Application - Dr.Citan Uzuki (Xenogears)
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"I, er... Well what an odd question to start out with." Citan tilted his head forward and brought two fingers to his chin; bending one, cupping it. "Though I suppose that is part of your test, isn't it? Well if I had to choose I suppose I like a sharp cheddar the best, though i'm curious what type of information you could derive from my answer."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Kill? What for? I abhor killing. Is it really necessary in their cases?" He sighed. This was quickly becoming queer. "Well I suppose Barney, being the dinosaur of the pair, would pose the most imminent threat. He seems rather tame and docile but that aside it'd be hard to overlook his race, so some type of restraint might be in order. Though at the same time you might want to prepare a second restraint for Carrottop; he's been looking rather odd lately and it may very well be for his own good. And ours as well."
3. What time is it where you are?
"Actually my watch just broke down this morning, and I don't think I brought the right spare parts from my home with me. It's such a pain, but that's what happens with machinery sometimes. And the second part of that question confuses me; 'where I am'? Am I to believe you're in an alternate time zone? If so I don't believe my watch would of been correct anyway, so I suppose I was destined to be incorrect on this one."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I... what?!" Citan reached up to fix his glasses on his nose, confused by the question. He glanced left, then right. "I...am in Hogwarts, correct? What kind of entrance exam is this? I've heard so much about this school." Perhaps it is just some silly form of hazing? "I would do no such thing!" What is this 'Order of the Phoenix' mentioned? Some sort of secretive group it would seem. That's something I must look into as soon as possible.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Well my kitchen would be the closest thing to a bar that I frequent, and even then Yui, my wife, heavily requests I don't." He laughed at himself embarrasedly and fixed his glasses again. "I really haven't experimented much in the kitchen truth be told. Though if you've a question on anything else I can most likely help."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Anything else, except for that. What is... aren't these a little inappropriate?" Citan rolled his eyes and brought a palm to his forehead. "Oh I don't know. I suppose all three could have a grand time together if that thing is your fancy. The Greek Gods and Goddesses themselves not only would not be restricted by monogamy, but would go as far as to include farm animals into the mix. Which sounds right up this inappropriate alley. So why should this 'Harry' be held to any higher standard?"
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Ah! Well finally a more intelligent question. But I suspect this is all an act of reverse psychology, and I should instead give a silly answer?" Citan tapped his forehead, then brought his hand back down to his side. This really hadn't been what he'd expected. "Well I suppose it's due to the fact that you're simply not finishing with the paperwork quickly enough. To remedy that, I could assist in building a machine that would remove the paperwork at a steady rate from your own desk and deposit it onto you neighbor's, thus relieving you of the guilt of any paperwork awaiting your attention. How is that?"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"Prove I am not useless? Well, I am a Doctor, for one. Of medicine that is. I used to have my own small clinic out of my home, but that was not my only ability. I'm quite read in various things of the world, my inquisitive mind adding to that every time I get the opportunity. I've been experimenting and have developed a talent with machinery over the years. Also my body is trained in the ways of martial arts with fist, foot and sword. Oh, and I also held a rather important position in an elite unit of my home country's military for some time." Citan reached up to tap his chin again, thinking. "Is that enough to provide some use?"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"A bribe that does not belong to me? Hm. Very well. Not only do I not wish the current members of this school to squib me, but to whomever gives me the highest recommendation I will personally give ownership of the pirate airship Yggdrasil." Citan grinned. I hope Sigurd doesn't catch wind of that.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Dr.Uzuki__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Dr.Uzuki__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Dr.Uzuki__.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __Dr.Uzuki__"
"I, er... Well what an odd question to start out with." Citan tilted his head forward and brought two fingers to his chin; bending one, cupping it. "Though I suppose that is part of your test, isn't it? Well if I had to choose I suppose I like a sharp cheddar the best, though i'm curious what type of information you could derive from my answer."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Kill? What for? I abhor killing. Is it really necessary in their cases?" He sighed. This was quickly becoming queer. "Well I suppose Barney, being the dinosaur of the pair, would pose the most imminent threat. He seems rather tame and docile but that aside it'd be hard to overlook his race, so some type of restraint might be in order. Though at the same time you might want to prepare a second restraint for Carrottop; he's been looking rather odd lately and it may very well be for his own good. And ours as well."
3. What time is it where you are?
"Actually my watch just broke down this morning, and I don't think I brought the right spare parts from my home with me. It's such a pain, but that's what happens with machinery sometimes. And the second part of that question confuses me; 'where I am'? Am I to believe you're in an alternate time zone? If so I don't believe my watch would of been correct anyway, so I suppose I was destined to be incorrect on this one."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I... what?!" Citan reached up to fix his glasses on his nose, confused by the question. He glanced left, then right. "I...am in Hogwarts, correct? What kind of entrance exam is this? I've heard so much about this school." Perhaps it is just some silly form of hazing? "I would do no such thing!" What is this 'Order of the Phoenix' mentioned? Some sort of secretive group it would seem. That's something I must look into as soon as possible.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Well my kitchen would be the closest thing to a bar that I frequent, and even then Yui, my wife, heavily requests I don't." He laughed at himself embarrasedly and fixed his glasses again. "I really haven't experimented much in the kitchen truth be told. Though if you've a question on anything else I can most likely help."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Anything else, except for that. What is... aren't these a little inappropriate?" Citan rolled his eyes and brought a palm to his forehead. "Oh I don't know. I suppose all three could have a grand time together if that thing is your fancy. The Greek Gods and Goddesses themselves not only would not be restricted by monogamy, but would go as far as to include farm animals into the mix. Which sounds right up this inappropriate alley. So why should this 'Harry' be held to any higher standard?"
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Ah! Well finally a more intelligent question. But I suspect this is all an act of reverse psychology, and I should instead give a silly answer?" Citan tapped his forehead, then brought his hand back down to his side. This really hadn't been what he'd expected. "Well I suppose it's due to the fact that you're simply not finishing with the paperwork quickly enough. To remedy that, I could assist in building a machine that would remove the paperwork at a steady rate from your own desk and deposit it onto you neighbor's, thus relieving you of the guilt of any paperwork awaiting your attention. How is that?"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"Prove I am not useless? Well, I am a Doctor, for one. Of medicine that is. I used to have my own small clinic out of my home, but that was not my only ability. I'm quite read in various things of the world, my inquisitive mind adding to that every time I get the opportunity. I've been experimenting and have developed a talent with machinery over the years. Also my body is trained in the ways of martial arts with fist, foot and sword. Oh, and I also held a rather important position in an elite unit of my home country's military for some time." Citan reached up to tap his chin again, thinking. "Is that enough to provide some use?"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"A bribe that does not belong to me? Hm. Very well. Not only do I not wish the current members of this school to squib me, but to whomever gives me the highest recommendation I will personally give ownership of the pirate airship Yggdrasil." Citan grinned. I hope Sigurd doesn't catch wind of that.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Dr.Uzuki__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Dr.Uzuki__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Dr.Uzuki__.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __Dr.Uzuki__"