. YTMND.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. YTMND"
"People of Hogwarts!" he called out. "I come from the future."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"I invented cheese, you know," he said, paying no mind as the Dictaquill did what it did best and took dictation. "Yep, went back in time and taught cavemen how to make Monteray Jack."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Ha! Why kill them when you can go back in time and keep them ever being born? I actually did that, you know. Not sure how this question can still be here since they don't exist anymore..."
3. What time is it where you are?
"Whatever time I want it to be."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"All of them!" He flexed his probably nonexistant muscles. "Push it to the limit!"
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"I'd call it The Limit."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"This question makes me want to punch something!"
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Oh, this was an easy one. "Cause you haven't gone back in time and obliterated paperwork yet."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I can travel through time!"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I will take you back in time with me. You'll get paid when we come back. Bring your weapons. Safety not guaranteed.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. YTMND
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. YTMND.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. YTMND.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. YTMND"