(no subject)
holy shit.
Last night I talked to Laura, and had a really good conversation with her about random things. It was so much fun to relive my past and see how much of a fuckin fool I really made of myself.
Tonight I had some other really good conversations with Ashley, Ralph and Tommy. I don't know what it is but it seems like I am just letting everything out there to different people that I would trust my life with. I mean just realizing everything for once. Realizing what it was that I had..what it was that I lost..what it will be if I moved to Michigan. I guess I never really thought about it that way, and when someone tells me that the passed up a chance to move to the one place tht they love more than anything because of me, that just makes me feel like shit to know that I just went and screwed them over like I did.
k a e l i 017: I don't understand though Tommy, you had so many chances to with someone else..why me? why the one that would just go and screw you over? I mean I don't know what it was that I did because I know myself that I have a commitment problem, and right now, I honestly don't know what to tell people when they like me because honestly, I am afraid, the one person that I didn't screw over screwed me over
k a e l i 017: and I am really sorry that it happened to you, honestly, just went it comes to things like that, I just get this mental block that makes me think that I am not good enough for someone or that I don't deserve to be with them..I don't know, so I just don't show emotions around other people because I am just scared that they will think the same thing
I don't know what to say to anything anymore. I have just put up this mental block and I can't break it down. I don't know what I need to do to build some of the things that I lack, it just seems like every time that I try to, it only makes it worse. I wish life wasn't so complicated!
wow, I definitally sound worthless!
Last night I talked to Laura, and had a really good conversation with her about random things. It was so much fun to relive my past and see how much of a fuckin fool I really made of myself.
Tonight I had some other really good conversations with Ashley, Ralph and Tommy. I don't know what it is but it seems like I am just letting everything out there to different people that I would trust my life with. I mean just realizing everything for once. Realizing what it was that I had..what it was that I lost..what it will be if I moved to Michigan. I guess I never really thought about it that way, and when someone tells me that the passed up a chance to move to the one place tht they love more than anything because of me, that just makes me feel like shit to know that I just went and screwed them over like I did.
k a e l i 017: I don't understand though Tommy, you had so many chances to with someone else..why me? why the one that would just go and screw you over? I mean I don't know what it was that I did because I know myself that I have a commitment problem, and right now, I honestly don't know what to tell people when they like me because honestly, I am afraid, the one person that I didn't screw over screwed me over
k a e l i 017: and I am really sorry that it happened to you, honestly, just went it comes to things like that, I just get this mental block that makes me think that I am not good enough for someone or that I don't deserve to be with them..I don't know, so I just don't show emotions around other people because I am just scared that they will think the same thing
I don't know what to say to anything anymore. I have just put up this mental block and I can't break it down. I don't know what I need to do to build some of the things that I lack, it just seems like every time that I try to, it only makes it worse. I wish life wasn't so complicated!
wow, I definitally sound worthless!