Application: Darren Nichols (Slings & Arrows)
((Okay'ed by the S&A muns.))
A man strides forcefully into the room, carrying various play concept outlines in a tube under his arm. Darren isn't quite sure where he is within the bowels of the New Burbage Theatre, but that's never stopped him before- the important thing is to look certain and make an entrance. He's certainly dressed to do that, wearing teal leather pants, a charcoal sweater, a beaded, beige poncho, and a sparkly, emerald green scarf.
Sighting the questionnnaire, he sets down the tube and glances through it quickly. Despite rolling his eyes and sighing dramatically upon reading the ridiculous questions, he still fills it out carefully. "I'm sure Geoffrey will throw a hissy fit if I don't finish this and send it to Basil," he muses.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Like theatre, the best cheese comes from Europe and Americans have never heard of it. I am particularly fond of Brusselae Kaas, as it reminds me of Belgium."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Barney, without a doubt. That simpering dinosaur trains children to appreciate the banal dressed up in colorful dances and a soundtrack." The condescension that habitually fills his voice reaches a new high. "In short, they became musical fans!"
3. What time is it where you are?
"About thirty years ahead of the consciousness of the capital p Public, that strange multi-headed beast that is always looking backwards, desperate to avoid change."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
He snorts at this ridiculous question. "One of the perils of being on the cutting edge of post-post-modern thought it that such trifles of popular culture are below my notice, and I neither know nor care who these people are." He waves his hand dismissively. "Move on."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
He sneers at the idea of doing something so close to manual labor. "The public seems to love a feeble quip or pun in the title , so I suppose I could call the bar 'Tolt Brecht' to at least keep it from being too obvious and sickening."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"One thing I have learned from my time in the theatre is that trying to give advice to people in love is a waste of breath. No matter how well-founded or helpful the advice is, they won't listen, and they'll probably blame you when the inevitable happens and they go their separate ways. The best thing to do is not to get involved between Geoffrey, Ellen, and Oliver in these done-to-death love triangles."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"I really can't be bothered to care. It's your own fault for letting your life be ruled by the mundane, sapping your energy and your (no doubt minimal) creativity to deal with these trivialities. If you free yourself from these shackles, you will not only be more satisfied with your life, but you may even be able to accomplish something worthwhile with your time instead."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
This question prompts an insincere "hah" and a scathing tone of voice. "Surely you jest. I am a visionary, breathing life into a dead and decaying art form. I am beloved throughout Canada for my work, and am rightfully acclaimed as a genius in Europe. It will be widely agreed that Richard Smith-Jones has a life worth living before I'll ever be denounced as useless."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I would be delighted to direct the denizens of this castle in producing a play." He raises a hand to forestall the imaginary objections of his invisible audience. "Now, be forewarned, should you wish to participate in said play, that it would be far more strenuous and intellectually rigorous than the average play. Ultimately, however, this would also prove it to be more satisfying." He pauses to think, rubbing his chin in thought. "I suppose I could also draw upon my wide range of experiences to advise people on how to solve their silly little problems. God knows the New Burbage Theatre would come to a screeching halt without my help, both on and off the stage."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______DN______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____DN______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch …unless I get stabbed again . _____DN______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______DN_______"
A man strides forcefully into the room, carrying various play concept outlines in a tube under his arm. Darren isn't quite sure where he is within the bowels of the New Burbage Theatre, but that's never stopped him before- the important thing is to look certain and make an entrance. He's certainly dressed to do that, wearing teal leather pants, a charcoal sweater, a beaded, beige poncho, and a sparkly, emerald green scarf.
Sighting the questionnnaire, he sets down the tube and glances through it quickly. Despite rolling his eyes and sighing dramatically upon reading the ridiculous questions, he still fills it out carefully. "I'm sure Geoffrey will throw a hissy fit if I don't finish this and send it to Basil," he muses.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Like theatre, the best cheese comes from Europe and Americans have never heard of it. I am particularly fond of Brusselae Kaas, as it reminds me of Belgium."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Barney, without a doubt. That simpering dinosaur trains children to appreciate the banal dressed up in colorful dances and a soundtrack." The condescension that habitually fills his voice reaches a new high. "In short, they became musical fans!"
3. What time is it where you are?
"About thirty years ahead of the consciousness of the capital p Public, that strange multi-headed beast that is always looking backwards, desperate to avoid change."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
He snorts at this ridiculous question. "One of the perils of being on the cutting edge of post-post-modern thought it that such trifles of popular culture are below my notice, and I neither know nor care who these people are." He waves his hand dismissively. "Move on."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
He sneers at the idea of doing something so close to manual labor. "The public seems to love a feeble quip or pun in the title , so I suppose I could call the bar 'Tolt Brecht' to at least keep it from being too obvious and sickening."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"One thing I have learned from my time in the theatre is that trying to give advice to people in love is a waste of breath. No matter how well-founded or helpful the advice is, they won't listen, and they'll probably blame you when the inevitable happens and they go their separate ways. The best thing to do is not to get involved between Geoffrey, Ellen, and Oliver in these done-to-death love triangles."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"I really can't be bothered to care. It's your own fault for letting your life be ruled by the mundane, sapping your energy and your (no doubt minimal) creativity to deal with these trivialities. If you free yourself from these shackles, you will not only be more satisfied with your life, but you may even be able to accomplish something worthwhile with your time instead."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
This question prompts an insincere "hah" and a scathing tone of voice. "Surely you jest. I am a visionary, breathing life into a dead and decaying art form. I am beloved throughout Canada for my work, and am rightfully acclaimed as a genius in Europe. It will be widely agreed that Richard Smith-Jones has a life worth living before I'll ever be denounced as useless."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I would be delighted to direct the denizens of this castle in producing a play." He raises a hand to forestall the imaginary objections of his invisible audience. "Now, be forewarned, should you wish to participate in said play, that it would be far more strenuous and intellectually rigorous than the average play. Ultimately, however, this would also prove it to be more satisfying." He pauses to think, rubbing his chin in thought. "I suppose I could also draw upon my wide range of experiences to advise people on how to solve their silly little problems. God knows the New Burbage Theatre would come to a screeching halt without my help, both on and off the stage."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______DN______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____DN______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch …unless I get stabbed again . _____DN______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______DN_______"