Multi-Sock and Open RP: The Gang's All Here! ... Minus One

[heymrcrowley]

((Backdated to the day before the annullments. This is the conclusion of this plot which you may or may not remember. I'm officially back now, yay!))

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[carlaespinosa]

How had she known?

No, seriously, did she have some kind of seventh-sense (the sixth, of course, being her womanly intuition) that told her when Cox was in range? Or maybe it really just was that sixth sense telling her that she and Stephen should walk back to the castle right at that moment.

They'd been out looking for plants to stock up the potions lab, and now they were walking slowly across the lawn in light conversation, smiling and laughing, Carla wearing rolled up jeans and a t-shirt that may or may not have belonged to Stephen, the picnic basket they had their plants in bumping between them.

Any smiles, though, faded when Carla caught sight of a familiar shock of red hair. "Él debe tener el par más grande del mundo de bolas," she hissed in disbelief, halfway torn between tackling the man to the ground and not letting him up until she was quite finished kissing him and kicking him in the shin.

Seriously. He'd been gone for a month. No word. No letters or owls or whatever the hell passed for communication around here. Nothing. Just leaving her to worry and wonder and assume the worst. He had to have shacked up with Jordan again. No other explanation. And now she'd kicked his sorry ass to the curb again and he was going to come crawling back, telling her that 'this time it's different!'"

Like hell.

A glower on her face that could rival Medusa's glare, Carla stalked up to Cox, trusting Stephen to follow.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Not that, you know, she cared.

[estebanmd]

Fluent in a number of Spanish dialects, from pure Castilian to the various flavors spoken in South America, Stephen had not taken long to acclimate to Carla's particular parlance, and knew exactly what she was saying -- not that there was any great doubt. Their platonic marriage had occasioned a great many companionable confidences. Stephen could have guessed Carla's reaction to the sudden reappearance of Cox without even having been present.

Naturally, the combination of fellow feeling for Carla and his perennial friendly animosity toward Cox easily determined Stephen's course of conduct here. Catching up with her readily, Stephen took her arm in a way that to Carla should communicate solidarity, and to those not privy to the platonic nature of their union might well appear a more tender sort of solicitude. "Indeed, Perry, where on God's earth have you been?" he echoed. "Sure we should have wished you to be present for our happiest of occasions, if owls or elves could find a trace of you."

[coxinsox]

Oh-hooooo boy. Normally, he liked to see Carla. Sometimes even loved to see Carla, a lot on occasion. But for the love of all that was pure in this world (football), this was so not the right time. He was mind-numbingly exhausted, had just spent a month with a couple of the most annoying people on the planet, and to top it all off he was going right back to work. The fact that that had been his own choice had absolutely nothing to do with this.

The point was, he was not in the mood to be confronted by Little Miss Nosy, especially not with the Doc in tow, and especially not looking as indignant as she did. He bristled angrily, his retort cut short by Stephen's addition. Cox raised a brow as Stephen took Carla's arm.

Happiest of occasions?

His brow creased. "Well, first of all, I've been trapped on an island for the last month with the Goonies back there." He jerked a thumb back towards the little group. "Thanks for the concern. Second of all, what in the hell is going on here?"

[carlaespinosa]

Ah. As Stephen took her arm Carla shot him a quick look, then one corner of her mouth curved up in understanding. Right.

Because if anyone deserved to be messed with, it was Perry Cox, he of the ex-wife shacking up with (which Carla had convinced herself was total fact) and the no calling for a freaking month.

"That is what you're coming up with?" she asked, eyebrows raised incredulously. "That's the story you're going to stick with, there? Trapped on a deserted island? Was there a three day tour involved? Tell me, Skipper," yeah, okay, maybe she was just a tad bit unreasonably mad, "did you get a chance to make the coconut phone? Because it sure would have been nice to get some kind of word."

Seriously? That was quite possibly the worst excuse ever.

Her mouth tightened in annoyance and Carla rested her hand lightly on Stephen's. "Oh. Right. I forgot you weren't here." That wasn't going to get dropped anytime soon. She looked up at Stephen. "Why don't you go ahead and tell him, babe?"

As if it was any of Cox's concern what she did while he was off doing whomever whatever he'd been doing for a month.

[estebanmd]

Stephen, who had endured various maroonings and shipwrecks, would very much have liked to hear about the flora and fauna on the island. The veracity of Cox's story he questioned not at all. However, he had a job to do here. With a sort of modest understated smile (inwardly immensely amused by the notion anyone should call him 'babe'), he said to Cox, "Why, you missed our wedding. Allow me to say again how deeply I regretted your inability to attend, when it is to you I owe my introduction to a woman so rare as this. To combine competence with beauty is no mean accomplishment. Carla had so desired your presence --" Lord, that at least was no lie -- "but of course we neither of us would begrudge your happiness."

And, outrageously, Stephen had the nerve to cast a significant look in the direction of Francis Abernathy, not far off.

"Like calls to like, it is said." Redheads? Totally gay guys? Who knew what Stephen might mean?

[coxinsox]

No. Seriously. How was this EVEN REMOTELY fair? Why did God suddenly have it out for him?

Other than that whole 'not believing in Him' thing and the 'occasionally blaspheming and cursing His name' thing. But, come on, there were plenty of people who still ought to be getting the shaft before him. Like Agnes Nutter. Or Michael Jackson. Or, as always, Hugh Jackman.

Anyway, Cox was pretty much flummoxed by this whole thing. First Carla yelling at him (with a Gilligan's Island reference no less -- low blow!) for getting stranded on a desert island, and now this horrible. They were kind of holding hands. And... and...

Married?

Just as Cox was trying to deal with all of this, with a look on his face somewhat akin to someone who'd just been whacked in the head with a brick, Stephen chose to dart his eyes towards Francis Abernathy. Cox followed his gaze. His eyes narrowed dangerously, his face darkening like a thundercloud. "Oh, Doc," he growled. "You had so better not be implying what I'm going to just assume, for the sake of both your health and mine, you were not just implying."

And without further adieu, he turned on Carla. "Married?" he echoed. "Doe~s Gandhi know?" He did realize, vaguely, that bringing up the boyfriend of the woman he wanted to date, in order to make her feel guilty about the man she was currently dating-or-whatever-he-was-not-accepting-'married' was probably not the best tactic. But he wouldn't be Perry Cox if he didn't go ahead and sabotage himself anyway.

[carlaespinosa]

Okay, and Carla just about lost it at that. Following Stephen's line of sight and then returning her eyes to Cox she bit back a huge, shit-eating grin. Cox's reaction was just priceless and she really would have started laughing, then, if not for his question.

Her own face darkened in response and she cocked a hip, head tilting to the side. "No," she said shortly. "Turk isn't here. Turk does not get to have any input in my life. You see, Dr. Cox, if people aren't around, then they don't get to say anything about how I choose to fill up my time." Eyes flashing, she added, "And how is Jordan doing these days?"

That's right, don't mess. If he wanted to throw down the gauntlet of past relationships, she was so ready to do so. Because when she decided something was over, she didn't moon around after it like some lovesick cow, panting for another chance and using every other potential relationship as a bed warmer.

[estebanmd]

Now wait just a minute here. Cox and Carla both seemed to have forgotten a very important fact, which was that Stephen was ostensibly married to Carla, and therefore Carla was answerable to no man of any stripe; rather, such men ought properly to be answerable to Stephen. This should hold regardless of the true state of affairs between Stephen and Carla. With every inch of a nineteenth-century gentleman's pride, Stephen tucked his wife into the protective curve of his arm, and informed Cox stiffly: "The Gandhis and Turks of the world have no say in Mrs Maturin's affairs, at all. They are entitled to no explanations. Should they seek to question her choices, they shall be called to account for their impertinence."

[coxinsox]

Cox was already looking pretty pissed off, but his expression darkened further at Carla's pointed and very nasty question. Not only was that a totally low blow (no lower than the one he'd dealt her, but that didn't mean it was okay), but the answer was not exactly something he'd enjoyed dwelling on during his month of seclusion. "Jordan," he said loudly, "is popcorn. SO I assume she's doing just fine, hy'if a little greasy. Nothing that a little Neutrogena won't fix, amirite?"

Now he was really incensed, and Stephen's little whatever the hell that was did not help. Cox hated it when he got all archaic. Cox hated Stephen a lot right now, actually.

Unfortunately, when Cox was angry, he tended to do really, really stupid things. Like, well... this.

"Gosh, Carla, I'm ever so happy for the two of you," he said, a meanspirited smirk passing across his face. "Although I have to admit, I am awfully surprised. I~ wouldn't have expected you to be the Doc's type." He folded his arms, looking entirely too smug given the fact that he was probably about to get the crap kicked out of him by a crazy man and a small Latina woman. "I mean, you are over 25 and all that. I kinda thought he lost interest once they hit the 'these are just smile lines--" he gestured to his own face, wide-eyed -- "stage."

[carlaespinosa]

See, now, what was that? Just as Carla's mouth had dropped at the news - Jordan was out of the picture, as well and truly as she could be - and as her brain tried to process what that meant, Cox had to go ram his gigantic stinky feet down his throat.

Thunder might have rumbled in the distance as Carla's entire body tensed up, her jaw tightening and eyes flashing with ire. "Oh, no," she muttered, rolling her head from side to side as if preparing for battle. "I know your droopy ass did not just call me old."

Stalking forward, looking for all the word as if she was just going to haul out and hit Cox, Carla stood toe to toe with him, breathing out a huge breath before launching in to him. "First of all, your pathetic attempts to cover just how insecure you are about your own desirability since you came back and found that I'd moved on are laughable, because this?" She gestured to her body. "Is fine. And you know it. Second, Stephen, amazingly enough, can actually look past physical appearance. Unlike some men I know who have a continual parade of big breasted bimbos in and out of their bedroom to mark time until their plastic action figure ex-wife comes down from whatever pool boy, Botox induced high and orders him to come running home like a whipped puppy."

Oh, and she so wasn't done yet. Poking him in the chest, Carla hissed, "And I believed you. You and your curly haired Irish ass, I believed you. So don't you dare stand there and judge me. You disappeared for a month and I felt like an idiot. So you can just go to hell, Dr. Cox."

Turning back around, she walked back to Stephen, visibly upset. "Adelantado, mi corazón. Vayamos a casa." She just wanted away. Stupid Cox.

[estebanmd]

Stephen knew better than to try stopping Carla from hitting Cox, if that was what she wanted to do. All things considered, Cox had gotten off lightly with a poke in the chest -- for now. While Stephen took no actual offense at Cox's implication about Stephen's own cradle-robbing ways -- ephebophilia hardly carried a stigma in the early nineteenth century, even had Stephen been guilty thereof -- the slight to Carla left him Decidedly Unamused.

Really, to cast aspersions upon a woman's complexion was bad, bad form.

" he told Carla, in the tones of a doting and protective uncle brother husband. To Cox he threw a narrow-eyed Look. "We will discuss this later, Cox. Have you any friends left, you may look to them, as you will need a second."

With that, he turned with Carla in the direction of the tent village. There would be tea and biscuits and commiseration.