This is getting ridonkulous
I STILL get really annoyed every time I see the new Stargate credits. EVERY TIME. Which is, like, TEN TIMES A DAY at the rate we're watching it.
I mean, you'd think I'd have gotten used to them by now. But no! Every time I see them, I am reminded WHY I loathe them so.
OK, I'm not going to get this out of my system till I write a full breakdown of WHY the first ones were good, and why the new ones are so godawful.
OK. Let's try doing this as a list.
1. The first ones actually gave a better feel of what the show was all about. There was DRAMA and SHINY STUFF and O'NEILL LOOKING DETERMINED and his TEAM and, OH YES, THE ACTUAL FREAKIN' STARGATE. I just so happen to believe that if you have a show called Stargate, you should actually SHOW the Stargate in the credits. Imagine if Friends had just had a slow pan over New York for the credits, as opposed to showing the actual friends the title referred to. And Dexter didn't show Dexter. And Battlestar Galactica didn't show the Battlestar Galactica. YOU GET MY DRIFT.
I can see what they were going for with the whole slow-pan over the Pharoah's head thing, except - well, I can't. It's a SLOW-PAN over a PHAROAH'S HEAD. It's entirely wrong for the kind of show Stargate is, it's entirely wrong for the music (BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY SHOULD CHANGE THE MUSIC, IT'S THE ONLY THING SAVING THEM RIGHT NOW) and - IT'S A FREAKIN' SLOW PAN OVER A FREAKIN' PHAROAH'S HEAD!!! IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE INTERESTING CREDITS??? They hardly even DEAL with Egyptian culture any more!! WHAT THE HELL???
2. The music fit so much better with the first credits. It was all pretty and quiet just looking at the Stargate, and then it suddenly got all intense and action-y with the shot of O'Neill looking determined, and immediately surged again with the shot of the iris in his eye (WHICH WAS AMAZING) and then another tune kicked off underneath with shots of O'Neill looking determined and LOLAmerican at the Stargate, AND THEN IT GOT ALL SOARY AND PRETTY AND DAAAA DAAAA DA-DA-DA DA DAAAA DA-DA-DA DAAAA DA-DA-DA DAAAA DA DA DA-DA DAAAAAA AS THE TITLE WAS MADE OUT OF THE 'A' FROM THE GATE AND DGVOBDABA I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVED THAT BIT. And then it continued being all amazing and pretty as we got shots of the rest of his team doin' their thing - Daniel looking geeky and flustered BUT DETERMINED, Sam looking all strong and competent BUT STILL GIRLY, and Tial'c looking like the requisite kick-ass alien BUT STILL WITH FEELINGS, and General Hammond... pointing at stuff... and then it changed again with just a few shots of them being awesome and jumping through Stargates and shit blowing up and lalalala I could have watched those credits all day.
Now? 'Richard Dean Anderson' and 'Stargate SG-1' appear when the music is still being all intense, and the music only gets soary when 'Michael Shanks' appears. Which is just... such wrong timing. SUCH wrong timing. In fact, the entire credits show no sense of timing whatsoever. WHEN YOU HAVE MUSIC THAT PRETTY, YOU WORK WITH IT, OK. But let's face it. It's a slow pan over a Pharoah's head. WHAT KIND OF TIMING CAN THERE BE. KDFAQNBQBEW.
3. The font of the credits. I KNOW that's a tiny nitpick BUT THEY STARTED ME ON THIS PATH AND GODDAMMIT I'M GOING ALL THE WAY. So, font and text in the first set of credits was pretty good. Nothing marvellous, but then credits font isn't supposed to be. It's supposed to be something to glance at while everyone turns dramatically at the camera and notice subliminally and then get astonished a few days later when you realise you've learned everyone's names without noticing.
But now? With the fact that the credits are just a freakin' slow pan over a freakin' pharoah's head, the text is all you get to look at. WOULD IT HAVE KILLED THEM TO MAKE IT BETTER? Besides the fact it pops up at really bad timing with the music, it's not even an exciting font, and the colour is horrendous. What is that, mint green? Ugh. So wrong, show. So wrong.
4. We don't get to see Daniel's hair when it was still long any more! It was bad enough that they cut it, but at least it was still in the opening credits! Nor do we get the big-ass explosion or that bit with O'Neill and Daniel hurling themselves through the Stargate just before it shuts off, which I love, for some reason. I mean, were they worried the images were out of date? I did wonder earlier why they didn't change the shots for each new season, like Friends did, but they were good shots, so I didn't mind. If they wanted something new, couldn't they have just done that?
5.FREAKING. SLOW. PAN. OVER. FREAKING. PHAROAH'S. HEAD. God, that could have been my first point and saved the rest of the list.
Oh god, I've got to stop. I do know these credits only last a season. But... ugh, the loathing will last a lifetime.
OK. Something sensible so I don't look utterly mad. Er. Essays are nearly done. Revision looks scary. I tidied my room. Cross-stitch is maintaining my calm.
Er.
OK, I guess I am just utterly mad.
I mean, you'd think I'd have gotten used to them by now. But no! Every time I see them, I am reminded WHY I loathe them so.
OK, I'm not going to get this out of my system till I write a full breakdown of WHY the first ones were good, and why the new ones are so godawful.
OK. Let's try doing this as a list.
1. The first ones actually gave a better feel of what the show was all about. There was DRAMA and SHINY STUFF and O'NEILL LOOKING DETERMINED and his TEAM and, OH YES, THE ACTUAL FREAKIN' STARGATE. I just so happen to believe that if you have a show called Stargate, you should actually SHOW the Stargate in the credits. Imagine if Friends had just had a slow pan over New York for the credits, as opposed to showing the actual friends the title referred to. And Dexter didn't show Dexter. And Battlestar Galactica didn't show the Battlestar Galactica. YOU GET MY DRIFT.
I can see what they were going for with the whole slow-pan over the Pharoah's head thing, except - well, I can't. It's a SLOW-PAN over a PHAROAH'S HEAD. It's entirely wrong for the kind of show Stargate is, it's entirely wrong for the music (BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY SHOULD CHANGE THE MUSIC, IT'S THE ONLY THING SAVING THEM RIGHT NOW) and - IT'S A FREAKIN' SLOW PAN OVER A FREAKIN' PHAROAH'S HEAD!!! IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE INTERESTING CREDITS??? They hardly even DEAL with Egyptian culture any more!! WHAT THE HELL???
2. The music fit so much better with the first credits. It was all pretty and quiet just looking at the Stargate, and then it suddenly got all intense and action-y with the shot of O'Neill looking determined, and immediately surged again with the shot of the iris in his eye (WHICH WAS AMAZING) and then another tune kicked off underneath with shots of O'Neill looking determined and LOLAmerican at the Stargate, AND THEN IT GOT ALL SOARY AND PRETTY AND DAAAA DAAAA DA-DA-DA DA DAAAA DA-DA-DA DAAAA DA-DA-DA DAAAA DA DA DA-DA DAAAAAA AS THE TITLE WAS MADE OUT OF THE 'A' FROM THE GATE AND DGVOBDABA I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVED THAT BIT. And then it continued being all amazing and pretty as we got shots of the rest of his team doin' their thing - Daniel looking geeky and flustered BUT DETERMINED, Sam looking all strong and competent BUT STILL GIRLY, and Tial'c looking like the requisite kick-ass alien BUT STILL WITH FEELINGS, and General Hammond... pointing at stuff... and then it changed again with just a few shots of them being awesome and jumping through Stargates and shit blowing up and lalalala I could have watched those credits all day.
Now? 'Richard Dean Anderson' and 'Stargate SG-1' appear when the music is still being all intense, and the music only gets soary when 'Michael Shanks' appears. Which is just... such wrong timing. SUCH wrong timing. In fact, the entire credits show no sense of timing whatsoever. WHEN YOU HAVE MUSIC THAT PRETTY, YOU WORK WITH IT, OK. But let's face it. It's a slow pan over a Pharoah's head. WHAT KIND OF TIMING CAN THERE BE. KDFAQNBQBEW.
3. The font of the credits. I KNOW that's a tiny nitpick BUT THEY STARTED ME ON THIS PATH AND GODDAMMIT I'M GOING ALL THE WAY. So, font and text in the first set of credits was pretty good. Nothing marvellous, but then credits font isn't supposed to be. It's supposed to be something to glance at while everyone turns dramatically at the camera and notice subliminally and then get astonished a few days later when you realise you've learned everyone's names without noticing.
But now? With the fact that the credits are just a freakin' slow pan over a freakin' pharoah's head, the text is all you get to look at. WOULD IT HAVE KILLED THEM TO MAKE IT BETTER? Besides the fact it pops up at really bad timing with the music, it's not even an exciting font, and the colour is horrendous. What is that, mint green? Ugh. So wrong, show. So wrong.
4. We don't get to see Daniel's hair when it was still long any more! It was bad enough that they cut it, but at least it was still in the opening credits! Nor do we get the big-ass explosion or that bit with O'Neill and Daniel hurling themselves through the Stargate just before it shuts off, which I love, for some reason. I mean, were they worried the images were out of date? I did wonder earlier why they didn't change the shots for each new season, like Friends did, but they were good shots, so I didn't mind. If they wanted something new, couldn't they have just done that?
5.FREAKING. SLOW. PAN. OVER. FREAKING. PHAROAH'S. HEAD. God, that could have been my first point and saved the rest of the list.
Oh god, I've got to stop. I do know these credits only last a season. But... ugh, the loathing will last a lifetime.
OK. Something sensible so I don't look utterly mad. Er. Essays are nearly done. Revision looks scary. I tidied my room. Cross-stitch is maintaining my calm.
Er.
OK, I guess I am just utterly mad.