why do all of you, minus kristin, have the impression that i haven't considered or that i think i'm too good for in-state schools? i definitely have looked at ALL of my options. UNCG is great, and if i had to stay in-state then that is where i would want to be. the other programs we have in NC for music performance just don't measure up to those that i can find out of state (in places like nyc, pittsburg, cinci, boston, etc..) just because i set my sights high doesn't mean that i look down on my not-so-well-known options. the fact is, i've got big dreams, and i know i'm not alone there because mle and i have talked about our aspirations before. not that it's where i'll end up, but i've never seen a person in a playbill who went to a school that nobody's heard of. like doyle tells us, people from carnegie mellon, ccm, and other such schools have jobs lined up before they even graduate. (to mle) believe me, i know how far away 2 hrs is and it's not far enough...my sister comes home almost every weekend from carolina, and if it's not unreasonable to think about coming home that often, then it's not far enough away. and ya'll, the car thing was such a minor aspect of this post...it's a really BIG maybe that i'm going to get a new car anytime soon, but it is possible. anyways, money that i make and spend/save how i choose, i wouldn't be allowed to use for college. my parents have already told me that any money i make i need to save for personal expenses so they can stop paying for things like that and any that i don't spend will quickly stack up in my favor...they will find a way to pay for college...PLUS if i get into nyu or somewhere else in nyc, then i won't need a car and they can sell one of ours to help themselves out or to put toward college! i'm kind of annoyed that almost everytime i post an update or something i end up having to spend all my time defending myself rather than reading encouraging replys..
i think that it would be great for you to go to any college in the US. i didn't say that i thought that you thought you were too good for an in state college. All that i am saying, is don't get all caught up in the hype of going somewhere big like new york, just to be dragged down if it doesn't happen.
i want to be encouraging and i want to be your friend. i told you that i want us to be friends again. i want things to finally work between us. for things not to be uncomfortable. i want things to be different this coming year, your senior year, than they have been since last october. despite how it may seem, i'm not trying to make you miserable or tell you that you're a failure. i'm also sorry that every time i speak my mind i seem to be saying something that upsets you, like i said that's not my goal.
and i'll say again. like i did before. good luck with whatever comes your way.
you know what. i can't believe i actually...AH! i am not going to give encouragement to every single post that you want pity on. if i did that, you would be depressed. thats what i did to my sister, and it makes me so angry when i have to watch her mope around because she believes her life is miserable. i won't have any part in letting that happen to you. i have yet to hear something that is actually positive in your life. why dont' you focus on that? being happy is not that bad. and maybe i'm pushing for NC colleges because maybe I dont' want you to go so far away? maybe i'd like to see you a couple times....you know? considering we are friends? and maybe i'm just trying to be a bit conversational and reasonable in trying to point out other point of views and ENCOURAGING you to look at all your options so you will be the happiest. i did not once say stop looking at out of state schools did i? I DON'T WANT YOU TO GIVE UP YOUR DREAMS! i just want you to look at all of them carefully! so that you will be happy. if you think for one minute i would purposely discourage you in a bad way....then our friendship is a waste. if i started telling you to drop out of school, your never going to make it, i can't believe you think you will ever be anything! then you might have the right to be pissed at me. but personally, as your friend. i think your going to be fine if you work hard, consider all options, and not set yourself to others standards, but create standards of your own. so lets say you don't get in somewhere out of state...and end up going to app or gyc. lets say after college you don't have a job lined up because no one has heard of your school. well so what? maybe that just means you have to work your ass off to get the job you want, and just maybe then you can be proud of that accomplishment, instead of wanting something better. maybe if you went to cornell, or julliard, a job would be waiting for you when your done...but have you ever stopped to ask yourself that even if thats a great job...if you had worked to find one yourself, it could have been better? i had no intention of pissing you off, discouraging you, or forcing you to defend yourself. i apologize. now, its your turn to apologize to me. you threw my advice into my face, called me a bad friend, and told me i was ignorant. you don't have to listen to my advice, but don't throw it in my face, i'm not a bad friend (i'm a pretty damn good one in fact) and i am not ignorant, no matter how much you wish me to be. mle
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i want to be encouraging and i want to be your friend. i told you that i want us to be friends again. i want things to finally work between us. for things not to be uncomfortable. i want things to be different this coming year, your senior year, than they have been since last october. despite how it may seem, i'm not trying to make you miserable or tell you that you're a failure. i'm also sorry that every time i speak my mind i seem to be saying something that upsets you, like i said that's not my goal.
and i'll say again. like i did before.
good luck with whatever comes your way.
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mle
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