Curriculum Vitae for Johnny C. and Jonathan Teatime, for a Joint Position
Desired Position: Torturers Detention-masters and Squib-Handlers
Jonathan Teatime
Education:
-Ankh-Morpork Guild of Assassins
Relevant Experience:
-I have inhumed many living creatures
-I have come quite close to inhuming several things that are not usually considered living in the human sense of the word
-I have kept several people of the tricky criminal underground in-check (so I can deal with the insubordinate/trouble-makers)
-Dealt with the Squib Jimmy
Other Qualifications:
-Very good at restraining homicidal tendencies if needed
-Can deliver punishment that has been requested; can curb creativity
-Will take less-than-average wages, as I consider the job part of its own reward (the room, however, would be quite appreciated)
-Known for "some of the most creative hypothetical inhumations seen in the history of the Guild"
References:
-The Auditors (of Reality)
-Lord Downey of the Ankh-Morpork Guild of Assassins
Johnny C.
Education:
-Self-Taught
Relevant Experience:
Several years in-depth experience at delivering myriad forms of instructive adversive stimulation (usually but not exclusively terminal). Practice at operating, maintaining, and improvising tutelary implements.
Other Qualifications:
-Skilled at crowd control
-Willing to work nights
-like my colleague, the prospect of having my own private quarters (preferably with a Brainfreezy machine for my personal use) is more appealing than the potential salary.
Reference:
-Edgar Vargas
Dear Board of Governors,
While we are aware that some of the teachers may be perfectly willing to handle their own detentions, we do not believe that they should be depended on to deliver all the detentions. This position, to take care of detentions for the unwilling or time-impaired, is a quite important one and we would find it a great pleasure to take care of this for you. Also, Squibs can sometimes be quite destructive in their applications, and to be sure that they do not cause overwhelming damage in their exit from Hogwarts or try to injure students, instructors, or the Hat and Little Tom, we would be glad to escort them from the grounds, or, in dire situations, incapacitate them.
Despite the profession of one of us, the hobby of the other, and the reputation of both, we assure you that no permanent or overwhelming harm shall befall any student sent to our Detention. Additionally, we will adhere to the wishes of a teacher, if they desire a particular form of punishment for a student.
For one last pro, we do not require full payment for our services - private quarters, on the other hand, would be more than appealing.
We hope that you will consider our CV, and find it suitable.
-Johnny C., Jonathan Teatime
Jonathan Teatime
Education:
-Ankh-Morpork Guild of Assassins
Relevant Experience:
-I have inhumed many living creatures
-I have come quite close to inhuming several things that are not usually considered living in the human sense of the word
-I have kept several people of the tricky criminal underground in-check (so I can deal with the insubordinate/trouble-makers)
-Dealt with the Squib Jimmy
Other Qualifications:
-Very good at restraining homicidal tendencies if needed
-Can deliver punishment that has been requested; can curb creativity
-Will take less-than-average wages, as I consider the job part of its own reward (the room, however, would be quite appreciated)
-Known for "some of the most creative hypothetical inhumations seen in the history of the Guild"
References:
-The Auditors (of Reality)
-Lord Downey of the Ankh-Morpork Guild of Assassins
Johnny C.
Education:
-Self-Taught
Relevant Experience:
Several years in-depth experience at delivering myriad forms of instructive adversive stimulation (usually but not exclusively terminal). Practice at operating, maintaining, and improvising tutelary implements.
Other Qualifications:
-Skilled at crowd control
-Willing to work nights
-like my colleague, the prospect of having my own private quarters (preferably with a Brainfreezy machine for my personal use) is more appealing than the potential salary.
Reference:
-Edgar Vargas
Dear Board of Governors,
While we are aware that some of the teachers may be perfectly willing to handle their own detentions, we do not believe that they should be depended on to deliver all the detentions. This position, to take care of detentions for the unwilling or time-impaired, is a quite important one and we would find it a great pleasure to take care of this for you. Also, Squibs can sometimes be quite destructive in their applications, and to be sure that they do not cause overwhelming damage in their exit from Hogwarts or try to injure students, instructors, or the Hat and Little Tom, we would be glad to escort them from the grounds, or, in dire situations, incapacitate them.
Despite the profession of one of us, the hobby of the other, and the reputation of both, we assure you that no permanent or overwhelming harm shall befall any student sent to our Detention. Additionally, we will adhere to the wishes of a teacher, if they desire a particular form of punishment for a student.
For one last pro, we do not require full payment for our services - private quarters, on the other hand, would be more than appealing.
We hope that you will consider our CV, and find it suitable.
-Johnny C., Jonathan Teatime