Open RP in Bitchiwitch: Calling all Villains!

[red_war_rider]

War rode her Harley straight through the portrait that guarded the door to the Bitchiwitch common room, causing the sweet little forest animals to run screaming from the frame as the canvas shredded under her tires

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[aquilus_albel]

*Albel wanders in (after finally getting rid of all that butter). He doesn't quite think of himself as a villain, but he usually relates to villains more than he does to the people he would, had he lived on Earth circa 1950 AD, think of as his goodie-two-shoes friends. And he's definitely a malcontent. He has declined to wear red leather, but is just as extensively armed as normal (or so he thinks, never having met, say, Disc assassins) - after all, he has some weaponry that is, as it were, built in. He looks around.*

Did someone put out a call for malcontents?

[red_war_rider]

War waved to the new guy from her chair, where she was chatting with Eris. "Thanks for coming!" she called. "So who are you, and what did you bring me?"

[aquilus_albel]

The name's Albel Nox. Albel the Wicked to my enemies. And as to what I've brought you... *He holds up a case labelled in Klausian writing. In Albel's short time of being connected to the universe at large, he's discovered that Klaus IV produces some of the best liquor in the galaxy.*

[red_war_rider]

"Thanks," she replied. "What makes you wicked?"

[aquilus_albel]

*Albel shrugs.* Fools always villify what they don't understand. *And the fact that Albel's idea of formal conversation is not insulting someone every other sentence doesn't help, either.*

[red_war_rider]

"So, are you actually wicked, or just misunderstood?"

[aquilus_albel]

I suppose it depends on what you mean by "wicked." *Albel pulls a face.* Living with politicians for most of my life is getting to me. Does finding violence an enjoyable way to relieve stress make one wicked?

[red_war_rider]

War yawned, and looked thoughtful. "No, I think it just makes you normal. Or human. Humans are always relieving stress through violence, or some simulacrum of it, such as team sports, which some people become homicidal over." She grinned. "I do what I can."

[aquilus_albel]

Well, I suppose it's nice to know I'm still human.

So, you're War. I suppose I have you to thank for such an excellent opportunity to exercise my skills in the recent "disturbance" with Aquaria, as some of the nobles call it. *He mutters something that sounds like cowardly maggots under his breath.*

[red_war_rider]

"Generally, yeah. But sometimes humans pull all kinds of stunts without me - and I am just there to egg them on, or to expand the trouble."

She looked at Albel. "So, any ideas for redecoration, or any cool weapons?"

[aquilus_albel]

Hm... Did you ever meet a man called Vox?

*Albel shrugs.* My tastes in decorating, such as they are, tend to run towards what's already here. Should have gotten the Desteed worm or whatever her name was in here. Girl was a devil for interior design - she tried to redecorate my room on the Diplo electric purple once.

As for weapons... *His hand strays to the hilt of the Crimson Scourge for a moment.* I suppose you can probably tell I lean towards various bladed weapons, particularly swords. I never quite saw the point of polearms; what use is a weapon that only works at close range?

[red_war_rider]

"Vox? There's a singer - Bono Vox, who named himself after that particular stop on a pipe organ, 'bono vox'. That's the only one I know, and he's utterly opposed to me. Always doing protests and such."

"Hmm - I don't do purple. Although electricity could be fun. Got any torture devices that use energy or electricity?"

"And don't underestimate the fun of short-range warfare. The Greeks understood. There's something about looking your opponent in the eye from less than a foot away, watching as he dies." Her eyes got a dreamy, faraway look, and she smiled. "Anyway."

[aquilus_albel]

I was referring to... Actually, I never bothered to find out his given name. Battle for the sake of battle, that's what he loved. That, and stabbing me in the back at every opportunity. *But I'll be sure to tell him about this Bono character when I see him in hell.*

Energy? The Aquarians tended to go in for that; we used dragons in Airyglyph. Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if they used something like that, except that apparently the church of Apris forbids torture now. Worms are too squeamish for their own good.

I'm sorry, I misspoke. I meant that they don't work at close range, unless you're using one short enough that it isn't a polearm anymore. But I have to agree with you; if I didn't, I wouldn't have claws on this. *The warrior taps his artificial arm.*