MEEME
Jetlag continues to plague me. I haven't been tagged for this meme, but I saw it a few weeks ago and thought it looked fun, so here we are:
Ten Things I've Done You Probably Haven't.
(Of course, considering the diversity of my friends on here, there are probably a few out there who HAVE, but dramatise.)
1. Jumped off Grouse Mountain attached only to some fabric and a guy called Jaromir.
Paragliding in Canada. Awesome experience. Though I swiftly found out that there's something worse than running off a cliff over a kilometre up in the air - it's running towards aforementioned cliff, and then having aforementioned Jaromir start yelling, "Stop! You're going too slow, we won't make it!" and realising that if you fall off NOW, not even physics will save you.
2. Been called a nerd at a Rock Band tournament in a retro Pinball Arcade.
For srs. Pinball Arcade - nerdy. Rock Band tournament - nerdier. But apparently, Jackie and I requesting to sing 'Skullcrusher Mountain' just put us to the top of the pile.
3. Written a 76,000 word novel that would have Christian fundamentalists bomb the hell out of you (pun not intended, but quite apt).
Jesus was the villain bringing about the Apocalypse so he could become the Second Coming and kill God. Demons fought with the humans. Angels were gay (but what's new?). And the Afterlife turned out to be one huge administrative cock-up. Yeah. It's probably a good thing it's too bad to consider publishing.
4. Gotten a letter from your MP - or, congressman - congratulating you on something you're actually considering therapy over.
Wow, emo comes in fast. But I'm not emo about it now. Simple fact was, my parents thought they were being nice for spreading the word about how I helped with CPR on a guy who was having a heart attack, not realising I was actually suffering from mild PTSD after seeing it and suffering some serious crises about religion and mortality, and REALLY didn't want to be being reminded about it constantly.
5. Fought Darth Vader alongside a bunch of six-year-olds and realised you could probably kick his ass.
I went to the Star Wars exhibition in London with Jackie, and... volunteered for Jedi School...
6. Broken your own jaw in half. Intentionally.
That brace was so messed up. Apparently my jaw wasn't wide enough for my teeth to be arranged right, so I had to have this metal contraption fitted that I widened myself about half a millimetre every day with a tiny screwdriver, that slowly forced both halves of my upper jaw apart.
So, yeah, it tore my upper palette apart, leaving a long centimetre-wide gap down the middle.
At the beginning, I couldn't stand up while doing it, it hurt too much. I passed out from the pain a couple of times. And to make it even better, I was just beginning a production of Beauty and the Beast, so was not only lisping all my lines thanks to the device and changing shape of my mouth, but had overwhelming pain and nausea that meant I had to sit down all the time I wasn't on stage.
When I finally went back to the orthodontist to get the damn thing off, even a nurse looking at my X-Ray and was like "HOLY GOD!!! What did they DO to you??"
7. Been taught the violin by Orlando Bloom's tutor.
I learned the violin from when I was six years old, and kept it up for about 12 years, even though I never practised and my tutor had assumed I'd quit within my first year due to my stubby fingers.
So in November 2001, as my latest session was drawing to a close, she mentioned, "Oh! Have you heard of this Lord of the Rings film thing that's coming out?"
"Oh yeah, I've seen some trailers."
"Well, do go and see it, one of ex-pupils is in it."
"Ooh! What as?"
"I'm not sure, he's got a very strange name. His name was Orlando Bloom or something, I taught him the viola for a few years. I don't think it's a big part, but see if you can spot him!"
Oh, I spotted him alright.
8. Told your headmistress how wrong you think she is, and then listed the ways - and gotten commended for it.
Without a doubt the ballsiest - and most retarded - thing I did in my school career. The headmistress gave a long speech in Assembly about whether you were Nice, or Not Nice, and how you had to choose between them. Which was utter bollocks. Terrorists thought they were striving for the greater good, people did mean things unknowingly.
Which is a fair enough opinion, but I chose to write it all down in a very annoyed letter - straight after Assembly, I might add, so I was still seething slightly - and handed it straight to her secretary, asking that she get it. It was only halfway through the next lesson that I realised why my friends had been so shocked at me.
But it turned out I got not only a letter back from the headmistress, thanking me for making my thoughts clear but also rebuffing them, but something resembling street-cred from my peers for the rest of the year.
9. Turned rice in a stir-fry you're making green.
I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED.
And finally,
10.
This whole meme wasn't just an excuse to repost that photo. I swear.
I'm not going to tag anyone, if you feel like doing the meme then go ahead.
Ten Things I've Done You Probably Haven't.
(Of course, considering the diversity of my friends on here, there are probably a few out there who HAVE, but dramatise.)
1. Jumped off Grouse Mountain attached only to some fabric and a guy called Jaromir.
Paragliding in Canada. Awesome experience. Though I swiftly found out that there's something worse than running off a cliff over a kilometre up in the air - it's running towards aforementioned cliff, and then having aforementioned Jaromir start yelling, "Stop! You're going too slow, we won't make it!" and realising that if you fall off NOW, not even physics will save you.
2. Been called a nerd at a Rock Band tournament in a retro Pinball Arcade.
For srs. Pinball Arcade - nerdy. Rock Band tournament - nerdier. But apparently, Jackie and I requesting to sing 'Skullcrusher Mountain' just put us to the top of the pile.
3. Written a 76,000 word novel that would have Christian fundamentalists bomb the hell out of you (pun not intended, but quite apt).
Jesus was the villain bringing about the Apocalypse so he could become the Second Coming and kill God. Demons fought with the humans. Angels were gay (but what's new?). And the Afterlife turned out to be one huge administrative cock-up. Yeah. It's probably a good thing it's too bad to consider publishing.
4. Gotten a letter from your MP - or, congressman - congratulating you on something you're actually considering therapy over.
Wow, emo comes in fast. But I'm not emo about it now. Simple fact was, my parents thought they were being nice for spreading the word about how I helped with CPR on a guy who was having a heart attack, not realising I was actually suffering from mild PTSD after seeing it and suffering some serious crises about religion and mortality, and REALLY didn't want to be being reminded about it constantly.
5. Fought Darth Vader alongside a bunch of six-year-olds and realised you could probably kick his ass.
I went to the Star Wars exhibition in London with Jackie, and... volunteered for Jedi School...
6. Broken your own jaw in half. Intentionally.
That brace was so messed up. Apparently my jaw wasn't wide enough for my teeth to be arranged right, so I had to have this metal contraption fitted that I widened myself about half a millimetre every day with a tiny screwdriver, that slowly forced both halves of my upper jaw apart.
So, yeah, it tore my upper palette apart, leaving a long centimetre-wide gap down the middle.
At the beginning, I couldn't stand up while doing it, it hurt too much. I passed out from the pain a couple of times. And to make it even better, I was just beginning a production of Beauty and the Beast, so was not only lisping all my lines thanks to the device and changing shape of my mouth, but had overwhelming pain and nausea that meant I had to sit down all the time I wasn't on stage.
When I finally went back to the orthodontist to get the damn thing off, even a nurse looking at my X-Ray and was like "HOLY GOD!!! What did they DO to you??"
7. Been taught the violin by Orlando Bloom's tutor.
I learned the violin from when I was six years old, and kept it up for about 12 years, even though I never practised and my tutor had assumed I'd quit within my first year due to my stubby fingers.
So in November 2001, as my latest session was drawing to a close, she mentioned, "Oh! Have you heard of this Lord of the Rings film thing that's coming out?"
"Oh yeah, I've seen some trailers."
"Well, do go and see it, one of ex-pupils is in it."
"Ooh! What as?"
"I'm not sure, he's got a very strange name. His name was Orlando Bloom or something, I taught him the viola for a few years. I don't think it's a big part, but see if you can spot him!"
Oh, I spotted him alright.
8. Told your headmistress how wrong you think she is, and then listed the ways - and gotten commended for it.
Without a doubt the ballsiest - and most retarded - thing I did in my school career. The headmistress gave a long speech in Assembly about whether you were Nice, or Not Nice, and how you had to choose between them. Which was utter bollocks. Terrorists thought they were striving for the greater good, people did mean things unknowingly.
Which is a fair enough opinion, but I chose to write it all down in a very annoyed letter - straight after Assembly, I might add, so I was still seething slightly - and handed it straight to her secretary, asking that she get it. It was only halfway through the next lesson that I realised why my friends had been so shocked at me.
But it turned out I got not only a letter back from the headmistress, thanking me for making my thoughts clear but also rebuffing them, but something resembling street-cred from my peers for the rest of the year.
9. Turned rice in a stir-fry you're making green.
I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED.
And finally,
10.
This whole meme wasn't just an excuse to repost that photo. I swear.
I'm not going to tag anyone, if you feel like doing the meme then go ahead.