(no subject)
Hm...
Isa just asked me why I don't write anymore. At least not as much as before, posting only lyrics and some other stuff.
I told her I would become very very angry, annoyed and mocking around and normally I don't want this to happen. But well ... what the fuck, here I am.
You might want to know what is going to make me mad right now, maybe you don't, but I don't care, haha. I know this is going to be senseless.
- I hate this guy who tries to get my best friend to cheat on her boyfriend, I really HATE him for doing so and it's just one tiny little stip closer to the explosion of the vulcano.
- I hate this certain girl for being the greatest bitch ever, making one of my better friends crazy, hurting him constantly and he just can't let go of her. (Maybe that's the fact which makes me angry, because obviously it's the same with me, I can't forget and I can't let go. Haha. Great.)
- I hate a certain mother, which is not mine, for the fact that she calls her daughter's boyfriend "my son-in-law" constantly.
- I hate me because I'm the most jealous person in the world and I am perfectly able to ruin my whole evening because of weird theories going threw my head and me yearning for hopeless things, still not able to do anything against the matter altogether.
- I hate the whole situation because I'm simply not able to open my mouth and say the things I should say to make everything better. At least a tiny little bit. But I just keep on being quite, hahaha ...
- I hate the question "so, what are you going to do after the a-levels?" and being stressed by my mother about this fact, I hate being so goddamn frightened and having no self-confidence at all. It makes me sick and I mean it.
- AND I fucking hate it when I don't know what to think about a certain person who keeps driving me mad constantly. I won't say anything more. Gyaahrg!
But I love to know that there are people out there, thinking of me and asking me what's wrong, trying to give me the feeling to be of any importance. Just to hear someone saying "I'm worried and I don't want you to become sad and broken, I'm just worrying that the whole situation will be the same as it was with Jakob and that's the last thing in the world I'd like to see" will keep me warm for a few days. You don't have a best best best best best best friend just for fun, you know, and you certainly won't drop him for a full year when you're not absolutely sure there's no chance to get rid of him anyway. Haha. Good to know, good to feel. Ahh, Jacken's great.
Thomas said something similar to me when we drove home the other day ... I don't know but ... I think these are the moments you, I, should remember. Whatsoever.
Hey, people, my dear friends ... please tell me if something's wrong. When I cause you trouble, when I keep on annoying you, please go ahead and tell me. I fucking mean it, because you should know I'm a master in thinking things over and coming to the perfectly wrong conclusion. And I'm afraid and I can't sleep but I'm still such a coward I normally wouldn't ask or tell you. Gyaarrgh.
Fine. At least the sun is shining. I hope she'll do the same for next week.
Please, stay friendly. And keep some light.
Isa just asked me why I don't write anymore. At least not as much as before, posting only lyrics and some other stuff.
I told her I would become very very angry, annoyed and mocking around and normally I don't want this to happen. But well ... what the fuck, here I am.
You might want to know what is going to make me mad right now, maybe you don't, but I don't care, haha. I know this is going to be senseless.
- I hate this guy who tries to get my best friend to cheat on her boyfriend, I really HATE him for doing so and it's just one tiny little stip closer to the explosion of the vulcano.
- I hate this certain girl for being the greatest bitch ever, making one of my better friends crazy, hurting him constantly and he just can't let go of her. (Maybe that's the fact which makes me angry, because obviously it's the same with me, I can't forget and I can't let go. Haha. Great.)
- I hate a certain mother, which is not mine, for the fact that she calls her daughter's boyfriend "my son-in-law" constantly.
- I hate me because I'm the most jealous person in the world and I am perfectly able to ruin my whole evening because of weird theories going threw my head and me yearning for hopeless things, still not able to do anything against the matter altogether.
- I hate the whole situation because I'm simply not able to open my mouth and say the things I should say to make everything better. At least a tiny little bit. But I just keep on being quite, hahaha ...
- I hate the question "so, what are you going to do after the a-levels?" and being stressed by my mother about this fact, I hate being so goddamn frightened and having no self-confidence at all. It makes me sick and I mean it.
- AND I fucking hate it when I don't know what to think about a certain person who keeps driving me mad constantly. I won't say anything more. Gyaahrg!
But I love to know that there are people out there, thinking of me and asking me what's wrong, trying to give me the feeling to be of any importance. Just to hear someone saying "I'm worried and I don't want you to become sad and broken, I'm just worrying that the whole situation will be the same as it was with Jakob and that's the last thing in the world I'd like to see" will keep me warm for a few days. You don't have a best best best best best best friend just for fun, you know, and you certainly won't drop him for a full year when you're not absolutely sure there's no chance to get rid of him anyway. Haha. Good to know, good to feel. Ahh, Jacken's great.
Thomas said something similar to me when we drove home the other day ... I don't know but ... I think these are the moments you, I, should remember. Whatsoever.
Hey, people, my dear friends ... please tell me if something's wrong. When I cause you trouble, when I keep on annoying you, please go ahead and tell me. I fucking mean it, because you should know I'm a master in thinking things over and coming to the perfectly wrong conclusion. And I'm afraid and I can't sleep but I'm still such a coward I normally wouldn't ask or tell you. Gyaarrgh.
Fine. At least the sun is shining. I hope she'll do the same for next week.
Please, stay friendly. And keep some light.