Application: Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I don't eat cheese. Not after that creepy Cheese Guy I had in the room next to mine one time. I don't know what the hell his problem was.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney! I want to know who decided to let a purple dinosaur hang out with little kids all day. I mean, come on, don't you see what he's doing?! He's totally got an all you can eat buffet to himself.
3. What time is it where you are?
Drinking time! Lois, I'm going to the Clam with the guys!
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Hahahahahahaha. You said 'ass'!
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Hahahahaha, it's like the show Cheers.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Whoa, are you trying to say I'm gay?! Cause I'm not. I totally have some kids. Their names are Chris, Stewie, and....crap, what was the name of that other one? Brian? Yeaaah, that sounds familiar.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
If by 'paperwork' you mean hot naked ladies, and by 'disposed' you mean having sex with', then that is freakin' sweet!
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I made a water slide in the house!
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I'll give you my daughter, how's that? Meg, get over here! Howabout this, I'll throw in a free toaster.
In conjunction with posting your character's application, you must include the following statement, replacing the blanks with your initials (or your Net handle, or your character's initials, or anyone's initials!) after each sentence to indicate that you have read our rules and agree to abide by them:
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Peter
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Peter.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Peter (Hehehe, knickers).
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Peter"