Application: Petyr Baelish (A.K.A. Littlefinger), A Song of Ice and Fire

[petyr_baelish]

((Littlefinger's motives for coming to Hogwarts stolen from Camilla. Thanks!))

A short man with grey-green eyes and a goatee strolled leisurely through the Great Hall to the head table. His elegant silk blue cloak with its silver mockingbird clasp was caked with mud, but he was smiling. "I should really have a talk with that Thoros," he drawled. "

Comments

[dungbombsrule]

"Uh..." Ron wasn't trying to, but didn't that man just say that it was great fun to insult strangers? Blow-up dolls, blow-up dolls- Oh! Those were those things that were tossed around in Berlin, amid the bubbles and foam in that dance club. "Are you sure? Because the Muggles I talked to seemed to imply that there was a whole lot of shame involved in snuggling with a blow-up doll. But who knows, I might have misunderstood. You're the expert." The redhead frowned irritably; now being called a 'Stark' made a bit more sense. "And I'm pretty sure it's the first time, not the last time. No, I haven't seen anyone like that here, but I've been gone."

After Petyr's third announcement of his accomplishment, Ron hastily said, "Yes you did." He was very much bothered by this creep, now. At an earlier time Ron would have been blushing, but right now he mostly looked disgusted. "And I have to say, you know, pretty much every bird loses it. And so there would have to be a bloke for every, uh, time that happens. So it really isn't that big a win, if you know what I'm saying." The redhead thought about correcting himself, since some girls liked an alternative to some guy's... but no, that was not a conversation he wanted to have with anyone, but especially this guy.

[petyr_baelish]

((Aak, sorry for the delay. I'm really behind with all the comments.))

"Please, I'd rather you didn't besmirch the honour of my blowup dolls," said Petyr. "Their names are Cat II, Lyn, and Cate-Cate, and they're very special to me. And I was using 'for the last time' figuratively. There's no need to nitpick." Privately, however, he wondered how he'd made such a careless mistake. Why, it was almost as if an illiterate moron with a fraction of his intelligence had taken control of his speech and forced him to say stupid things. But he dismissed the thought as ridiculous.

"And I wouldn't be proud of taking just anyone's maidenhead. It's just that if you'd ever met my darling Cat, you'd know it's quite an accomplishment. Now, I also took Lysa Arryn's maidenhead, but you won't catch me boasting about that." He shuddered. "Well, except to half the court, but only as a bit of entertaining gossip. So if it's a matter of quantity alone, I've taken two maidenheads." For a moment, he contemplated this. "Wait a minute. If there's a man for every 'bird' who loses her maidenhead, doesn't that mean that somewhere, there's a man who has never claimed a maidenhead because of me?" He shrugged, then said, "Maybe it's you."

Ravenclaw

[dungbombsrule]

Ron continued to look disturbed. Very disturbed. "I'm pretty sure our girls have never crossed paths, so I really doubt that. And because I really, really don't want to talk about this anymore, or really, to you anymore because... oh wow. I'm just going to vote you into Ravenclaw, since you like to speak figuratively." It shouldn't be a good enough reason to vote someone into a House, but Ron just wanted to leave.

"I hope you find your Cat." Ron didn't. He actually hoped this Cat was far, far away from this man. The recently-tanned boy gave a small salute, and quickly left the sorting room.