November the 9th
I found out today that sometimes in order to help somebody and maybe even yourself you have to learn when to walk away even if you don't want to. I was beginning to love the way my life was going, but there are times in every person's life when they just have to start thinking of what's best for everyone. I really love Cate and I'm happy with the fact that we will always be friends(I hope....it would be nice not to lose touch with someone), but I read her journal and I realize that she is soooo much happier with Kyle as her boyfriend and me as her friend not the other way around and I'm totally fine with that....in fact ironically I wish it could be that way again. I like Kyle he is a good kid and yes they went through some hard times, but its the hard times that make the good times so much sweeter. At first I thought that I could make her forget him and stay with me and be happy, but as time goes on I realize that they are meant to be together as soon as they both realize that. I love Cate and I will always love Cate, but I she doesn't love me she loves him and I don't want to be in the middle of that. These last few weeks has just made me respect both of them so much more. If Cate wants to be with me I just want it to be because its what she really wants to and if she wants to be with Kyle then I wish them the best of luck. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I'll find out where everything stands tomorrow. I'm going to be fine no matter which way she feels about it...I just want me and her to be on the same page is all and as long as she still counts me as a friend I'll be happy. I'm gonna go have another cancer stick then I'm gonna vege and go to bed. Night all.
Hogarth out!
Hogarth out!