The Horrible Unpopping of GIR! (open RP)

[metsuhametsu]

Deep in the bowls of the castle - which is to say, in a rather large and unusual room on the second floor - there came an almighty crash, as a small metallic robot fell from the roof into a little metal pile on the stone floor. How he managed this after spending several months as a large kernel of popcorn in an unbreakable glass case is unknown.

Comments

[assmeat_hunger]

((...Oh, dear God, I love you. ...And because these two should never, EVER be in the same room together...!))

"Dear sweet Jeebus, it's one'a them cyborgs!" Tenna chose to yelp aloud, eyes wide and fixated on the small, metal thing in front of her. Why she was down by the popcorn room, she didn't quite kn... Okay, she'd been trying to steal a piece of popcorn. They were so big! And fluffy! But seriously. Robot. Way more interesting than snack food. "Cyborgs taste like monkeys you say? How peculi-fuckin'-lar!"

[metsuhametsu]

((AHAHAHA OH GOD. Tenna and GIR. Perfect. XD))

"Cyborg!" GIR screamed. His eyes and the panel on his chest glowed red; he raised his arms above his head and flew upwards into the air, spinning and making various combat-style poses before landing, with a soft thump, on Tenna's head.

His eyes were blue again.

"One day I'm gonna taste like a burrito! Burriiiiiiitoooo!" Tenna's head was smaller than Zim's, and MUCH smaller than Dib's (of course), so GIR sat with his legs danging in front of Tenna's face rather than curling up comfortably. He leaned forward and down to look at her. "And I got a piggy!" The malfunctioning SIR unit pulled a rubber piggy from his head (he'd taken out various chips and wires to make room for it! Yay!) and squeaked it in Tenna's general direction.

[assmeat_hunger]

And oh, dear. Flying metal objects could never be a good thing. Could cause explosions! Decapitate young things! Eat cows! In fact, she was fairly sure she read a documentary about that once.

...Read a documentary? What?

Wait. It was on her head. THERE WAS A ROBOT RATHER ON HER HEAD.

Neat!

Naturally, the pig being dangled in front of Tenna's face made her automatically squeak back, in recognition. "Squeak," she said quite seriously to the pig. And then, much louder, and more of a screech, "THING WHAT SQUEEEEEAKS." Oh, this was a perfect, perfect moment. She instantly whipped out Spooky, giggling hysterically and squeaking him like nobody's business. "They can be FRIIIEENNNDDS."

[metsuhametsu]

"You gots a piggy too!" GIR cried, delighted. He loveded the piggy, after all, but the poor piggy didn't have any friends because the squirrel kept trying to eat it. (There had actually been a long succession of the tiny rubber toys, some of whom had been eaten by GIR himself - why else did the base come equipped with a high-tech rubber piggy dispenser? - but to his shattered little robot mind, there was only ONE pig.)

"Whatsit called? Whatsit callllled?" GIR demanded. "My piggy's called..." he trailed off, thinking hard for a few minutes. "PIGGY!"

Suddenly, GIR remembered that he wasn't supposed to talk in fron of humans. The fact that he was BLATANTLY a robot, without even his green doggy disguise on, didn't cross his mind. "... MIAOW."

[assmeat_hunger]

"No piggy!" she screeched back, almost indignantly. Spooky was better than any pig! Spooky was GOOOODDDDD. She squeaked the toy a few more times into GIR's face, as if for emphasis, squinting an eye. "Spoooooooky. And, despite incessant squeaking, he is no pig!" Honestly. Spooky. A pig. Laughable!

...Did the robot just meow at her? Was it a robot? Or a cat? Suddenly she didn't know! Oh, God! That was confusing! Was this newfound Robot/Cat/Creature like the neighbor lady's cat? With acid for blood? Please say it didn't have acid for blood. "DON'T BLEED ON ME, I LIKE MY FAAAACCCEEEE," she cried without outward prompt, grabbing at GIR (and consequently squashing Spooky with an overzealous SQUEEEAK against the side of his head) and holding the robot out as far in front of her as she could manage.

[metsuhametsu]

"Wheeeeee," GIR said. "I'm FLOATING!" He wriggled his feet happily, squishing his head harder against Spooky to hear another squeak. Hee!

He did it again. SQUEEK. Hee!

He did it again. This time, he squeezed the piggy at the same time.

DOUBLE-SQUEEK!

"I like Spooky," GIR decided, completely forgetting that he wasn't speaking like a human to humans right now. "Spooky can fight allll the bad guys with the squirrel. And then we'll all have cupcakes! I like faces too," he adds.

[assmeat_hunger]

Hee! This thing was amusing! They were to be friends! Nay, kindred spirits! Were those the same thing? The second one sounded cooler, at any rate.

"And Spooky likes yooouuuu," she said in a long, drawn-out voice, one that was extremely pleased with this small, robot child. "In fact. He fights squirrels often." He did. He was SuperSpook, the thing what squeaks. At squirrels. "Where are the squirrels? Are they ni~inja squirrels!?" she demanded in a fervent voice, eyes pointedly boring into GIR's. Faces were fun.

"And what KIND of cupcakes, eh? Eh?"

[metsuhametsu]

"Multicoloured cupcakes! They taste like EVERYTHING." GIR nodded in a way that he possibly thought of as wise, but really was just dementedly fast.

But then a look of shock! "The squirrel is my friend. He ate up Dib's greasy head and we ate waffles and went to see movies!" Somehow, tears well up in GIR's electronic eyes. "I loveded the squirrel!" Not as much as he loveded the piggy, of course.

Duh.

"But maybe it WAS a ninja squirrel. NINJAAA." Thoughtfully, GIR squished his head against Spooky again. SQUEEK. Hee.

[assmeat_hunger]

Cupcakes that tasted of everything were quite possibly godly, and for a moment, Tenna looked to the ceiling with a starry-eyed expression that might have been awe. Or, perhaps, constipation. One could never know with her.

He just said they would fight the squirrel! God, indecisive robot thing. "Di-buh?" she sounded Dib's name out slowly, cocking an eyebrow. "Waffles? At the movies? Cheese 'n rice, your movie theaters rock, little cyborg. How peculiar." She blinked at him contemplatively. "Aww, don't cry. Squirrels can be friends! I RESEMBLE A SQUIRREL, I DO."

Okay, not really. She could pretend.

She could also pretend to be a ninja, and that was what she promptly proceeded to do, one of GIR's arms in a fist, waved haphazardly behind her, as the other jabbed into the air in some sort of vague, ninja pose. "SHWAAAAA."

[metsuhametsu]

"I like ninjas," GIR said slowly as Tenna wooshed him around by his arms. "I really do." As if to back up this statement, he started squeaking the piggy again. The piggy could be a ninja too, AND the squirrel, and the human he was talking to (although she seemed to be turning into a giant tap-dancing sausage as he spoke. GIR wasn't worried. That happened sometimes.)

"Can I have mashed po-TAY-toes?"

[assmeat_hunger]

Tenna relaxed a bit then, setting GIR down onto the floor and squeaking Spooky right back. "Pirates are cooler," she admitted with a shrug, blinking at the piggy and back to Spooky. And squeaked him a few more times, again, as if to remind herself that he still could.

"MASHED PAH-TAY-TERS?" she crooned aloud, eyes wide and staring for a brief few seconds. "YOU DARE TO ASK FOR THE MASHED POTATOES?!" She looked a thing of rage, and smushed Spooky in GIR's face again, eyes still wide and glaring. And then, you know, switched automatically back into Tenna again, grinning. "Okay!"

[metsuhametsu]

"Yaaaaaaye!!" GIR shouted, and started rolling about the floor excitedly. Then he jumped up and began running in little circles around Tenna. "I don't know what pirates is!"

(This fact, although horrifying, was entirely true. GIR knew of ninjas. GIR knew of soldiers. GIR knew of the Slaughtering Rat People of planet Blorch and the terrifying mutating baby-people of Nhar-Gh'ok, but somehow - somehow - he had missed the hype of Pirates of the Caribbean. For someone who watched so much TV, this was rather impressive.)

"I'll make the muffins!" he added. You couldn't have mashed potatoes without muffins, after all.

[assmeat_hunger]

He. Didn't know. What pirates were? Oh, that was sad. Very sad. Worthy of tears. Or, at least, it would have been worthy of tears if Tenna were capable of shedding them anymore. But, still, at any rate, pirates were amazing, and the fact that GIR was unfamiliar with them was enough to send Tenna's jaw falling towards the floor. For a few long seconds. Before she finally spoke again.

"You must be educated! Small robot child!" she announced aloud, and waved her arms in her very best imitation of a windmill. "But muffins! Yay muffins! I concur with that statement whole-heartedly! Muffins and mashed POTAYTOES it is."