Pickles (the drummer) (doodily doo ding dong doodily doodily doo) ; Metalocalypse

[doodily_doo]

((Okay'd by zee Dethklok muns!))

Definitely not as cool as Mordhaus. But hey. Any kind of castle's pretty brutal.

What looks like just about the only man to be able to be just about totally Irish and pull off a dreadlock'd comb-over suddenly appeared in the middle of the sorting room, giant cloud of TOTALLY METAL smoke wafting out through the

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[brutal_metal]

((*DIES SO MUCH* Oh my god, you are pure win. Shrieking with laughter at the first thing I read when I wake up is just... metal.))

If it was one thing that Nathan hadn't been doing around the castle, it was catching all the bugs he could and trying to breed them together to create a super race of bugs to become Dethklok's minions are take over the world. Of course he hadn't. Absolutely not. Turns out there's not much luck in breeding a cockroach and a mantis together.

And, Pickles in his tighty whities, clutching vodka? Totally a familiar sight. Passing by the Sorting Room with Hotdog in his typical place on Nathan's shoulder, he snorted. "Pickles, this place is turning into Mordhaus," he grunted, leaving that as his greeting.

[doodily_doo]

((Totally metal! Thankies, hun, I'm glad I could amuse thee XD))

Dude. Superbug breeding was totally metal.

But, hey! Nathan! Toki hadn't been lying! "Hey, man, I mean, uh. You really ain't gonna want this place to be, uh. To be Mordhaus. Yeah, not anymore," he replied, almost sheepishly, and took a large swig of vodka. "Yeah, er, uh. Kinda just been me and, uh, Murderface and. It's... yeah, it's kinda trashed. And. ...Smells. Like him."

[brutal_metal]

Having been on the receiving side of exactly what unwashed Murderface smelled like, especially while cooped up in the submarine recording DethWater, Nathan didn't look too pleased at the prospect of Hogwarts turning into Mordhaus. It definitely sounded like a bad idea. "Hm. How didn't you die? That'd kill anybody, uh, being... exposed to that."

[doodily_doo]

Except that submarine... smelled exactly like how Mordhaus did now. And. It was definitely nauseating. "Yeah, I, uh. There may'a definitely been some barfin'. I didn't really even notice some'a the time. Mostly cuz. ...Well, I was kinda trashed. But, yeah, you could even smell it through that. Which is. ...Yeah, it's not awesome. At all."

[brutal_metal]

Now Nathan was definitely glad the place wasn't turning into Mordhaus, because while puking was pretty metal, Nathan tended to puke blood more than bile. "Yeah, that's... not awesome. If you think about it. Which... I guess you don't, 'cause you've been there. Oh!" Remembering his new pet, Nathan plucked the rat off his shoulder and held him by the scruff of the neck, ignoring the fact that the rat had been trying to suck his blood. "Pickles, meet," and he dropped to the brutal metal tone usually reserved for shows, "Hoooootdoooog!"

[doodily_doo]

Luckily, Pickles' puke had still been... just puke-y. Which was probably a good thing. even though... He definitely drank WAY more than Nathan, and... heh. Nathan just had a shitty liver. "Yeah, I just, uh. I think I'm just gonna go ahead and block that from my mind now. Yeh. Mostly cuz... this castle ain't smellin' like my asshole."

Whoa! Blood-sucking rat! That's pretty frickin' awesome. "Hey, man, that rat's, like. Yeah, it's totally brutal. And uh. I think hot dogs are too, so, yeah, that kinda, uh, it works."

[brutal_metal]

((*is sad with nerdiness, because she's in the middle of drawing Hotdog the flesh-eating rat right now*))

Nathan was probably just cursed with a long line of shitty livers, even with transplants. Maybe he drank at the wrong times of day. "If you wander around in your tighty whities much more, it probably will," he pointed out helpfully.

"Of course hotdogs are brutal!" He punctuated his point by shaking the rat a little, and then putting the animal back on his shoulder. "He eats flesh. And other dead rats. And he bit Toki. He's totally metal."

[doodily_doo]

((HEE. Nerds have more fun anyway. Totally wants to be seeings thayt when you is done.))

Except Pickles drank at all times of the day, so. Wasn't one of them bound to be bad? Man, he didn't know. He just knew he didn't yarf up blood. Which would have been totally metal. If he did. ...New livers are metal, he was pretty sure. "Hey, douchebag, I ain't smellin' as bad as that asshole," he snapped instead, and automatically doubled back with, "And, uh, yeah, sorry about that douchebag thing - I ain't had nothin' to eat."

Apparently any sort of a euphemism for a cock was pretty damn brutal, in their eyes, but that was okay. "Dude, yeah, he's, like, he's totally metal now yeh." Only. Wait. "Hang on, uh. If he bit Toki, don't that. ...He ain't got those... die... dee.... dee-uh-beadies thing, do he?"

[brutal_metal]

((He has apparently mutated from eating dead rats and blood, because he has fangs and a rat-mohawk :D))

Nathan just rolled his eyes, more than used to random hissyfits. Hey, they were the most popular band where they came from, you had to get used to them. "Just order something from the... tiny chefs around here when you're voted." Except if they were all dead; Dethklok did seem to get a lot of chefs dying around them.

"Diabetes?" Nathan looked rather confused, but then he finally clicked onto what Pickles was saying. "Oh. Hm. I dunno. Doesn't, like... your dick turn green and fall off if you get it?"

[doodily_doo]

((HAHAH. Rat fangs/mohawks are totally brutal. As is mutating.))

Pickles couldn't really help himself. ...They were inevitable, really. And, you know, living by yourself with Murderface for long enough has to do something on a guy's sanity, especially one who hasn't ever really been too mentally stable in the first place. "Chefs, eh?" he asked with furrowed eyebrows, scratching at his head with the bottle again. "You mean they ain't dead? Or, yeh know. Hooked up to some kinda. Coma thing?"

Oh, shit. He never really thought of that. "Thought that was all them STD crap things that Skwisgaar's gettin' all the time? From, you know. Bangin' all the ladies. I dunno, man, I just, uh, yeah. I don't think Toki's gotta green dick."

[brutal_metal]

"Yeah, they're, like... these tiny dwarf things. And they beat themselves up." Which was, Nathan thought, one of the most metal things about this place - getting beaten just meant you were a pussy, beating yourself up, on the other hand, was pretty fucking brutal. "I don't... think they're dead. Or I dunno. I mean, they might be." Who knew. They looked weird enough.

Nathan had certainly heard enough about Skwisgaar's various STDs in the last week or so, and he was now haunted with an eternal fear of lobsters. "Toki had better not have diabetes. If he does, it'd better not screw up our music."

[doodily_doo]

"Oh, right, yeah, yeah," Pickles mumbled, nodding and idly swirling around the vodka in the bottle. "Yeh, Toki was all talkin' about them and some crap. They sound pretty, uh, pretty metal. Pretty awesome." He kept looking around the room, too, like he was expecting one to come bounding in or something. Dammit, he wanted to see the crazy dwarf things beat the crap out of themselves.

Being haunted by lobsters was pretty brutal too. All those pinchers. Llegh. "I, uh. I'm pretty, uh. Yeah, pretty sure he does, man. But, uh." He frowned, squinting an eye in thought. "Can we mix out second guitar, man? I dunno, that, uh. Not as easy to do as bass."

[brutal_metal]

"Not as metal as a zombie chef, but yeah... pretty fucking metal," Nathan agreed. He'd been told he shouldn't encourage them to beat themselves up, apparently it wasn't nice, but he was totally going to do it anyway.

Mixing out second guitar did sound pretty hard, as much as a perfectionist as Nathan was. "Hm. I guess. Maybe he can just play in post-production, when he's... like, cured, or something." Was there a cure for having your dick turn green and fall off? Nathan had no idea. "Anyway, which House do you want?" Hopefully Pickles picked a pack of pickled peppers Hufflepuff, because then all four of them could be there and create havoc.

[doodily_doo]

"Well, yeah, a'course, man, but, I mean, uh. Zombies are pretty fuckin' metal, dude, that's kinda hard to beat, it... it really is." Oh, Pickles fully intended to take full advantage of this beating thing. That sounded pretty damn cool. So screw you, Bones! XD

Yeah, he was pretty positive that deleting out Toki would... sound like crap. So. "Yeah, man, but, I mean, maybe he'll just use that, uh. That dildo he bought way back when. Which is, yeh know, green, so maybe not." It might remind him of his dick, after all. "Everyone's sayin' that, uh. Puffy house thing. You in it too? Cuz. Toki said yeh were, but." He trailed off, vaguely, choosing to take another large swig of vodka instead.

Vote: Hufflepuff

[brutal_metal]

Zombies were pretty damn metal. Nathan would have mentioned the cool zombie death-metal-voice chick, but if Pickles had already talked to Toki, then no doubt he'd mentioned it.

Ah, but there was a thought - Toki could just use a dildo as a replacement! It wouldn't be nearly as gratifying, but... eh, that wasn't Nathan's problem. It was Toki's fault if he caught diabetes. "Or he could just use a cucumber. Or... never have sex." But that was a fucking scary thought. "Oh, yeah... Hufflepuff. Pretty un-metal name, but yeah, I'm there too. We're gonna get a food store there, I think."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[doodily_doo]

Toki had mentioned zombies, but not Catelyn in specific, not really. The zombie mentioned in passing was just kind of cool enough as is.

"Ah, man, that's just..." Pickles shook his head, ruefully, as if he were disappointed in Nathan. "That's just plain-out mean, dude, I mean, wishin' no sex on a guy, it's... Yer kinda cruel, you know." A scary thought, that was. ...Hell, even having to use a cucumber was a scary thought. Diabetes was a freaky thing - Pickles was going to have to make sure he didn't catch it! "Ooh, yeah. Toki said, uh. Said somethin' about that. Food libraries, man."