One-shot of Gonzo! More later!
((Gonzo discovers floo powder! Hufflepuff to Diagon Alley.
Next up, Gonzo discovers Weasley's Wizard Wheezes! Be sure to duck!!!))
The furry blue alien weirdo thingy was pacing back and forth, back and forth, in the Hufflepuff common room, frustrated. Gonzo had been here almost a MONTH, and had YET to get a wand, or start studying.
He had been sorted.
He had gone to a party, and met some nice girls.
He had met a GORGEOUS woman named Camilla, and proposed marriage, and was summarily turned down, presumably, he thought, due to his then-state of unconsciousness rather than for his lack of, um, suaveness.
But he had NOT gotten a wand.
Frustrated, he threw his arms out, and his head back, and yelled, “Can’t I just get a little service here?!?”
Instantly, a house elf popped into view. “Sir?” it said, rather unsure of the appropriate designation for such a unique student as this.
“Ah!!!” Gonzo screamed. “How did you do that?!?!?”
The house elf looked even more confused. “Magic,” he said, hesitantly.
Gonzo’s eyes widened impossibly. “COOL!!!” he cried, jubilantly. “Now we’re getting somewhere!!!”
“Sir wishes to go somewhere?” asked the house elf.
“Yes!!!” Gonzo replied. “I need to go where I can get a wand, and some new things for my act!!!”
“A wand,” nodded the house elf. “Diagon Alley is where you is wanting. Ollivander’s.”
“But how do I get there?” asked the nasally proficient blue alien.
The house elf gestured to the mantle of the fireplace. A large silver jar sat upon it, noticeably overflowing with sparkling dust. “Sir takes some powder, puts it in the fire, and says where he wants to go.”
Gonzo’s eyes went even wider. “AWESOME!!!” he cried, and raced to the fireplace. Grabbing the entire jar off the mantelpiece, he threw a handful of the powder into the flames, jumped in with no hesitation, and hollered, “Diagon Alley!!!”
As the house elf prepared to return to his interrupted duties, he heard a faint “woo-hoooooo!!!” from the direction of the fireplace. Shaking his head, he disappeared with a loud crack.
Gonzo whooshed out of a grate, and skidded until he bumped into the opposite curb. A sign directly above him read in ornate script, Diagon Alley. “Whee!!!” he shouted, “What a RIDE!!!” He immediately rushed into the first shop he saw, and bought a satchel to put the pilfered floo powder in. He also pulled out his student letter, mentally going through the list of supplies he would need as a student. He then pulled out a considerably longer piece of parchment, which unrolled to be several feet, containing his idea of necessary items.
But first, a wand!!!
He ran down the street to Olivander’s. The faded sign perfectly matched the faded wizard who tended the shop. Olivander himself looked up from a dusty ledger, and stopped, quill in hand, poised above the inkpot. Now here, he thought, is something new.
**
Three hours later, almost every wand in the shop had been tried. Gonzo had already exploded a lamp, jelly-leg cursed himself (which he rather enjoyed, it must be said), and burnt down half the shop, causing Olivander to repair it all with a sweep of his own wand.
Olivander himself, however, looked completely exhausted. “My dear…” he looked askance at Gonzo, “sir - I must say that you have tried my skills, and have not yet found the proper wand for you. Where on earth are you from, that you would be so out of the normal range of wizarding materials?”
Gonzo laughed. “Not from EARTH, Mr. Olivander! I’M FROM OUTER SPACE!!!”
Olivander rolled his eyes, and pushed himself up from the dusty armchair he had been resting in. “If you had said that at the first, my boy, we could have saved ourselves much trouble….” He wandered off into the back of the storeroom, and pulled the one remaining box down from its perch.
Returning to Gonzo with the purple and silver box, he informed him of its attributes. "Eight and three sixteenths inches, made of twisted willow, magical properties deriving from three small meteorites, aligned perfectly within, by both size and color - rather daring, I might add.” He reached out the wand to Gonzo. “Last one, I’m afraid. But if you had told me before, it could have been the first.” Olivander favored Gonzo with a strict glare, which then softened. “Go on, try it!”
Gonzo waved it, and power surged through him. Light flared. Chickens sang. Squids danced in oatmeal. It was PERFECT.
Next up, Gonzo discovers Weasley's Wizard Wheezes! Be sure to duck!!!))
The furry blue alien weirdo thingy was pacing back and forth, back and forth, in the Hufflepuff common room, frustrated. Gonzo had been here almost a MONTH, and had YET to get a wand, or start studying.
He had been sorted.
He had gone to a party, and met some nice girls.
He had met a GORGEOUS woman named Camilla, and proposed marriage, and was summarily turned down, presumably, he thought, due to his then-state of unconsciousness rather than for his lack of, um, suaveness.
But he had NOT gotten a wand.
Frustrated, he threw his arms out, and his head back, and yelled, “Can’t I just get a little service here?!?”
Instantly, a house elf popped into view. “Sir?” it said, rather unsure of the appropriate designation for such a unique student as this.
“Ah!!!” Gonzo screamed. “How did you do that?!?!?”
The house elf looked even more confused. “Magic,” he said, hesitantly.
Gonzo’s eyes widened impossibly. “COOL!!!” he cried, jubilantly. “Now we’re getting somewhere!!!”
“Sir wishes to go somewhere?” asked the house elf.
“Yes!!!” Gonzo replied. “I need to go where I can get a wand, and some new things for my act!!!”
“A wand,” nodded the house elf. “Diagon Alley is where you is wanting. Ollivander’s.”
“But how do I get there?” asked the nasally proficient blue alien.
The house elf gestured to the mantle of the fireplace. A large silver jar sat upon it, noticeably overflowing with sparkling dust. “Sir takes some powder, puts it in the fire, and says where he wants to go.”
Gonzo’s eyes went even wider. “AWESOME!!!” he cried, and raced to the fireplace. Grabbing the entire jar off the mantelpiece, he threw a handful of the powder into the flames, jumped in with no hesitation, and hollered, “Diagon Alley!!!”
As the house elf prepared to return to his interrupted duties, he heard a faint “woo-hoooooo!!!” from the direction of the fireplace. Shaking his head, he disappeared with a loud crack.
Gonzo whooshed out of a grate, and skidded until he bumped into the opposite curb. A sign directly above him read in ornate script, Diagon Alley. “Whee!!!” he shouted, “What a RIDE!!!” He immediately rushed into the first shop he saw, and bought a satchel to put the pilfered floo powder in. He also pulled out his student letter, mentally going through the list of supplies he would need as a student. He then pulled out a considerably longer piece of parchment, which unrolled to be several feet, containing his idea of necessary items.
But first, a wand!!!
He ran down the street to Olivander’s. The faded sign perfectly matched the faded wizard who tended the shop. Olivander himself looked up from a dusty ledger, and stopped, quill in hand, poised above the inkpot. Now here, he thought, is something new.
**
Three hours later, almost every wand in the shop had been tried. Gonzo had already exploded a lamp, jelly-leg cursed himself (which he rather enjoyed, it must be said), and burnt down half the shop, causing Olivander to repair it all with a sweep of his own wand.
Olivander himself, however, looked completely exhausted. “My dear…” he looked askance at Gonzo, “sir - I must say that you have tried my skills, and have not yet found the proper wand for you. Where on earth are you from, that you would be so out of the normal range of wizarding materials?”
Gonzo laughed. “Not from EARTH, Mr. Olivander! I’M FROM OUTER SPACE!!!”
Olivander rolled his eyes, and pushed himself up from the dusty armchair he had been resting in. “If you had said that at the first, my boy, we could have saved ourselves much trouble….” He wandered off into the back of the storeroom, and pulled the one remaining box down from its perch.
Returning to Gonzo with the purple and silver box, he informed him of its attributes. "Eight and three sixteenths inches, made of twisted willow, magical properties deriving from three small meteorites, aligned perfectly within, by both size and color - rather daring, I might add.” He reached out the wand to Gonzo. “Last one, I’m afraid. But if you had told me before, it could have been the first.” Olivander favored Gonzo with a strict glare, which then softened. “Go on, try it!”
Gonzo waved it, and power surged through him. Light flared. Chickens sang. Squids danced in oatmeal. It was PERFECT.