my suzy
i feel gulity for complaining about things that do, or don't happen to me. when you fucking see the shit i see every day it really gives you an eye opening experience...no offense but your life doesn't suck until you're a perfectly healthy 30 year old woman and you're diagnosed with kidney and liver failure. your life doesn't suck until you are shot while doing your job, and you lose all feeling from the neck down. your life doesn't suck until you are married to the same person for 70 YEARS, you both have dementia and you don't even understand or comprehend your husband is dying....and then he dies on christmas morning, and you still don't understand where he is. your life doesn't suck until your mom goes to the doctors with a headache and the next afternoon drops dead, leaving you to care for your mentally retarded baby brother. your life doesn't suck until you have to have someone wipe your butt because you cannot do it yourself. your life sucks when you have to wait for someone to come over in the morning to get you out of bed. your life sucks when your chemo doesn't work. your life sucks when your parents don't want you because of your disability. your life sucks when you have not one single person but your social worker who cares about your well being.
i know these all sound extreme but spend a day in the life of someone who works with people like this, or someone who is like this and you'll begin to see it's a lot more common than you think. don't get me wrong, there are days when i hate everything and think my life sucks but then i remember all of the things i've learned, and all of the people i've met who's lives are a lot worse than me overdrawing my account, or fighting with my friends, or not getting the boy i wanted...whatever it is, it's not really THAT BAD. does it make me feel better to complain? sure, but i am finding i'd rather waste that time i spend complaining on things that are going to actually mean something.
a very VERY very special person to me passed away on saturday and i'm completley heart broken but at the same time she has influcenced my life so much that instead of being upset, i am THANKFUL AS FUCKING SHIT i had the chance to know her. i loved her when she was alive, i cried and was really fucking angry she died but loved her for that, and i will love her until my heart stops beating.
life is seriously all about being thankful, and i'm sorry if you choose to live your life being miserable. don't bring me down because you are unhappy with how your life is. shit fucking happens, and you can either a. take everything thrown at you and see the good in it, or b. let it consume you and bring you down. FUCK THAT. i live my life the way i do because i want to be able to know that i did what i wanted when i had the chance, i want to know that if some life altering thing happens to me tomorrow i am completley content with what i have done so far. will i wish i did more? probably...but i'll be content. i want to know that if i die tomorrow, i was happy.
i am no where near perfect but i am happy, i am thankful, and i am alive.
i know these all sound extreme but spend a day in the life of someone who works with people like this, or someone who is like this and you'll begin to see it's a lot more common than you think. don't get me wrong, there are days when i hate everything and think my life sucks but then i remember all of the things i've learned, and all of the people i've met who's lives are a lot worse than me overdrawing my account, or fighting with my friends, or not getting the boy i wanted...whatever it is, it's not really THAT BAD. does it make me feel better to complain? sure, but i am finding i'd rather waste that time i spend complaining on things that are going to actually mean something.
a very VERY very special person to me passed away on saturday and i'm completley heart broken but at the same time she has influcenced my life so much that instead of being upset, i am THANKFUL AS FUCKING SHIT i had the chance to know her. i loved her when she was alive, i cried and was really fucking angry she died but loved her for that, and i will love her until my heart stops beating.
life is seriously all about being thankful, and i'm sorry if you choose to live your life being miserable. don't bring me down because you are unhappy with how your life is. shit fucking happens, and you can either a. take everything thrown at you and see the good in it, or b. let it consume you and bring you down. FUCK THAT. i live my life the way i do because i want to be able to know that i did what i wanted when i had the chance, i want to know that if some life altering thing happens to me tomorrow i am completley content with what i have done so far. will i wish i did more? probably...but i'll be content. i want to know that if i die tomorrow, i was happy.
i am no where near perfect but i am happy, i am thankful, and i am alive.