Application: Algaliarept (Kim Harrisons' "Rachel Morgan" series)
Algaliarept wasn't typically into the business of traveling long distances - Cincinnati and the Hollows bred more than enough people willing to deal with him - but, he felt, desperate times called for desperate measures. 'Times', in this case, referred specifically to the growing lack of those willing to do deals with demons. They were getting smart. Or, stupid, actually.
It was high time for a shift. The minute that the sun went down, Algaliarept misted into appearance and pushed open the door of Hogwarts Castle, walking purposefully inside and into the Sorting Room. He'd heard wonders about this castle.
"Marvelous," he smiled thinly, pushing his round spectacles further up his nose. "Just the place I was looking for." His glasses were finely misted so that nobody could see his eyes, but if one were to look closely, they would see a red blur underneath the grey-tinted glass. However, if anybody had had the dubious pleasure of meeting him before, they wouldn't recognize him now. Gone was the guise of an 18th century gentleman, replaced instead by another very British, but more modern appearance.
Appearance curses were so much fun.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"I like a good Brie, actually," Algaliarept answered smoothly, sitting on the edge of the desk and letting the Dictaquill do the work of copying his answers. He folded his hands neatly in his lap. "With a nice Merlot or Pinot Noir. The French know what they're doing with food, they are masters of decadence."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
The thin smile never faltered, and Algaliarept shrugged. "I would kill neither. Not unless they violated some term of agreement that we had reached. Business can be so twisted sometimes."
Now would be the time that he would spin some tale about being a tax collector - but the one drawback of being a demon was that he couldn't lie.
Still, it didn't mean that he had to alert everyone as to what he was and what his purpose was. That would be giving the game away.
3. What time is it where you are?
Cocking his wrist, the demon checked his watch - an expensive looking sort, one had to keep the full appearance of a rich British businessman intact in all angles. "Just past eight pm, in your castle."
They didn't seriously expect him to be stereotypical and say something like 'It's killing time!', did they? Maybe lower class demons might do that. Heathens.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Harassment is no fun unless they actually want it," Algaliarept answered, taking a moment to push his glasses up his nose. "But, if circumstance calls, then 'wanting it' can be forced through some interesting measures. Sometimes it's nothing but tears and wailing - fun, but it gets boring very quickly."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Breaking out into peals of laughter, Algaliarept shook his head, a delighted smile snaking its way across his expression. "In the dark? That's simply unthinkable. No, no, a good bar would have to have at least one source of light. But I'm not here to critique your questions, so I suppose I shall have to think of a good name."
The demon paused, tracing a fingertip around the rim of his glasses in thought. "I would name it Other Side of the Ley-Line."
Which would make no sense if you weren't familiar with ley lines and which side demons can appear on, but he thought it suitable enough.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Oh, come now," the demon tsked. "Clearly the only way to decide is to keep them both around for a thousand years, and whichever is still fighting you is the winner." He pursed his lips - clearly these people needed a lesson in how to pick for smart choices. Not that it was going to be his job; he had a much better job in store.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Paperwork is a job best left for those who have no choice in the matter. Employees, if you will."
For a brief moment, Algaliarept thought back to his recently-lost familiar, Ceri, and he frowned slightly. Not that she had ever had to do any paperwork, but she had been fairly useful in twisting curses for him. Now he had to do the bloody things by himself.
Unless he could find someone else here.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Algaliarept's eyebrows furrowed, though without seeing his eyes it was impossible to tell if he was amused or annoyed. "Useless is, by definition, applied to those who have no worth to society. I..." he paused, maybe for effect, "Am definitely useful to society. I can make things happen that other people would try and fail for."
He paused again, making a show of readjusting the cuffs on his suit jacket. "No, I am far from useless. I'm sure, in fact, that I could do something for a great many people here."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
"A bribe? A-" The demon cut himself off, internally seething. That was not the order of things. He should be receiving the bribes, here. But, upon second thought, there was a way to twist this to his advantage.
"Very well, a bribe it is," the thin smile returned. "Or many bribes, as the case may be. You need only ask, and I will grant something." Of course, he didn't mention the fact that the payment for 'granting wishes' was a heavy price - just because he couldn't lie, it didn't mean he had to tell the truth.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____A_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____A______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____A______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______A_______
It was high time for a shift. The minute that the sun went down, Algaliarept misted into appearance and pushed open the door of Hogwarts Castle, walking purposefully inside and into the Sorting Room. He'd heard wonders about this castle.
"Marvelous," he smiled thinly, pushing his round spectacles further up his nose. "Just the place I was looking for." His glasses were finely misted so that nobody could see his eyes, but if one were to look closely, they would see a red blur underneath the grey-tinted glass. However, if anybody had had the dubious pleasure of meeting him before, they wouldn't recognize him now. Gone was the guise of an 18th century gentleman, replaced instead by another very British, but more modern appearance.
Appearance curses were so much fun.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"I like a good Brie, actually," Algaliarept answered smoothly, sitting on the edge of the desk and letting the Dictaquill do the work of copying his answers. He folded his hands neatly in his lap. "With a nice Merlot or Pinot Noir. The French know what they're doing with food, they are masters of decadence."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
The thin smile never faltered, and Algaliarept shrugged. "I would kill neither. Not unless they violated some term of agreement that we had reached. Business can be so twisted sometimes."
Now would be the time that he would spin some tale about being a tax collector - but the one drawback of being a demon was that he couldn't lie.
Still, it didn't mean that he had to alert everyone as to what he was and what his purpose was. That would be giving the game away.
3. What time is it where you are?
Cocking his wrist, the demon checked his watch - an expensive looking sort, one had to keep the full appearance of a rich British businessman intact in all angles. "Just past eight pm, in your castle."
They didn't seriously expect him to be stereotypical and say something like 'It's killing time!', did they? Maybe lower class demons might do that. Heathens.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Harassment is no fun unless they actually want it," Algaliarept answered, taking a moment to push his glasses up his nose. "But, if circumstance calls, then 'wanting it' can be forced through some interesting measures. Sometimes it's nothing but tears and wailing - fun, but it gets boring very quickly."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Breaking out into peals of laughter, Algaliarept shook his head, a delighted smile snaking its way across his expression. "In the dark? That's simply unthinkable. No, no, a good bar would have to have at least one source of light. But I'm not here to critique your questions, so I suppose I shall have to think of a good name."
The demon paused, tracing a fingertip around the rim of his glasses in thought. "I would name it Other Side of the Ley-Line."
Which would make no sense if you weren't familiar with ley lines and which side demons can appear on, but he thought it suitable enough.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Oh, come now," the demon tsked. "Clearly the only way to decide is to keep them both around for a thousand years, and whichever is still fighting you is the winner." He pursed his lips - clearly these people needed a lesson in how to pick for smart choices. Not that it was going to be his job; he had a much better job in store.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Paperwork is a job best left for those who have no choice in the matter. Employees, if you will."
For a brief moment, Algaliarept thought back to his recently-lost familiar, Ceri, and he frowned slightly. Not that she had ever had to do any paperwork, but she had been fairly useful in twisting curses for him. Now he had to do the bloody things by himself.
Unless he could find someone else here.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Algaliarept's eyebrows furrowed, though without seeing his eyes it was impossible to tell if he was amused or annoyed. "Useless is, by definition, applied to those who have no worth to society. I..." he paused, maybe for effect, "Am definitely useful to society. I can make things happen that other people would try and fail for."
He paused again, making a show of readjusting the cuffs on his suit jacket. "No, I am far from useless. I'm sure, in fact, that I could do something for a great many people here."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
"A bribe? A-" The demon cut himself off, internally seething. That was not the order of things. He should be receiving the bribes, here. But, upon second thought, there was a way to twist this to his advantage.
"Very well, a bribe it is," the thin smile returned. "Or many bribes, as the case may be. You need only ask, and I will grant something." Of course, he didn't mention the fact that the payment for 'granting wishes' was a heavy price - just because he couldn't lie, it didn't mean he had to tell the truth.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____A_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____A______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____A______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______A_______