(no subject)
god damn. things are so fucking confusing. I've been out of whack for way too long for it to be normal. I've been pissy at damn near everything. I've got this constant empty feeling inside, like nothing means anything anymore. Like there is no point or purpose to anything i say or do. Nothing seems to hold my interest anymore. I can't sit through an episode of CSI anymore, and not because it's too boring or too disgusting. I just lose interest. I haven't picked up a video game in nearly a year. At most, I've been able to play CS for 10-20 minutes before losing interest (now some of you may think nothing of this, but those who've known me long enough it's odd). If I'm reading a book, i read maybe two sentences before I lose interest. The only person who i don't lose interest in (and i suppose keeps me sane and stops me from lashing out) is Missie. I love her. More than anything i love her. And thats why all this is so fucking confusing. I love her. and I know I love her, but despite that, I have this feeling inside like there should be something there, but whatever it is, it isn't there. Even when I'm with Missie, the feeling is still there, even though it shouldn't be. I mean, I'm happy around Missie, but the feeling is still there. I DO love her, but the feeling is still there, and it makes no fucking sense to me. I love her, and I don't want to lose her.
-Mike
-Mike