opiate of the masses

[mr_vera]

Jayne had figured out pretty quickly that there wasn't much market for smuggling or shootin' stuff around these parts. But a man had to make a living somehow, and he figured Shepherd Book had a pretty cushy job. So with that in mind, he'd sent a letter off to someplace called The Universal Life Church and gotten himself ordained as a minister.

Comments

[hail_tothe_ash]

Ash, feeling entirely groovy, and in the mood for hunting down deadites paused when he saw the flyer. A Revered; a priest. And not one of those fuddy-duddy Mr. Fancypants from the sounds of things.

Might be a good idea to go and visit Reverend Jayne. See if he could bless the Boomstick, or was in the mood to shoot the undead.

"Groovy."

He wandered up to the empty classroom, and pushed the door open.

"Yo, Priesty. Let's rock."

[mr_vera]

The first thing Jayne noticed was the gun. "Holy crap, that is one hell of a firearm!" he said, taking his feet off the desk and sitting up straight. "What model is that?"

[hail_tothe_ash]

Ash grinned at Jayne's interest in the gun. Sales pitch time. (Meanwhile, the mun thinks the fact that the gun was noticed before the chainsaw attached to the stump is hilariously funny)

"This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department." He paused, letting the customer think about S-Mart's sporting goods. Oh yeah, baby. Hail to the king.

"This sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. You got that? Shop Smart. Shop S-Mart."

[mr_vera]

Jayne had never seen a chainsaw before, but he assumed it was some kind of weapon. It was impressive, but he was more excited about the gun. "That is a damn fine gun," he said in awe. "You mind if I have a look at it?"

[hail_tothe_ash]

"Well, Mr. Preacherman, I don't mind at all." Ash flicked the boomstick around so that the stock was pointing at Jayne, and offered it to the man. Ash likes a man who knows his guns.

"You got a mighty fine eye there, let me tell you. This baby, he done me good. 'Specially 'gainst hordes of the undead."

[mr_vera]

Jayne looked over the gun as if surveying a priceless work of art. "That is damn fine," he said again, sighting down the barrel. "I got me a fine gun too, but this is almost as good." Nothing could be better than Vera.

[hail_tothe_ash]

You've got Ash's curiousity now. The Boomstick is his pride and joy, but he's always curious to see new models. "You got yourself a groovy gun, Reverend? Care to show it to me? I got a hankerin' to see this baby."

[mr_vera]

"Yup. She's a Callahan full-bore auto lock with customized trigger double cartridge thorough gauge. I call her Vera." Jayne spoke her name with the love and reverence that was due such a splendid firearm. "She's back in the Gryffindor dorm. I thought she'd be a mite off-puttin' what with all this Reverend stuff. I do got one o' these, though." Jayne took out the duelling pistol and displayed it proudly. "Got her at a Sortin'. She's an antique."

[hail_tothe_ash]

"Oh, this is real nice, right here. Definite antique." Ash is almost drooling. "Single shot, yeah?"

He paused and really looked at the pistol. "So, you new to this whole Reverend thing? And what kinda church lets you shoot stuff, because baby, sign me up."

[mr_vera]

"Yeah, 'cos a single shot's all you got in a duel." Unfortunately, Jayne didn't have any more bullets with him, otherwise he would've shot up the blackboard a few more times. "This church ain't got no rules far as I can tell. You should sign up, make yourself some extra cash."