Frozen Hotdogs
For some reason, while I was working on a problem at work today, I thought about frozen hotdogs. Then I remembered this one show my old band played many years ago. It was probably in 1998 or before that. I’m not sure. Anyhow, Pants had a tendency to get an idea in his head a not let go of it. One example would be his idea to have gigantic raw meat balls loaded with M-80’s that would explode during the climax of a particular song. That idea never came to pass, but the one with frozen hotdogs did. He had the idea to build a belt out of frozen hot dogs. Ya, know kind of like bullet belts that all the metal dudes wore in the 80’s?
So, he set about buying about 10 packs of frozen hotdogs. Before the gig we all sat around the rehearsal studio popping the hotdogs out of their packages. After about 5 packages your hands start to get really cold. I thought he had some kind of metal rig to skewer the dogs and hold them in place. Now, I guess engineering is not Pants strong suit because the only thing he showed up with besides the hotdogs was a roll of duct tape. Duct tape does not really do an effective job of sticking to frozen hotdogs, or even non frozen and slightly thawed hotdogs. I think we managed to rig up something involving a guitar strap and, duct tape and some guitar strings, but it didn’t quite work the way Pants had imagined it. During the course of the gig the hot dogs were falling off, as you might imagine. Pretty soon he took to catching the dogs ad they were about to fall off and flung them into the audience. The crowd seemed to dig it, and played along catching the hotdogs and some brave folks even eating them. The fun turned sour however, when Pants’ aim was left lacking and belted a waitress across the forehead with a well placed frankfurter. She was reportedly incensed. I was up on stage, so I’m only going off of what I was told but she apparently grabbed the owner of the place and demanded that he yank us off stage right then and there. He didn’t comply and let us finish out our set. Through out the remainder of the night, the other bands played with one single half full glass of beer with a hotdog sticking out of it sitting stage center. Apparently everyone in the club hated that waitress and thought that her getting hit with a hotdog was the best thing ever. I have many more stories like this.
So, he set about buying about 10 packs of frozen hotdogs. Before the gig we all sat around the rehearsal studio popping the hotdogs out of their packages. After about 5 packages your hands start to get really cold. I thought he had some kind of metal rig to skewer the dogs and hold them in place. Now, I guess engineering is not Pants strong suit because the only thing he showed up with besides the hotdogs was a roll of duct tape. Duct tape does not really do an effective job of sticking to frozen hotdogs, or even non frozen and slightly thawed hotdogs. I think we managed to rig up something involving a guitar strap and, duct tape and some guitar strings, but it didn’t quite work the way Pants had imagined it. During the course of the gig the hot dogs were falling off, as you might imagine. Pretty soon he took to catching the dogs ad they were about to fall off and flung them into the audience. The crowd seemed to dig it, and played along catching the hotdogs and some brave folks even eating them. The fun turned sour however, when Pants’ aim was left lacking and belted a waitress across the forehead with a well placed frankfurter. She was reportedly incensed. I was up on stage, so I’m only going off of what I was told but she apparently grabbed the owner of the place and demanded that he yank us off stage right then and there. He didn’t comply and let us finish out our set. Through out the remainder of the night, the other bands played with one single half full glass of beer with a hotdog sticking out of it sitting stage center. Apparently everyone in the club hated that waitress and thought that her getting hit with a hotdog was the best thing ever. I have many more stories like this.