Application: Robb Stark, A Song of Ice and Fire
((App is okay'ed by all ASOIAF muns, God help them. Here there be HUGE SPOILERS for A Storm of Swords -- you have been warned!))
Although Robb Stark had once upon a time been a perfectly normal boy, there was nothing normal about the creature that now stood in the middle of the Sorting Room, peering about dazedly. From the neck down he was a teenage boy, stocky, about sixteen -- relatively average, if your definition of 'average' included 'riddled with arrow holes.' The wounds covered him haphazardly, small black holes caked with dried blood; the skin surrounding them was pale and greyish.
None of this really compared, though, to what lay above the shoulders: instead of a boy's head there sat a wolf's, shaggy and huge, stained with more blood around the fringe of fur at the neck. The eyes stared about, somehow both empty and piercing at the same time.
Robb's memories -- or maybe they were Grey Wind's -- were a little fuzzy, as were his thoughts. There had been... a party? Celebration? And then... pain. And strangeness. And now he was here, in this big stone room, far from his pack. Family. Mate. He sniffed the air and whimpered in confusion, scratching at his neck and shoulders. Only boring smells: building smells, library smells. He padded forward and squinted down at the table in front of him, at the parchment and ink. The words were meaningless squiggles, although he thought maybe once they might have meant something.
The quill tapped meaningfully. He stared at it blankly, then threw his head back and howled.
"AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The application seemed to take the hint and started to speak aloud.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Robb cocked his head to the side and barked. Cheese?
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Kill. That was a word he knew. A word that made red heat shoot through both his human body and his wolf brain. He narrowed his eyes and growled, pulling his lips back against his teeth.
3. What time is it where you are?
Settling back on his haunches, Robb sniffed and looked around uncertainly. Time? It was... hazy, like so much else. It felt like night, maybe. Like hunting time.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
None of this question made any sense to him; he ignored it in favor of exploring his surroundings.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
'Bar' was a word he'd never known, in this particular context, and he certainly had no grasp on it now. He scratched uncomfortably at his ear with too many fingers and whined.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Married. Married? It sounded like something he should know, but... Oh! Mate! He stood up sharply and looked around, but when nothing else appeared, he let out a wolfish huff and crouched down again.
And why were his knees backwards?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
He reached up a hand and batted at the paper. Not because he was answering the question -- just because he was starting to get bored and annoyed.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
As a human, Robb had been Lord Stark and the King of the North. As a wolf, Grey Wind had killed dozens of men protecting Robb. 'Useless' wasn't a word anyone would have used to describe either unless they were a particularly bitchy Greyjoy, and something in him bristled even if he didn't completely understand. He snarled again, his fists clenching at his sides.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Robb hesitated, then shuffled forward slightly, tongue hanging out as he panted. Again, he was confused, but the gist of the question had sort of slightly gotten through. Unfortunately, he was empty-handed/pawed/what-have-you.
He held up his hands and barked.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___RS_________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____RS_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____RS______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___RS__________"
Although Robb Stark had once upon a time been a perfectly normal boy, there was nothing normal about the creature that now stood in the middle of the Sorting Room, peering about dazedly. From the neck down he was a teenage boy, stocky, about sixteen -- relatively average, if your definition of 'average' included 'riddled with arrow holes.' The wounds covered him haphazardly, small black holes caked with dried blood; the skin surrounding them was pale and greyish.
None of this really compared, though, to what lay above the shoulders: instead of a boy's head there sat a wolf's, shaggy and huge, stained with more blood around the fringe of fur at the neck. The eyes stared about, somehow both empty and piercing at the same time.
Robb's memories -- or maybe they were Grey Wind's -- were a little fuzzy, as were his thoughts. There had been... a party? Celebration? And then... pain. And strangeness. And now he was here, in this big stone room, far from his pack. Family. Mate. He sniffed the air and whimpered in confusion, scratching at his neck and shoulders. Only boring smells: building smells, library smells. He padded forward and squinted down at the table in front of him, at the parchment and ink. The words were meaningless squiggles, although he thought maybe once they might have meant something.
The quill tapped meaningfully. He stared at it blankly, then threw his head back and howled.
"AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The application seemed to take the hint and started to speak aloud.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Robb cocked his head to the side and barked. Cheese?
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Kill. That was a word he knew. A word that made red heat shoot through both his human body and his wolf brain. He narrowed his eyes and growled, pulling his lips back against his teeth.
3. What time is it where you are?
Settling back on his haunches, Robb sniffed and looked around uncertainly. Time? It was... hazy, like so much else. It felt like night, maybe. Like hunting time.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
None of this question made any sense to him; he ignored it in favor of exploring his surroundings.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
'Bar' was a word he'd never known, in this particular context, and he certainly had no grasp on it now. He scratched uncomfortably at his ear with too many fingers and whined.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Married. Married? It sounded like something he should know, but... Oh! Mate! He stood up sharply and looked around, but when nothing else appeared, he let out a wolfish huff and crouched down again.
And why were his knees backwards?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
He reached up a hand and batted at the paper. Not because he was answering the question -- just because he was starting to get bored and annoyed.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
As a human, Robb had been Lord Stark and the King of the North. As a wolf, Grey Wind had killed dozens of men protecting Robb. 'Useless' wasn't a word anyone would have used to describe either unless they were a particularly bitchy Greyjoy, and something in him bristled even if he didn't completely understand. He snarled again, his fists clenching at his sides.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Robb hesitated, then shuffled forward slightly, tongue hanging out as he panted. Again, he was confused, but the gist of the question had sort of slightly gotten through. Unfortunately, he was empty-handed/pawed/what-have-you.
He held up his hands and barked.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___RS_________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____RS_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____RS______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___RS__________"