Application for Claire Bennet (Heroes)
((Done with permission from the Heroes-muns. Spoilers for the whole first season.))
( I want to wake up kicking and screaming/I want to live like I know what I'm leaving/I want to know that my heart's still beating,/Is beating, Is beating, It's beating, I'm bleeding/Here we are now with the falling sky and the rain,/We're awakening/Here we are now with the desperate youth in pain,/We're awakening/Maybe it's called ambition, but you've been talk, talking in your sleep/About a dream, We're awakening )
( I want to wake up kicking and screaming/I want to live like I know what I'm leaving/I want to know that my heart's still beating,/Is beating, Is beating, It's beating, I'm bleeding/Here we are now with the falling sky and the rain,/We're awakening/Here we are now with the desperate youth in pain,/We're awakening/Maybe it's called ambition, but you've been talk, talking in your sleep/About a dream, We're awakening )
Nathan squared his jaw for a few long seconds, teeth gritting against each other as he conjured the right words in his head. He was a politician. He was a lawyer. It was his freaking job to come up with bullshit on the spot. But in light of situations like this? When what he said actually mattered? Nathan was total shit at this kind of stuff. Always saying the wrong things and everyone ended up pissed off. They could make a party out of it.
"Look," Nathan replied in a low voice, hand branching out to grasp at Claire's shoulder, as if to achieve some kind of familiarity with the girl. "I get it, all right? I'm a sucky dad. Maybe not for Simon, or Monty, but you..." Nathan screwed up his face, opening and shutting his mouth for a minute, and scratching at his forehead. "You, just, what do I do with that? Sixteen years later, and I have a daughter. What do I know about daughters? How do I work with that? And I'm sorry. Because none of this crap was supposed to happen, and it did, and for that... I apologize."
There. He'd talked. ...He could practically feel Peter breaking down into puppy tears as he spoke.
Reply
"He is a hero, Claire," Peter followed up, tucking his hands in his pockets and smiling at them both. Oh, he knew that Nathan had been prepared to let him explode and let half of New York get killed, but Nathan had also changed his mind and done the right thing, in the end. That was all that mattered to Peter. "He saved New York, when I couldn't do anything. Nathan risked his own life to save millions of people."
Okay, maybe he didn't need to give Nathan a Talking To.
"Claire, Nathan only did what he did out of love. He wanted to protect you," Peter said softly, willing Claire to understand. "He's a better man than I am." Nathan had tried to protect Claire while Peter had tried to make her shoot him in the head; in Peter's view, Nathan was much more of a hero than he would ever be.
Reply
"This is about New York," she hissed, gesturing to emphasize her points. "This is about you being willing to sacrifice all those people. You weren't protecting anyone but yourself."
She rounded on Peter. "He is not a good guy, Peter! He lied to you! He lied to me. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. And if he had done something sooner, then maybe things would have been better." She pointed at him. "He didn't save New York. You fought Sylar, you're the reason Hiro could kill him. I saw it, Peter. He just showed up because he can't even commit to being a murderer. He got cold feet, that's all. He couldn't live with himself. That's not a hero." She was all but crying, now, out of frustration and anger.
"You don't love me," she shot at Nathan. "If you loved me, you wouldn't have treated me like some pawn or something to be shoved in a closet and trotted out at the right time. You don't love anyone but yourself."
Then she glared at Peter. "And you're a hundred times better than he could ever be." Claire's eyes slid to Nathan. "And he knows it."
Reply
Because, truth was, he did try. With Claire? God, he wasn't making up all that he'd told her, about wanting to be a good father for her, about wanting to... do better. Claire hadn't been around Nathan long enough to know just how rarely he tended to be genuine around the people around him, if the politician smile flashing all six hundred and eight seven of his teeth wasn't enough indication. And here he was, and what he'd told her was... severely not lying, but how did you make that up to somebody you'd fucked over so very royally?
Nathan automatically held up a finger of warning, towards Peter, and he could practically smell the kid coming up with various excuses right now, for why Nathan was such an ass. "Nah, she's right," he automatically commented, lightly, in a low sort of voice. He slid his hands back into his slacks, gritting his teeth together and fixing Claire with a long, knowing sort of look. "I did lie." Screw the purpose behind it. That he was trying to protect everyone around him.
"I lied, and I brushed you out of the way until it was convenient for me, and," he continued, frown tugging down the corners of his mouth, "yeah, I know Peter's a better man than me." Looking decidedly very much not at Peter when he was saying this, naturally. Because Peter was not a complete asshole. A brat at times, yet a much better man than Nathan, yes. But a better man couldn't have done what Nathan nearly did. There was a reason they picked the cold, distancing brother for all of this, rather than the hospice nurse.
What do you say to something like that? Especially words coming out of the one person in the world who can absolute terrify you - your own kids. So... he left it. Forcing another blunt sort of smile, another one of those politician ones that didn't quite reach his eyes, Nathan just took a few steps back, nodding once. "Nice seeing you again, Claire. Good luck with your sorting."
Reply
And now he was walking away. Again.
"I threw a stone at your car," she said, loudly, standing with feet braced, with hand curled into fists. "I was outside of Meredith's window and I heard you. You could have seen me. You could have met me! Why didn't you?" Her voice cracked, then, and she scrubbed angrily at the tears falling down her cheeks. "Why didn't you want me? Why did you walk away?"
Then, choking back a sob, she drew back. "Never mind," she hissed, glaring. "I don't care. I don't need you. And you made it pretty obvious you don't need me. But you're not going to leave me again, okay? This time, I'm walking away from you."
Turning, Claire did just that, heading off into the crowd of the Sorting Room, trying to stop herself from crying.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Reply
Not that Peter didn't know about the various bad qualities of Nathan. He knew them just as well as he knew Nathan's good qualities, but he was willing to overlook them. For all that Nathan lied to him, manipulated him and hurt him, it was okay, because Peter had faith that Nathan still loved him. That all of that was, if not for Peter's protection, then for the greater good. And if was for selfish reasons, then that was okay too, because it was Nathan, and Peter understood.
Claire was still fighting against that, and Peter hadn't really expected her to change her view of Nathan, anyway. She was upset, he got that, and that wasn't going to change without action on Nathan's part. Peter dithered on the spot, looking between Claire and Nathan, torn between who to stay with. Claire's crying broke his heart, and all he wanted to do was hug her and tell her it was okay, that Nathan was trying - but she was already leaving, and he didn't know if another Petrelli brother was really what Claire wanted to see right now.
And if he followed after Nathan to have serious words, Peter knew that nothing productive would get talked about until Nathan had had a chance to wrap his head around Claire's appearance. So that would wait until later.
For now, Peter was going stay here and watch over Claire to make sure that she was safe, and okay. Going invisible with a thought, he retreated to the back of the room and lurked, already going over what he was going to say to Nathan later. Peter had faith that they could be family if they tried.
Reply
Leave a comment