Application: Agent Smith (The Matrix)
A tall, thin man, dressed in a neat, black suit, tie and sunglasses, walked into the center of a room, the tap of his shiny black dress-shoes against the floor echoing with each step. He looked around, slowly, expressionless. He tapped a cord attached to his ear, once, twice... Nothing. He glanced about himself once more and then removed the cord, a tiny smile playing at the corners of his lips. Wherever he was, it was not the Matrix.
A desk appeared in the center of the room, a single sheet of parchment resting atop it. Frowning, Smith approached the desk and raised the parchment to read what was written there. He did not remove his glasses as he read.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Slowly, Smith raised a single eyebrow. "Cheese?" He sniffed distainfully. "I have no need of such base, human sustenance."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
A cold smile formed on Smith's face. "I suppose Carrottop would have to go first -- I would imagine him to be capable of moving at a marginally faster pace. Both, however, illustrate the despiscable and grating creations of humankind... You see, these things I am surrounded by, constantly, these viruses -- " But he paused, head tilting slightly. He was not in the Matrix anymore. He smiled and then continued, "Both deserve annihilation."
3. What time is it where you are?
Smith looked bored. "Time is nothing more than the fact of existence, of change. What you mean by asking that question, 'What time is it?'" -- he smiled condescendingly -- "Is actually, 'At what point in our agreed-upon construction of measurement are we?' And that, I cannot at the moment tell you, unfamiliar as I am with... wherever this is..."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Smith pulled a mildly disgusted face and muttered, "Humans," continuing without further reponse.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Smith blinked. "The Mainframe," he offered, sounding uninterested.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Smith's lip curled in irritation. "Let them believe whatever they want -- in reality, they will merely exist for us, to be harvested for energy."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Human error and inefficiency," Smith answered indifferently.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Almost undetecable, the muscles in Smith's jaw twitched. He cracked a knuckle in his right forefinger, pressing it down with his thumb.
"I," he said, "Am the head gatekeeper, in charge of keeping the human livestock ignorant and happy in their little fantasy world. I make sure no one escapes. I track down the members of the so-called human resistance and destroy them."
He inhaled deeply through his nose and continued, "I am the most powerful, sentient and worthy of my kind. I am a breakthrough." And he deserved a higher responsibility, he deserved to be out of the Matrix, away from the humans, his own master. But this thought, he kept silent. He composed himself, adjusting his tie slightly and settling his features back to cool and collected.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Smith smiled disarmingly. "Come with me to the Matrix, and I can give you whatever you want. It won't be real, but the experience of it will be, will it not? If you don't know what is reality and what is not? After all, ignorance is bliss."
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____AS_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____AS_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___AS_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___... Machines will.______
A desk appeared in the center of the room, a single sheet of parchment resting atop it. Frowning, Smith approached the desk and raised the parchment to read what was written there. He did not remove his glasses as he read.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Slowly, Smith raised a single eyebrow. "Cheese?" He sniffed distainfully. "I have no need of such base, human sustenance."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
A cold smile formed on Smith's face. "I suppose Carrottop would have to go first -- I would imagine him to be capable of moving at a marginally faster pace. Both, however, illustrate the despiscable and grating creations of humankind... You see, these things I am surrounded by, constantly, these viruses -- " But he paused, head tilting slightly. He was not in the Matrix anymore. He smiled and then continued, "Both deserve annihilation."
3. What time is it where you are?
Smith looked bored. "Time is nothing more than the fact of existence, of change. What you mean by asking that question, 'What time is it?'" -- he smiled condescendingly -- "Is actually, 'At what point in our agreed-upon construction of measurement are we?' And that, I cannot at the moment tell you, unfamiliar as I am with... wherever this is..."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Smith pulled a mildly disgusted face and muttered, "Humans," continuing without further reponse.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Smith blinked. "The Mainframe," he offered, sounding uninterested.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Smith's lip curled in irritation. "Let them believe whatever they want -- in reality, they will merely exist for us, to be harvested for energy."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Human error and inefficiency," Smith answered indifferently.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Almost undetecable, the muscles in Smith's jaw twitched. He cracked a knuckle in his right forefinger, pressing it down with his thumb.
"I," he said, "Am the head gatekeeper, in charge of keeping the human livestock ignorant and happy in their little fantasy world. I make sure no one escapes. I track down the members of the so-called human resistance and destroy them."
He inhaled deeply through his nose and continued, "I am the most powerful, sentient and worthy of my kind. I am a breakthrough." And he deserved a higher responsibility, he deserved to be out of the Matrix, away from the humans, his own master. But this thought, he kept silent. He composed himself, adjusting his tie slightly and settling his features back to cool and collected.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Smith smiled disarmingly. "Come with me to the Matrix, and I can give you whatever you want. It won't be real, but the experience of it will be, will it not? If you don't know what is reality and what is not? After all, ignorance is bliss."
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____AS_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____AS_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___AS_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___... Machines will.______