*Happy Valentine's Day*
when your home sick, for the millionth day, because your body decides not to get better, you tend to have a lot of time to think about things. Considering you are by yourself always doing nothing. I don't think thats its fair to judge people before you really know them, yet when they judge you and tie you in with a group of people and think your all the same is that fair either? Now i have my own opinions and i shouldnt try to influence them onto others, for that im sorry. It sucks when you feel like your going to lose a friendship, when no matter how much they tell you nothing is going to change you have a good feeling it will. i understand you will always be there for me but is it vice versa, will you still come to me with things? I really dont think I have tried so hard to keep a friendship, just because its that important to me. We have separate lives but we've been through so much to keep a friendship when others tried to ruin it, and i dont think that it should be ruined now. I have been able to strengthen other friendships along the way however, and im thankful for that and i appreciate having you there as well. I am however, done listening to others, because the choices i make need to be only influenced by myself. Others ideas tend to come into play at the wrong times and i say things that arent fair, and i've done that more then once. I guess i put people into positions that they don't deserve to be in, or be penalized for. I'll try really hard to be more open and move on with my life. I hate being selfish, jealous, viewed as untrustworthy but then again i hate how some people think up me, like stuck up, rude, full of myself..and everything else...theres some that hopefully know me well enough, know why i say some things, and know what i mean by them..thanks for that. We are all old enough to start making our own choices, and no one needs to be montitored or i shouldnt be responsible for watching someone, because its part of life, the decisions you make, if you make the wrong ones the only thing that can be done is learn from it. Learn that thats not how you want your life to turn out, I learned i dont want to be the person that doesnt have enough repsect for themselves to say no, to an assortment of things. The person i thought i should be, in reality was the person i never want to end up being. I think i'm starting to learn who i am, what standards i hold and what morals i have. I really can't wait until this weekend, hopefully it will be fun and a place to escape from at least my home. Well i'm going to go sleep, start packing, and i'm determined to be at school tomorrow. I kinda wish i was at school for valentine's day, but in a way i don't, sorry nicole you'll still be my valentine ;)