Katie Liveblogs Sports she doesn't Understand: The Superbowl, Part 4
OK, I wasn't going to reblog the half time show, but I just must register this: WHAT. THE. ASS. WAS SHE A HUGE FAN OF IMMORTALS OR SOMETHING. And then there's that bit where her backing dancers are basically flipping her around. I'm far more excited to be watching them, to be honest. NOT THAT WAY. OK, a little bit.
And the third quarter starts just right when I'm considering packing it in and going to bed. OH WELL. Oh, but is it actually starting? The guys were all running at each other but now we're back with some lady in bright pink on the sidelines talking about Important Things about Possessing the Ball. Oh, NOW they're throwing the ball about again. Onwards! Leg tackles! Huzzah!
There are a lot of tackles that end up in the dudes rocketing off the edge of the pitch. Maybe they should consider installing a bear pit around it, just to provide the incentive to not do that. Yeah. Along with giant crabs and powneryship, I could make this game a LOT more exciting.
Oh! I think Tom Brady just broke some kind of record. At least, that's what a little graphic at the bottom of the screen is telling me. Ah, and now we're treated to his info/dating montage. "This is Tom Brady, he's brilliant, and look at his pumped fist right there. LOOK AT IT. REVEL IN IT. THIS MAN HAS BEEN FISTBUMPED BY THE GODS THEMSELVES."
The commentators keep going back to replays and circling important bits, which more often than not, involves circling the players's asses. I'M SORRY I KEEP BRINGING THEM UP, I WILL STOP WHEN THEY DO.
Wow! That was actually a touchdown I a) saw and b) was vaguely impressed by! Not as good a dance as Cruz earlier though. Disappointing in that regard. Also, that it was the Patriots who won. I'm somehow supporting the Giants, even though I know nothing about EITHER side.
THAT DUDE JUST SPAT ON THE FLOOR. MANNERS DON'T COST A PENNY, YOUNG MAN. USE A SPITOON. THEY DO COST A PENNY, BUT HEY, YOU CAN AFFORD IT.
Whoops whoops, too hardcore a tackle. There's also some emotional cheek-kissing going on. WHOA AND A DUDE LOST A HELMET IN A TACKLE. SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
They've all gotten very hardcore-tackly this half. Maybe they had some Weetabix at half time. Maybe they disliked the Madonna performance as much as everyone on tumblr seems to have done, and are expressing their rage. Or maybe the homoeroticism is just too mighty.
Ooooooof! HARDCORE tackle! MIDAIR tackle! HEAD BOUNCING tackle! That was kinda scary. That could have gone horribly wrong. I fail at finding something funny about this. Moving on.
I KIND OF FELL ASLEEP BUT I'M AWAKE NOW. The commentators are talking and discussing an important looking sheet of paper, probably about plays. How long is left? What did I miss? I'M SURE THE PAPER IS FASCINATING, IT'S GOT HIGHLIGHTED COLOURS, BUT WHAT HAVE I MISSED. Oh. Hardly anything. A guy's injured, but I think it's a different dude from before. Ah, there was a lot of running and shoving. Gentlemen, please try to carry out this superbowl with some DECORUM.
Also, throw balls so that others can catch them. I'd have thought that was in Superbowl 101.
Man ground grappling love! America, you must admit it. This sport is incredibly homoerotic.
Brady has an INCREDIBLY PISSED-OFF FACE. Apparently he's messed up his shoulder in some way. I guess that would piss me off too. (I am distracted from blogging because all tackles look the same after a while.)
AAAHHH I WENT TO GET MY SLANKET AND NOW IT'S THE FOURTH QUARTER HELP
And the third quarter starts just right when I'm considering packing it in and going to bed. OH WELL. Oh, but is it actually starting? The guys were all running at each other but now we're back with some lady in bright pink on the sidelines talking about Important Things about Possessing the Ball. Oh, NOW they're throwing the ball about again. Onwards! Leg tackles! Huzzah!
There are a lot of tackles that end up in the dudes rocketing off the edge of the pitch. Maybe they should consider installing a bear pit around it, just to provide the incentive to not do that. Yeah. Along with giant crabs and powneryship, I could make this game a LOT more exciting.
Oh! I think Tom Brady just broke some kind of record. At least, that's what a little graphic at the bottom of the screen is telling me. Ah, and now we're treated to his info/dating montage. "This is Tom Brady, he's brilliant, and look at his pumped fist right there. LOOK AT IT. REVEL IN IT. THIS MAN HAS BEEN FISTBUMPED BY THE GODS THEMSELVES."
The commentators keep going back to replays and circling important bits, which more often than not, involves circling the players's asses. I'M SORRY I KEEP BRINGING THEM UP, I WILL STOP WHEN THEY DO.
Wow! That was actually a touchdown I a) saw and b) was vaguely impressed by! Not as good a dance as Cruz earlier though. Disappointing in that regard. Also, that it was the Patriots who won. I'm somehow supporting the Giants, even though I know nothing about EITHER side.
THAT DUDE JUST SPAT ON THE FLOOR. MANNERS DON'T COST A PENNY, YOUNG MAN. USE A SPITOON. THEY DO COST A PENNY, BUT HEY, YOU CAN AFFORD IT.
Whoops whoops, too hardcore a tackle. There's also some emotional cheek-kissing going on. WHOA AND A DUDE LOST A HELMET IN A TACKLE. SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
They've all gotten very hardcore-tackly this half. Maybe they had some Weetabix at half time. Maybe they disliked the Madonna performance as much as everyone on tumblr seems to have done, and are expressing their rage. Or maybe the homoeroticism is just too mighty.
Ooooooof! HARDCORE tackle! MIDAIR tackle! HEAD BOUNCING tackle! That was kinda scary. That could have gone horribly wrong. I fail at finding something funny about this. Moving on.
I KIND OF FELL ASLEEP BUT I'M AWAKE NOW. The commentators are talking and discussing an important looking sheet of paper, probably about plays. How long is left? What did I miss? I'M SURE THE PAPER IS FASCINATING, IT'S GOT HIGHLIGHTED COLOURS, BUT WHAT HAVE I MISSED. Oh. Hardly anything. A guy's injured, but I think it's a different dude from before. Ah, there was a lot of running and shoving. Gentlemen, please try to carry out this superbowl with some DECORUM.
Also, throw balls so that others can catch them. I'd have thought that was in Superbowl 101.
Man ground grappling love! America, you must admit it. This sport is incredibly homoerotic.
Brady has an INCREDIBLY PISSED-OFF FACE. Apparently he's messed up his shoulder in some way. I guess that would piss me off too. (I am distracted from blogging because all tackles look the same after a while.)
AAAHHH I WENT TO GET MY SLANKET AND NOW IT'S THE FOURTH QUARTER HELP