Bump. Set. Spike.
As is more often than not the norm, I've been thinking about creatures from my past. I'm not sure if it's the situation at hand, or just the normal curiosity of human nature. But I started wondering about Ben Spike, a boyfriend from Iowa with whom I had some of my more memorable times, hanging out with him and his friends. I heard earlier this year from one of his friends that he got sucked into the WoW existence, which is too bad. I think I more or less didn't do right by Ben, and I regret that. I'm sure I got tired of him, like others before, but I hope in general that I didn't completely fuck up his life. Our "song" was I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever) by Stevie Wonder. I suppose the irony in this post is that song's presence in the movie High Fidelity, and how parallel this post is to John Cusack's curiosity about past relationships and where they all went wrong. As it were, I did love Ben, but it didn't last. Maybe it was his depression, or maybe it was my unquenchable desire for a happier, Hollywood fairytale. Either way, I think he got the raw end of the deal.
I met his mom once; we didn't get on. She lived in Nebraska, and I think it was probably better that we hadn't spent more time together. His dad I think wasn't fond of me either, though his Russian wife was nice enough. We trespassed, we got lost in cornfields (highly underrated, by the way), we got free pizza from Pizza Hut (highly overrated, in contrast). For those it relates to, he's the one who made me realize I actually did want to give Carrion Fields Immdom another shot (as Iunna). And now, made me realize how unimpressed I am with my husband's friends (as opposed to Ben's cool ones).
Last summer Paco and I stopped in Ames on our way back from Kansas City. I wanted to take him to Hickory Park, and even managed to find the place. I think of all my emotions, nostalgia is probably always one of my strongest (if that can be considered one). And yet even while I was there in town, I fervently hoped not to run into Ben, though I had no idea if he'd still be living in the area. I think Hickory Park was my excuse to stop, to reminisce, to wonder shamelessly what my life would have been like if I had moved there. Unsatisfied, likely. Though I wonder how different that would be from my current situation. Of course, how much cooler would I have sounded with a last name like Spike?
I met his mom once; we didn't get on. She lived in Nebraska, and I think it was probably better that we hadn't spent more time together. His dad I think wasn't fond of me either, though his Russian wife was nice enough. We trespassed, we got lost in cornfields (highly underrated, by the way), we got free pizza from Pizza Hut (highly overrated, in contrast). For those it relates to, he's the one who made me realize I actually did want to give Carrion Fields Immdom another shot (as Iunna). And now, made me realize how unimpressed I am with my husband's friends (as opposed to Ben's cool ones).
Last summer Paco and I stopped in Ames on our way back from Kansas City. I wanted to take him to Hickory Park, and even managed to find the place. I think of all my emotions, nostalgia is probably always one of my strongest (if that can be considered one). And yet even while I was there in town, I fervently hoped not to run into Ben, though I had no idea if he'd still be living in the area. I think Hickory Park was my excuse to stop, to reminisce, to wonder shamelessly what my life would have been like if I had moved there. Unsatisfied, likely. Though I wonder how different that would be from my current situation. Of course, how much cooler would I have sounded with a last name like Spike?