Spare a donut?
Went out to get donuts this evening, saw I had a flat.
The Saturn doesn't come with a spare tire, so I grab the can of Fixaflat out of my breakdown kit. Follow the directions "remove puncturing object if possible." Okay, I can see the nail. Go back in house, grab the pliers, go back outside, and pull the nail out. I attach the nozzle, press the button, and SPLUT the gooey contents spray out from under the nozzle head all over my bare legs, hands, and the outside of the tire.
Status: covered in stinky latex-y goo and have NO DONUTS.
Wipe off, haul the assorted WWI equipment, uniform, and other gear out of the back of the Saturn. Get the expensive proprietary Saturn flat-fix/compressor out from under the cover in the back. Read instructions: "Do NOT remove any embedded objects from tire." (face palm) Oh well.
Hook everything up, mutter profanity, and hit the switch. Little compressor roars to life, pegging the pressure gauge at 90psi. Manual states "gauge may overstate tire pressure." Hmm, just a bit. Gauge is useless, so I have to eyeball it.
Status: the tire is holding air (kinda) and NO DONUTS
Now I have to drive around for 15 minutes to make sure everything is sealed. Start the engine, fuel light comes on. It's a hybrid, so I've got another 50 miles. No worries. Orbit Issaquah for a while, head to Krispy Kreme. In the parking lot, check the tire. Looks low, but it's not hissing anymore.
It is now 9pm, and Krispy Kreme is now closed. Aha! But the drive thru is open. Wait my turn, order my dozen, with my particular favorite, chocolate old fashioned. I'm not a big fan of the original KK donuts.
Status: tire at acceptable efficiency, now HAVE DONUTS.
Head home. Weird noises are coming from the back. And the battery light comes on. %#*^€£! Pull into the nearest parking lot--the one with the bar and the sex shop. Whatever. Grab my wallet and phone, and pop the back. Looks like the big honking hybrid battery needs the panels adjusted for airflow. Fine, put everything back where it belongs.
Car pulls into the lot, parks right next to me, despite there being 10 other spots closer to the bar. I slam the back down, get in the car. Don't bother to see which place the two guys go into. Start the engine, battery light is off, but the Check Engine light is on, as well as the Lift Gate warning light.
Stop the engine, get out pop the back, slam it again, get back in the car. Start engine. Lift Gate light still on. Shut off engine get back out. See problem--my wallet is stuck between the lift gate and the bumper. Open gate, retrieve wallet, slam gate, get back in car, pull out of parking lot.
Try to get donut to soothe my frustration. Box won't open. Turn it around, try again, box still won't open. Fuck it. I'm not getting into a crash fighting with a damn donut box.
Get home, give V the donuts, and I go wash up. Grab some tea, open the donut box.
Sumbitch Krispy Kreme a$$hat gave me the wrong donuts. No chocolate old fashioned joy for me, but chocolate coated originals. I HATE CHOCOLATE COATED KK ORIGINALS.
I'm going to bed.
If my tire is flat when I go to work in the morning, I'm going to rip off the flat and see if I can use one of the chocolate KK originals as a spare.
The Saturn doesn't come with a spare tire, so I grab the can of Fixaflat out of my breakdown kit. Follow the directions "remove puncturing object if possible." Okay, I can see the nail. Go back in house, grab the pliers, go back outside, and pull the nail out. I attach the nozzle, press the button, and SPLUT the gooey contents spray out from under the nozzle head all over my bare legs, hands, and the outside of the tire.
Status: covered in stinky latex-y goo and have NO DONUTS.
Wipe off, haul the assorted WWI equipment, uniform, and other gear out of the back of the Saturn. Get the expensive proprietary Saturn flat-fix/compressor out from under the cover in the back. Read instructions: "Do NOT remove any embedded objects from tire." (face palm) Oh well.
Hook everything up, mutter profanity, and hit the switch. Little compressor roars to life, pegging the pressure gauge at 90psi. Manual states "gauge may overstate tire pressure." Hmm, just a bit. Gauge is useless, so I have to eyeball it.
Status: the tire is holding air (kinda) and NO DONUTS
Now I have to drive around for 15 minutes to make sure everything is sealed. Start the engine, fuel light comes on. It's a hybrid, so I've got another 50 miles. No worries. Orbit Issaquah for a while, head to Krispy Kreme. In the parking lot, check the tire. Looks low, but it's not hissing anymore.
It is now 9pm, and Krispy Kreme is now closed. Aha! But the drive thru is open. Wait my turn, order my dozen, with my particular favorite, chocolate old fashioned. I'm not a big fan of the original KK donuts.
Status: tire at acceptable efficiency, now HAVE DONUTS.
Head home. Weird noises are coming from the back. And the battery light comes on. %#*^€£! Pull into the nearest parking lot--the one with the bar and the sex shop. Whatever. Grab my wallet and phone, and pop the back. Looks like the big honking hybrid battery needs the panels adjusted for airflow. Fine, put everything back where it belongs.
Car pulls into the lot, parks right next to me, despite there being 10 other spots closer to the bar. I slam the back down, get in the car. Don't bother to see which place the two guys go into. Start the engine, battery light is off, but the Check Engine light is on, as well as the Lift Gate warning light.
Stop the engine, get out pop the back, slam it again, get back in the car. Start engine. Lift Gate light still on. Shut off engine get back out. See problem--my wallet is stuck between the lift gate and the bumper. Open gate, retrieve wallet, slam gate, get back in car, pull out of parking lot.
Try to get donut to soothe my frustration. Box won't open. Turn it around, try again, box still won't open. Fuck it. I'm not getting into a crash fighting with a damn donut box.
Get home, give V the donuts, and I go wash up. Grab some tea, open the donut box.
Sumbitch Krispy Kreme a$$hat gave me the wrong donuts. No chocolate old fashioned joy for me, but chocolate coated originals. I HATE CHOCOLATE COATED KK ORIGINALS.
I'm going to bed.
If my tire is flat when I go to work in the morning, I'm going to rip off the flat and see if I can use one of the chocolate KK originals as a spare.