Jul 17, 2007 17:01
Mr. Scott,
It has come to my attention that you are the head of the Dunder-Mifflin Hogsmede branch. I represent the band Dethklok, and I would like to talk to you about a potential business deal.
Charles Ofdensen
charles foster ofdensen,
owl,
michael scott
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Dear Charles Off-dem-men
Dear Charles Ondensen
Greetings!
Sounds like a plan, Stan! I'd suggest meeting at Chili's, which is the best place for business deals, but I don't think there's one here. Know of anywhere we can get a decent Awesome Blossom? They are truly awesome, you know.
Michael Scott
Regional Manager, Dunder-Mifflin Hogsmeade
Prefect, Slytherin House
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You are a very strange man
While I don't know where to get an Awesome Blossom, The Three Broomsticks should serve as a good place to have lunch and a business meeting.
Charles Ofdensen
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Dear Charlie Chaplin
Dear Charlie Choochoo
Dinkin flicka!
Yeah, and the waitresses there are pretty hot. And that statement is not at all sexually harassing, because it is true, and the truth is not harassment.
When is a good time for you?
Michael Scott
Regional Manager, Dunder-Mifflin Hogsmeade
Prefect, Slytherin House
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...........
2:30 today fine?
Charles Ofdensen
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Dear Charlie Chicken
Dear Charlesmagne
Works for me!
Michael Scott
Regional Manager, Dunder-Mifflin Hogsmeade
Prefect, Slytherin House
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And at 2:15, Michael found a table at The Three Broomsticks and waited for Ofdensen, who, if he was listening as he approached, would find Michael attempting to explain to the member of the waitstaff that it really shouldn't be that difficult to cut an onion so that all of its little parts stuck out - he inserted a healthy "That's what SHE said" right after that, of course - and then deep fry it and serve it with a sauce that imbued it with just the right amount of awesomeness.
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Point completely taken when he found Mr. Scott trying to explain a Blooming Onion to the wait staff. Ofdensen sat down across from him, waiting for him to finish before introducing himself.
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After a second, though, he recovered. Tinky Winky was back now and life was good. Aside from the onion angst, he was too happy to get too upset right now. "All RIGHT!" he exclaimed loudly. "Do you want your babybackbabybackbabybackbabyback...?" That part, of course, was once again in song.
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"Very well. Mr. Scott, I trust you are doing well today? I've come here with an exclusive proposition for Dunder-Mifflin Hogsmeade that may interest you."
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The word "exclusive" definitely caught his attention, but there was something even more pressing than exclusive propositions. "D'you wanna hear a joke?" Comedy. It was how these things had to open. It didn't matter whether they were going well from the get-go. There had to be comedy.
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"Okay, so there are these three guys," he started with a huge grin, traces of laughter already creeping into his voice. "And they start comparing their cars. And the first guy says, 'Well, I'm an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn.' And the second guy says, "Well, I'm a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort.'" He paused, grinning hugely now. Ah, the punchline! "And then the third guy says, 'I got you both beat, I'm a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe.'"
And with that, Michael burst into loud laughter.
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"All RIGHT, death parchment!" Michael exclaimed. Yeah, he had no idea what that was, but it didn't matter. What mattered was that the client had fun!
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Note to self, talk to William about that if he gets here.
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"Well, tha~aaaat sounds like a win-win situation to me!" The piss thing was...bizarre, but, well, you never knew when you needed an extra bottle of piss. Dwight's had certainly come in handy at one time. "So...what sort of music does Dethklok play? Is it like Alicia Keys?" Michael had no idea, and it was always good to know who one's customers were.
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