"Careful" - Part Three
Title: Careful
Author: TG
Rating: PG
Written: 20 March 2004
Pairing: Sam/Frodo
Summary: Sam and Frodo try deal with everything in their own little secluded ways...
Disclaimer: Obviously, these hobbits are not mine, because if they were, this would have really happened, which it didn't.
And in case you didn't read them, or just need to reread them:
Part One
Part Two
Walking down the hill I curse my own stupidity all the way home.
I'm not sure what I should have done, but it definitely can't have been that. I feel bad for feeling the way I do, for letting that happen, even for knocking over the ink bottle and not cleaning it up - but most of all, I feel bad for leaving you like that.
All I know is that I panicked. I let it happen and went along with it, and at the first chance I ended it. Ended it way too soon for my liking, but much too late for it not to have hurt.
That look in your eyes, that sound in your voice - I can't stand to even think about it. I know I hurt you, Mr. Frodo, and that fact kills me. I know I shouldn't feel the way I do about you, and I try not to, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't change it. So I gave up, and look where it's gotten us.
When I get home I go straight to my room, and sit on my bed and put my head in my hands, trying not to cry. It's hard to keep it in, especially when I think about the way you wouldn't look at me when I was leaving. But I won't cry. I won't feel sorry for myself.
I don't know how long I lay here, tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep. Just like last night. But this time, Mr. Frodo, you won't be coming in to keep me company. It must be late, no one in the hole is awake anymore. It's so quiet, and lonely... and I realize that's how I'm gonna wake up again tomorrow - alone.
I sigh and get out of bed. Maybe a walk around the place will get me calm again.
I open my bedroom door and leave it quietly, walking into the moonlit kitchen. I sit down in a chair and look out the window, up the hill. I sit staring for a bit, then get up. I know what I have to do... I just don't know if I can.
I feels like hours since I've been lying here, with nothing to do but think of you, Sam. There's not much else I can think of, even if I try. So I just lie here, staring at the wall. I don't regret kissing you, I never will. What I regret is letting you go. I shouldn't dwell on it, I know that... but I can't help it. I finally shut my eyes again... and then it happens. You open my door.
You don't say a word, but just slip in quietly and sit on my bed.
"You're back," I say, feeling myself smile with relief, not sure if I'm surprised or not.
"...Couldn't stay away for long, Mr. Frodo." You lie down and put your arm around my middle, burying your face in my neck. "I'm sorry," you mumble; you sound like you're about to cry.
"I am too," I sigh. "I shouldn't have--" I stop myself. "Well... it can't be helped now."
"No." Your voice is no louder than a whisper. "It can't." You press your forehead into my shoulder and sniffle.
"Sam, you're not blaming yourself for any of this, are you?"
"Well, who else anm I supposed to blame, Mr. Frodo?"
"Sometimes, Sam, things happen," I say softly, "and you can't blame ANYONE."
You think about that for a moment, then sigh. "I... I just wanna make things right, Mr. Frodo." You lift your head off my shoulder and I turn slowly onto my back to look at you.
"...Then do it, Sam," I say, "Make things right." My fingers curl around yours and you look first at our hands resting on the pillow, then down into my eyes, and you tighten your grip on my hand as you lean down to kiss me.
Author's Note: Wasn't sure if I wanted to go on or not, I have a few ideas ('Twould make the rating a bit higher), but I just wanted to see what people think first.
Author: TG
Rating: PG
Written: 20 March 2004
Pairing: Sam/Frodo
Summary: Sam and Frodo try deal with everything in their own little secluded ways...
Disclaimer: Obviously, these hobbits are not mine, because if they were, this would have really happened, which it didn't.
And in case you didn't read them, or just need to reread them:
Part One
Part Two
Walking down the hill I curse my own stupidity all the way home.
I'm not sure what I should have done, but it definitely can't have been that. I feel bad for feeling the way I do, for letting that happen, even for knocking over the ink bottle and not cleaning it up - but most of all, I feel bad for leaving you like that.
All I know is that I panicked. I let it happen and went along with it, and at the first chance I ended it. Ended it way too soon for my liking, but much too late for it not to have hurt.
That look in your eyes, that sound in your voice - I can't stand to even think about it. I know I hurt you, Mr. Frodo, and that fact kills me. I know I shouldn't feel the way I do about you, and I try not to, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't change it. So I gave up, and look where it's gotten us.
When I get home I go straight to my room, and sit on my bed and put my head in my hands, trying not to cry. It's hard to keep it in, especially when I think about the way you wouldn't look at me when I was leaving. But I won't cry. I won't feel sorry for myself.
I don't know how long I lay here, tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep. Just like last night. But this time, Mr. Frodo, you won't be coming in to keep me company. It must be late, no one in the hole is awake anymore. It's so quiet, and lonely... and I realize that's how I'm gonna wake up again tomorrow - alone.
I sigh and get out of bed. Maybe a walk around the place will get me calm again.
I open my bedroom door and leave it quietly, walking into the moonlit kitchen. I sit down in a chair and look out the window, up the hill. I sit staring for a bit, then get up. I know what I have to do... I just don't know if I can.
I feels like hours since I've been lying here, with nothing to do but think of you, Sam. There's not much else I can think of, even if I try. So I just lie here, staring at the wall. I don't regret kissing you, I never will. What I regret is letting you go. I shouldn't dwell on it, I know that... but I can't help it. I finally shut my eyes again... and then it happens. You open my door.
You don't say a word, but just slip in quietly and sit on my bed.
"You're back," I say, feeling myself smile with relief, not sure if I'm surprised or not.
"...Couldn't stay away for long, Mr. Frodo." You lie down and put your arm around my middle, burying your face in my neck. "I'm sorry," you mumble; you sound like you're about to cry.
"I am too," I sigh. "I shouldn't have--" I stop myself. "Well... it can't be helped now."
"No." Your voice is no louder than a whisper. "It can't." You press your forehead into my shoulder and sniffle.
"Sam, you're not blaming yourself for any of this, are you?"
"Well, who else anm I supposed to blame, Mr. Frodo?"
"Sometimes, Sam, things happen," I say softly, "and you can't blame ANYONE."
You think about that for a moment, then sigh. "I... I just wanna make things right, Mr. Frodo." You lift your head off my shoulder and I turn slowly onto my back to look at you.
"...Then do it, Sam," I say, "Make things right." My fingers curl around yours and you look first at our hands resting on the pillow, then down into my eyes, and you tighten your grip on my hand as you lean down to kiss me.
Author's Note: Wasn't sure if I wanted to go on or not, I have a few ideas ('Twould make the rating a bit higher), but I just wanted to see what people think first.