Fill: Asexual!Kili 1/2 (Fili/Kili, incest)wronglineFebruary 10 2013, 16:13:16 UTC
[First fic for three years, dashed off rather quickly and I'm not entirely happy with it, tbh. Hope it floats the OP's boat nonetheless.]
It's not that he doesn't understand.
Fili's hands clasp his gently, fearfully, in the low, cramped room above the forge that they're forced to call home, and he closes his eyes as though awaiting an executioner's blow as golden hair brushes his cheek and his brother whispers in his ear, You're my one. Kili breathes shakily, nods, enfolds Fili in his arms, murmurs I know, I know, as his heart cramps with relief, with love, with pain and terror. That first night in their small, rented bed, Fili, dazed with elation, is content just to hold him, to bestow soft kisses on his brow and cheekbones, and doesn't notice when Kili gently deflects those heading too closely towards his mouth. He knows full well that this is as perfect as it will ever be, knows that he should cry into his brother's hair as Fili sleeps, but the bliss of simply being held, of being warm and loved and of inhaling the smell of
( ... )
Fill: Asexual!Kili 2/2 (Fili/Kili, incest)wronglineFebruary 10 2013, 16:13:40 UTC
Perhaps this is why it all becomes so much easier when they're journeying - it's impossible for them to spend much time alone together, yet no one bats an eyelid at their pushing their bedrolls together for warmth, and every night Kili goes to sleep with Fili's chest tightly against his back, moustache braids tickling the back of his neck reassuringly and his brother's hand clutched in his own beneath the blanket. And whilst he's never exactly felt the need to prove himself to Fili the flash of pride he sees in those grey eyes whenever one of his arrows fells a warg or skewers an orc burns away a little of the guilt from his soul. The fierce elation in fighting alongside his brother, in protecting his life alongside those of his uncle and friends, begins to bring to life that part of him which feels his own worth, and sometimes, tentatively, he even allows himself to feel an occasional glimmer of hope in the midst of all this uncertainty and danger
( ... )
Re: Fill: Asexual!Kili 2/2 (Fili/Kili, incest)
anonymous
February 10 2013, 17:49:12 UTC
Not the OP, but as someone who identifies as asexual a lot of this rings painfully true. I hear you, Kili. It's awful, really awful, when you're in that situation when you love someone, but what the two of you physically want just doesn't fit together.
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It's not that he doesn't understand.
Fili's hands clasp his gently, fearfully, in the low, cramped room above the forge that they're forced to call home, and he closes his eyes as though awaiting an executioner's blow as golden hair brushes his cheek and his brother whispers in his ear, You're my one. Kili breathes shakily, nods, enfolds Fili in his arms, murmurs I know, I know, as his heart cramps with relief, with love, with pain and terror. That first night in their small, rented bed, Fili, dazed with elation, is content just to hold him, to bestow soft kisses on his brow and cheekbones, and doesn't notice when Kili gently deflects those heading too closely towards his mouth. He knows full well that this is as perfect as it will ever be, knows that he should cry into his brother's hair as Fili sleeps, but the bliss of simply being held, of being warm and loved and of inhaling the smell of ( ... )
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