Owl to the Sorting Hat
((As the Easter Bunny - possessing paws instead of hands - cannot write, the application is in the carefully rounded print of the Dictaquill.))
To whom it may concern,
I've heard the position of Apparation Teacher is free, and I'm just the rabbit for the job.
Position Desired:
Apparation Teacher
Education:
I'm a rabbit, I don't have any formal education. But... I have:
At Harvard, under the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences:
- Spent two years in the back of the Economics class.
- Three years in Astronomy.
- One year in Biology, Molecular and Cellular.
- One and a half years in Linguistics.
- 6 months in Psychology.
- 2 months in Sociology.
Relevant Experience:
Seeing as I'm the Easter Bunny, this sort of stuff comes natural to me, y'know what I mean? But, if I need to toot my own horn...
- Name any language, I can speak it. (Even countries that don't celebrate Easter. I am that good.)
- I've been around for hundreds of years.
- I've had to deal with Santa for hundreds of years. If that doesn't give me patience, I don't know what does.
- I've never formally taught a class, unless you count that one time I tried to teach guitar to a classroom full of small children with ADHD.
- Or that other time in 1790 when I convinced a class of German children to scream rude words in German at their teachers and parents. That counts as teaching, I think.
Other Qualifications:
Can do a mean Mr. T impression.
References:
Santa Claus
Mrs. Claus, even though she ain't around the castle. She is fine, though.
That creepy guy that used to hang out in the Ten Bells in Whitechapel, London. (I think he's known as Jack the Ripper nowadays. Something flashy and stupid.)
Cheers,
E.B.
To whom it may concern,
I've heard the position of Apparation Teacher is free, and I'm just the rabbit for the job.
Position Desired:
Apparation Teacher
Education:
I'm a rabbit, I don't have any formal education. But... I have:
At Harvard, under the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences:
- Spent two years in the back of the Economics class.
- Three years in Astronomy.
- One year in Biology, Molecular and Cellular.
- One and a half years in Linguistics.
- 6 months in Psychology.
- 2 months in Sociology.
Relevant Experience:
Seeing as I'm the Easter Bunny, this sort of stuff comes natural to me, y'know what I mean? But, if I need to toot my own horn...
- Name any language, I can speak it. (Even countries that don't celebrate Easter. I am that good.)
- I've been around for hundreds of years.
- I've had to deal with Santa for hundreds of years. If that doesn't give me patience, I don't know what does.
- I've never formally taught a class, unless you count that one time I tried to teach guitar to a classroom full of small children with ADHD.
- Or that other time in 1790 when I convinced a class of German children to scream rude words in German at their teachers and parents. That counts as teaching, I think.
Other Qualifications:
Can do a mean Mr. T impression.
References:
Santa Claus
Mrs. Claus, even though she ain't around the castle. She is fine, though.
That creepy guy that used to hang out in the Ten Bells in Whitechapel, London. (I think he's known as Jack the Ripper nowadays. Something flashy and stupid.)
Cheers,
E.B.