Simba arrives at Hogwarts!
A young lion cub scampered across down the hall. He didn't know where he was, but he wasn't too worried. This was an adventure. It was going to be really cool. And Nala was going to be so jealous.
He peeked around the corner of an entryway, into a large room. After glancing around cautiously, he entered. "Hello?" he called out, only slightly timidly. A piece of paper drifted down in front of him. Curious, he pawed at it and studied it carefully. Not being able to read, the questions were dictated to him out loud. He replied with his answers likewise.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? What kind of question is that? This place is so weird. I don't even know what cheese tastes like. Zebra on the other hand...
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney, probably. More meat.
3. What time is it where you are?
Midday. Not time to sleep, and not time to nap, and not time to drink from the water hole. Time to play and hunt and explore! That's why I'm here.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Uhh, what? That's gross. I don't really have to answer that, do I? Besides, those people are humans, aren't they? Yuck.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Elephant Graveyard
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Again: yuck. Look, I'm really not interested into the mating rituals of humans, ok? He should go with whoever he likes better, I guess? And if he doesn't like either of them, then he should go with nobody! He's better off that way. When I'm king, nobody will have to pay attention to this kind of stupid stuff. They can just do what they want.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I don't know. Maybe someone keeps putting it back on your desk when you're not looking. Probably Zazu -- he always likes people to be doing boring stuff like that. Stupid dodo.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I'm the future king! I'm anything BUT useless. You'd better listen to me, because one day, I'm going to be in charge of EVERYTHING. Plus, I'm really brave. I LAUGH in the face of danger. So if there's a problem, you can just come and get me. Or my dad -- he's even bigger and braver.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Uhh, well, when I'm king, I'll let you get away with stuff and not get in trouble? And do whatever you want? And I'll make sure you get good food. And I'll take you with me to visit the Elephant Graveyard that my Uncle Scar told me about. It'll be awesome.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __*pawprint*__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __*pawprint*__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __*pawprint*__.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____*pawprint*____
He peeked around the corner of an entryway, into a large room. After glancing around cautiously, he entered. "Hello?" he called out, only slightly timidly. A piece of paper drifted down in front of him. Curious, he pawed at it and studied it carefully. Not being able to read, the questions were dictated to him out loud. He replied with his answers likewise.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? What kind of question is that? This place is so weird. I don't even know what cheese tastes like. Zebra on the other hand...
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney, probably. More meat.
3. What time is it where you are?
Midday. Not time to sleep, and not time to nap, and not time to drink from the water hole. Time to play and hunt and explore! That's why I'm here.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Uhh, what? That's gross. I don't really have to answer that, do I? Besides, those people are humans, aren't they? Yuck.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Elephant Graveyard
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Again: yuck. Look, I'm really not interested into the mating rituals of humans, ok? He should go with whoever he likes better, I guess? And if he doesn't like either of them, then he should go with nobody! He's better off that way. When I'm king, nobody will have to pay attention to this kind of stupid stuff. They can just do what they want.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I don't know. Maybe someone keeps putting it back on your desk when you're not looking. Probably Zazu -- he always likes people to be doing boring stuff like that. Stupid dodo.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I'm the future king! I'm anything BUT useless. You'd better listen to me, because one day, I'm going to be in charge of EVERYTHING. Plus, I'm really brave. I LAUGH in the face of danger. So if there's a problem, you can just come and get me. Or my dad -- he's even bigger and braver.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Uhh, well, when I'm king, I'll let you get away with stuff and not get in trouble? And do whatever you want? And I'll make sure you get good food. And I'll take you with me to visit the Elephant Graveyard that my Uncle Scar told me about. It'll be awesome.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __*pawprint*__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __*pawprint*__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __*pawprint*__.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____*pawprint*____