*snickers*
The President was scheduled to visit an Episcopal Church outside
Washington one Sunday. Several days beforehand, Karl Rove visited the
Priest of that church and said, "Let me be perfectly frank. We've been
getting a lot of bad publicity among Episcopalians because of the war
in Iraq, our position on stem cell research, corruption in Congress
and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to your church of
$100,000 if during your sermon you'll say publicly that the President
is a saint."
The Priest thought it over for a few moments, and finally said, "The
words of my sermon are not usually for sale, but our parish really
needs the money. I don't have to like it ... but I'll do it."
Rove smirked, said, "Everyone has a price, Father," and wrote the
Priest a check on the spot.
The following Sunday, Bush and his entourage showed up at church as
scheduled, with the President looking especially smug. After the
gospel lesson, the Priest stood up to begin his sermon, saying as
follows: "George W. Bush is petty, a self-absorbed hypocrite and a
nitwit. Moreover, he is a liar, a cheat, and a weasel. He has lied
about his military record and then had the gall to put himself in a
jet plane landing on a carrier deck, before posing under a banner
stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He invaded a country for oil and
money, and what's worse, to overcome his feelings of inadequacy toward
his father. He has continually used the office that he acquired by
dishonest means to lie to the American people and to the world. He is,
without a doubt, the worst example of a Christian I've ever been so
unfortunate as to encounter. But compared to Dick Cheney, the rest of
his Cabinet, and his Republican fellow-criminals in Congress, George
Bush is a saint!"