Different (11/15) Wasted Days and Wasted Nights
Fic: Different (11/15)
Title: Different
Author: bluebriefs and hobbes73
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Everything becomes different after an unexpected move by Alex.
Wasted Days and Wasted Nights
Don't go... Alex inwardly pleaded as she watched Olivia disappear into the night.
She fought the urge to call out to Olivia. Remarkably, a rational inner voice still existed and could still be heard amongst the roaring of impulse and desire within her. That voice cautioned her to let Olivia go and she listened.
Alex entered her apartment and forwent the soak in the tub in favor of a shower. She deliberately tried to put off the heavy thinking and completed her nightly routine on autopilot.
There were rare instances when Alex would come out of a situation not knowing if she had won or lost. And tonight it was clear to the attorney that at best, she acknowledged that she really enjoyed kissing Olivia and at worst, she had completely undone the closeness she was developing with her favorite detective in one fell swoop.
Olivia's words hung over her like the adjuration that it was - work out your uncertainties before involving me in it. She couldn't blame Olivia for drawing the line. Olivia should not have to tolerate the push and pull that Alex was feeling when Alex herself could not justify why in one moment she was going out to dinner with Garret Young and then in another she was kissing Olivia Benson senseless right there on the sidewalk.
Despite everything, Alex could not resist a small smile when she thought about the look on the brunette's face when they pulled apart after the searing kiss. The woman had looked ridiculously captivating even when she seemed gobsmacked. There were locks of brown hair that fell over her eyes but they did nothing to mute the intensity of her gaze. The surprise and arousal she saw in Olivia's eyes were quickly displaced by a harsher look, reining in the emotions that had flashed through before she realized that Alex's call for help was underlain with ulterior motives.
Alex grimaced at her own inexplicable dishonesty as she turned over the evening's events in her head. Like solving a Rubik's cube of guilt she turned over each action and spun each reasoning around, attempting to form the answers to questions she could not even articulate.
It was three o'clock in the morning when her eyes began to sting from pure exhaustion and she couldn't keep them opened. Though she was ready to fall asleep her mind still churned.
A thought suddenly occurred to her and she almost snorted. She had been worried about what the office grapevine might say about her dinner with Garret Young. Imagine what would happen had they witnessed how this evening had ended - Alex Cabot in front of her own apartment, and for all intents and purposes, making out with a coworker. One of her SVU detectives, no less. The female one, even.
God. Olivia. What the hell have I done? Tomorrow is going to be worse than the second of January, Alex thought.
The tired blonde wasn't able to ruminate on much more than that as she was finally drained of energy and adrenaline, and soon fell into a sleep that yielded little rest.
* * *
Olivia was undressed and under the covers before she allowed the entire evening's events unleash their emotional toll on her. Walking away from Alex was one of the hardest things Olivia ever had to do. It was only her sense of propriety that had kept her from following Alex up to her apartment. In a world without consequences, perhaps... but this is the real world. It had to be real since she could still feel the ghost of Alex's lips on hers. Unconsciously, she ran the tip of her tongue over her lips.
Olivia chewed on her lip as she stared up at the ceiling, searching for… what exactly, she wasn't sure. Here in the confines of her rent regulated one-bedroom apartment the jumble of thoughts and emotions ricocheted in her head like the agitated balls in a lotto machine. Olivia was confused but exhilarated, serene yet conflicted, but through all the questions and uncertainties emerged one undeniable truth - Alex Cabot was a damn good kisser.
Her stomach did a sudden flip at the thought. When Alex's thumb had caressed that sensitive spot behind her ear she'd had to fight, really hard, against the urge to grip the other woman just a little harder and push her up against the bricks of the apartment building. Olivia had wanted to find out if other parts of Alex's body were as soft and wonderful as her mouth.
Images of Alex's lips on her own body crashed through Olivia's mind unsolicited at that moment but not entirely unwelcome. She threw her arm over eyes and groaned in frustration. Not even the sordid dreams that she'd had of the lawyer came close to matching the intensity of the real thing.
Lying on her back didn't seem to bring any answers so she turned over to lay on her stomach and buried her head under a pillow. The mixed signals she had been getting from the blonde were highly uncharacteristic of Alex Cabot.
Alex always knew what she wanted and she stuck to her guns; no one would ever describe the woman as capricious. Many saw the ADA's deliberate and purposeful way as cold, calculating and manipulative. Olivia had thought much the same until the tenuous relationship that had solidified over many meals revealed to Olivia an Alex who was determined to carve out her own path, and oftentimes that path strayed beyond the long shadow cast by the Cabot clout.
After graduating from Columbia Law Alex had set out west to clerk in the US 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, wanting to prove that she was a more than competent attorney who did not need the influential judges and lawyers in her family back east giving her a leg up in the profession.
When it came time to return to New York, Alex left her then boyfriend behind in California. Garret somewhat resembled Jay... the same built, the same clean-cut good looks, Olivia thought tangentially with no small amount of jealousy. And during that inebriated new years afternoon, Alex had shared with Olivia that all her friends thought she was crazy for leaving Jason and turning down the lucrative offers from California firms to return to the east coast for a thankless government job.
But crazy or not, nobody was going to tell Alexandra Cabot what to do with her life. She was smart, self-assured and assertively independent - traits that Olivia had always found attractive in a person. Traits that made Olivia realize that her being drawn to Alex was more than just a physical pull. And following the realization Olivia had slowly gone head over heels, sinking into the pitiful pit of unrequited feelings for the blonde.
But perhaps they aren't as unrequited as she had thought. Maybe something had changed since January first, and she hadn't been imagining that Alex was being physically closer and doing all those things in the last couple months to further fuel the already acute attraction Olivia felt.
If that were true, why the hell was she on a date with Mr. All-American? Clearly Alex was not thinking straight tonight, Olivia told herself as she continued to brood. Nor on new years day, she morosely added. Olivia could not even entertain the thought that Alex may be curious about a relationship with a woman. Curiosity coupled with uncertainties lead to bad endings. Olivia was not willing to risk losing their friendship over a casual intrigue that might prove fleeting.
No, Alex would have to make the first move regardless of whatever direction it took them. With time to put things into perspective she would most likely arrive at a conclusion that would crush Olivia's heart. At which point they would agree to approach this absurd series of events as two adults and to put it behind them for good. Then Olivia could return to falling from afar.
Olivia thoughts drifted back to tonight and, knowing that it was the first and last time she would ever be that close physically with Alex like that, she committed to memory every sensation she felt and every touch she made so that they could be added to her collection of Alex Tidbits. Her reverie was suddenly shattered when thoughts of Laney came to mind.
Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit.
The invective went through her mind like a mantra.
This was going to be a long fucking night.
* * *
Monday
For Alexandra Cabot this day had been tremendously long. She wanted nothing more than to go home and try to work out what she was going to do about Olivia. She even considered faking an illness to have the afternoon to herself. When Garret had shown up at her office she wished she had.
His extreme consideration when their evening had ended early, his concern over her weary appearance and his hopeful request for another meeting had left her conflicted. She was grateful for his recognition that her job was demanding. She liked that he noticed her unkempt appearance, though if she were being honest with herself everyone had noticed she wasn’t up to her usual standard of cool, calm Cabot today.
But she had no interest in going out with him again. Unfortunately the office gossip queen overheard Alex's polite refusal of a second date. It did not take long for the silent buzz to explode into building-wide chatter among the gossips and Alex spent part of the afternoon feeling several of the paralegals glaring holes into the back of her blouse. Alex filed a mental note to make Miss Flibbertigibbet pay by thrusting her onto a particularly ornery Donnelly when the opportunity arose. But the dirty looks were nothing compared to the veiled questions that she dodged. By two o'clock she concluded that lawyers asked too many damn questions.
By four o'clock she could no longer avoid the station house. The interview that Olivia had used as an excuse last night at the restaurant had come to fruition.
Alex entered the one-six, and for the first time in a long time hoped to not see Olivia. The detective's words had run continually through her head the night before. Alex conceded to herself that she was no closer than she had been in January in coming up with an explanation to the feelings that was drawing her to Olivia. Well, admitting they existed was a step closer she supposed as she scanned the squadroom.
Alex found Olivia sitting crossed legged on her desk, holding court, while the other three male detectives formed a semi circle in front of her on their chairs. She was reading from a file and spoke just as Alex approached. "You have got to be kidding me! Goats?"
Alex could think of nothing witty nor sarcastic about goats given a single moments notice, so she settled for the standard hello. Olivia did not look at her or even acknowledged her presence. The guys greeted their ADA as Olivia made a note in the file. She tossed it at Elliot and then finally turned to the blonde.
"Hey Alex."
"What are you working on?"
"Don't ask," Fin replied, picking up another file from a large stack on Olivia's desk. He glared, first at the writing in the file, then at Olivia who took it from him.
"Don't tell," Elliot finished. He held up the file Olivia had just handed him. "Did you give this guy a drug test?"
"That would be a violation of his civil rights. Besides he was the victim," Munch said pointedly.
"The goats are the victims. I say it's animal control's problem," Fin told them.
Elliot's brows knitted even closer in a frown as he scribbled something that looked completely illegible from where Alex stood. "How'd he end up here?"
"The desk sarge at the one-five thought it would be funny to send Mr. Shiban and his perverted goats to the SVU," Munch said.
"Perverted goats?" Alex had to make sure she heard right. One thing about being the ADA of this division - you never knew what was coming next.
"Mr. Juan Shiban is the owner of three pet goats. Completely permitted. One of the future mutton meals got loose in his Tribeca neighborhood. It was found in the questionable company of a large Siamese cat."
Alex waited for the punch line.
"Mr. Shiban wants the owner of the cat arrested. He claims that the woman enticed his innocent little angel into an unnatural relationship," Munch informed her.
"You can tell him that the DA's office refuses to press charges," Alex stated firmly as she envisioned the judge's face at arraignment.
"It would be a quick way for Petrovsky to have the state pay for your room and board for a couple days," Elliot teased.
"My thoughts exactly."
"I have at least five more comparable to that one," Olivia told them. She motioned to the new file she was reviewing. "Really Elliot, little green men molested her?"
"Impregnated," her partner corrected with a smirk.
Olivia read from the file, "Victim states she had four orgasms and wished that men really were from Mars."
"I'm not taking that one to trial either," Alex said with a slight bit of alarm.
"Martians have immunity now?" Munch asked.
"It's trash day." Fin enlightened their ADA and nodded at the other three boxes that sat on Olivia's desk.
An eyebrow crept up into an arch and Alex had to ask the expected, "Trash day?"
"Once a month we go over the open cases and toss the ones without a valid complaint."
"How far behind are you?" Alex peered at the mass of files but let her gaze surreptitiously fall on Olivia. She noticed that the detective looked about as high-strung as she was, the back of her head looking like she'd ran her hand through her hair many times today in frustration.
"This is just the last two weeks. It's been a freaky month," Fin declared with non nonplus.
Olivia handed Munch the files and asked in disbelief, "Where do these people come from?"
Munch looked down at some papers. "Connecticut," he replied.
Alex was about to say something in response but swallowed it.
"Good, you're here," Cragen said to the lawyer in greeting as he approached the group. "Let's get this show on the road. Fin, you get the honors, Haskell's waiting for you. Munch, go see Warner about the Osloinksi case. You two," - he pointed at Elliot and Olivia - "go home. Third watch is short and you're on call."
The two detectives exchanged a brief look. Alex wondered if they were silently communicating something or just sharing a look of disgust.
"Short again?" Elliot asked as Olivia stood up.
"We got four out tonight."
"How the hell did that happen?" Olivia grumbled. Cragen did not answer and offered his own silent glare before turning around and walking away. Olivia let the question slide into the rhetorical blackhole.
"What you got another hot date?" Elliot asked, eyeing his partner.
"No, it's the same hot date," Olivia shot back. Alex felt a pull in her chest but her expression never changed.
"A second date? Must be serious," Munch could not resist jumping in to give Olivia grief.
Olivia ignored him as she tossed a stack of files into an official filing box. After replacing the lid she wordlessly handed Alex a different report. While Alex read from the file Olivia surveyed the mess that was her desk, shaking her head.
"You caught Peter Jansen?" Alex asked. They had been searching for him for what seemed like months, though in reality it had only been just over a week.
"He's awaiting your special touch. We picked him up around two and his lawyer is pissed off that we didn’t file the charges today," Elliot warned.
"Omar?" Alex asked guessing at the lawyer's name. Seeing Elliot's look of surprise she shrugged. "I've been dodging his calls all day."
The detective grinned. "Still angry about the Weekly case?"
"Enough that he's not getting through to my office on the first try. I'll need your other reports by noon on Wednesday," Alex told them.
"An extra day? How magnanimous of you," Elliot told her.
"I'm feeling charitable, detective. It may never happen again. Besides, a bail jumper can always wait."
"Anything else?" Olivia asked abruptly as she locked her weapon in her drawer.
"Not right now," Alex answered a little uneasily, caught off-guard by Olivia's tone.
"Page me if you need me," Olivia said and the lawyer wondered if she was imagining the edge to the words. Olivia slipped on her coat and was out the door with a quick good bye.
Alex allowed herself to briefly speculate about Olivia's plans for the evening. Probably making it up to Laney, she thought half guiltily and half in jealousy.
"Hey Alex, do you know the name of the guy Liv is dating?" Elliot asked when he was sure Olivia was out of earshot.
"Man, let it go," Fin said from his desk. "Benson'll tell ya if she wanted you to know."
"C'mon. You've seen how Olivia's been acting. You're not curious?"
"Of course he is, but Mr. Booty Call is too suave to admit it." Munch smirked at his partner.
Fin shot him a reproachful look. "My booty calls are none of your business and neither are Benson's."
He headed off to the interrogation room, leaving behind his partner who was still smiling.
Alex almost flinched at the thought of Olivia's hands on Laney. She shook her head at the conversation and then gave Elliot a half smile.
"I plead the fifth, gentlemen." She picked up her attaché case and followed Fin to observe the questioning of their suspect.
"Cop out!" Elliot called after her retreating figure.
* * *
Tuesday
The tired detective closed her eyes briefly in a futile attempt at alleviating the stabbing pain behind her left eye. Olivia knew the only thing that was going to ease the migraine was sleep but since the brass frowned upon sleeping at one's desk she knew relief was not coming anytime soon.
The previous evening she had left her desk thinking about a nice date with Laney. A long, satisfying dinner, a movie or even a short walk through the park. Olivia knew she had to make up for breaking up their evening the previous night to go to Alex. She also wanted to spend some time with the older woman, whom she was undeniably attracted to, to clarify her feelings.
Unfortunately, Laney had a class to teach so instead of the dinner Olivia had envisioned they ended up with some pretty lackluster take-out from the Indian place by Laney's apartment. The fantasy she had nursed about going back to Laney's was replaced by a quick kiss as the harried professor raced off to catch her train.
After her class was over Laney had called Olivia to see if she wanted to come by for dessert. The invitation's double entendre had made Olivia smile. However, it wasn't two minutes after her second bite of the strawberry rhubarb pie when Olivia's cellphone took her from a promising late night date with Laney to the emergency room at St. Luke's.
It had taken all of Olivia's patience as she witnessed the rape kit being done, spoke to the overwrought mother and attempted to take Geary Janowski's statement.
Getting the traumatized teen to talk was next to impossible even in the observation room with its door shut from the highly trafficked emergency room. Olivia had gently teased bits and pieces of information out of the girl, speaking in soft tones and observing every movement Geary made even when she refused to answer the question posed. Out of the corner of her eyes, the detective had watched the mother pace in the background while Geary slowly began to withdraw into herself and rebuffed Olivia's attempt at getting anything else from her.
The ER nurse had pulled Olivia aside and informed her that the exam had revealed long term abuse. Olivia's gut feeling told her then that she had enough to bring the mother in for some quality time in the SVU's interrogation room.
Mrs. Janowski was no hardened criminal and Olivia had a confession long before the cleaning crew was done and day shift could come in. The fact that Geary needed an advocate added two hours to the whole process however. Instead of going home, Olivia sat at her desk to write her report.
Geary's mother not only knew what her husband was doing but she had facilitated his actions. Olivia seethed inwardly as she detailed how Terry Janowski had admitted to holding her daughter down while her husband raped the girl. She actually started to cry on her way to the holding cell and plaintively asked if her husband had to go to jail. Olivia's insides roiled when she realized Terry was crying not out of guilt but for having implicated her husband.
After turning her work into Cragen's inbox she left and was at Laney's door with breakfast and coffee. As she stood there she wasn't even sure why she was trying so hard with Laney. She viciously punted that thought away, not caring where it landed and distracted herself by making conversation with her sleepy-eyed but grateful girlfriend who had classes again this morning.
Afterward, Olivia found her way back to her desk where she dove into the task of completing more paperwork. She decided to call it a morning when her brain was unable to form coherent thoughts when she wasn't staring at the freak files. She got up to kick Elliot out of the crib and as they were making their way downstairs Cragen stuck a head and shoulder out from his office door.
"If any of you need something from the DA's office today you need to call…" Cragen tipped his head back and glared at the scrap of paper in his hand. "Someone in Cabot's office named Harvester."
Olivia felt her gut clench with a slight panic. Where the hell was Alex? She wondered. All of a sudden the extra day on the Jansen reports suddenly made more sense and Olivia went from panicked nausea to anger.
"Nice. We work through the night and Cabot takes a damn day off," Elliot grumbled, echoing her own thoughts.
"Shoulda went to law school," Fin told him and tossed another case file onto the worn out detective's lap.
Olivia stood standing and glowered at the pile of files on her desk with an intensity that matched the level of pounding her head was feeling. To top it all off, her brain had started lobbing back those thoughts she had been trying to put away all morning long. She muttered to Elliot about needing an hour and made her way back to the crib. Sleep came quickly but so did the dreams, flashes of images that she would not remember when she woke up but kept her tossing and turning on the uncomfortable mattress.
As usual, Elliot came to wake her when they caught a fresh case. This time, he even brought real coffee along with him. Olivia was grateful that her partner knew her so well. The headache remained as they made their way to the crime scene but Olivia went about her job without complaint. Some days, it's all just garbage.
Title: Different
Author: bluebriefs and hobbes73
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Everything becomes different after an unexpected move by Alex.
Wasted Days and Wasted Nights
Don't go... Alex inwardly pleaded as she watched Olivia disappear into the night.
She fought the urge to call out to Olivia. Remarkably, a rational inner voice still existed and could still be heard amongst the roaring of impulse and desire within her. That voice cautioned her to let Olivia go and she listened.
Alex entered her apartment and forwent the soak in the tub in favor of a shower. She deliberately tried to put off the heavy thinking and completed her nightly routine on autopilot.
There were rare instances when Alex would come out of a situation not knowing if she had won or lost. And tonight it was clear to the attorney that at best, she acknowledged that she really enjoyed kissing Olivia and at worst, she had completely undone the closeness she was developing with her favorite detective in one fell swoop.
Olivia's words hung over her like the adjuration that it was - work out your uncertainties before involving me in it. She couldn't blame Olivia for drawing the line. Olivia should not have to tolerate the push and pull that Alex was feeling when Alex herself could not justify why in one moment she was going out to dinner with Garret Young and then in another she was kissing Olivia Benson senseless right there on the sidewalk.
Despite everything, Alex could not resist a small smile when she thought about the look on the brunette's face when they pulled apart after the searing kiss. The woman had looked ridiculously captivating even when she seemed gobsmacked. There were locks of brown hair that fell over her eyes but they did nothing to mute the intensity of her gaze. The surprise and arousal she saw in Olivia's eyes were quickly displaced by a harsher look, reining in the emotions that had flashed through before she realized that Alex's call for help was underlain with ulterior motives.
Alex grimaced at her own inexplicable dishonesty as she turned over the evening's events in her head. Like solving a Rubik's cube of guilt she turned over each action and spun each reasoning around, attempting to form the answers to questions she could not even articulate.
It was three o'clock in the morning when her eyes began to sting from pure exhaustion and she couldn't keep them opened. Though she was ready to fall asleep her mind still churned.
A thought suddenly occurred to her and she almost snorted. She had been worried about what the office grapevine might say about her dinner with Garret Young. Imagine what would happen had they witnessed how this evening had ended - Alex Cabot in front of her own apartment, and for all intents and purposes, making out with a coworker. One of her SVU detectives, no less. The female one, even.
God. Olivia. What the hell have I done? Tomorrow is going to be worse than the second of January, Alex thought.
The tired blonde wasn't able to ruminate on much more than that as she was finally drained of energy and adrenaline, and soon fell into a sleep that yielded little rest.
* * *
Olivia was undressed and under the covers before she allowed the entire evening's events unleash their emotional toll on her. Walking away from Alex was one of the hardest things Olivia ever had to do. It was only her sense of propriety that had kept her from following Alex up to her apartment. In a world without consequences, perhaps... but this is the real world. It had to be real since she could still feel the ghost of Alex's lips on hers. Unconsciously, she ran the tip of her tongue over her lips.
Olivia chewed on her lip as she stared up at the ceiling, searching for… what exactly, she wasn't sure. Here in the confines of her rent regulated one-bedroom apartment the jumble of thoughts and emotions ricocheted in her head like the agitated balls in a lotto machine. Olivia was confused but exhilarated, serene yet conflicted, but through all the questions and uncertainties emerged one undeniable truth - Alex Cabot was a damn good kisser.
Her stomach did a sudden flip at the thought. When Alex's thumb had caressed that sensitive spot behind her ear she'd had to fight, really hard, against the urge to grip the other woman just a little harder and push her up against the bricks of the apartment building. Olivia had wanted to find out if other parts of Alex's body were as soft and wonderful as her mouth.
Images of Alex's lips on her own body crashed through Olivia's mind unsolicited at that moment but not entirely unwelcome. She threw her arm over eyes and groaned in frustration. Not even the sordid dreams that she'd had of the lawyer came close to matching the intensity of the real thing.
Lying on her back didn't seem to bring any answers so she turned over to lay on her stomach and buried her head under a pillow. The mixed signals she had been getting from the blonde were highly uncharacteristic of Alex Cabot.
Alex always knew what she wanted and she stuck to her guns; no one would ever describe the woman as capricious. Many saw the ADA's deliberate and purposeful way as cold, calculating and manipulative. Olivia had thought much the same until the tenuous relationship that had solidified over many meals revealed to Olivia an Alex who was determined to carve out her own path, and oftentimes that path strayed beyond the long shadow cast by the Cabot clout.
After graduating from Columbia Law Alex had set out west to clerk in the US 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, wanting to prove that she was a more than competent attorney who did not need the influential judges and lawyers in her family back east giving her a leg up in the profession.
When it came time to return to New York, Alex left her then boyfriend behind in California. Garret somewhat resembled Jay... the same built, the same clean-cut good looks, Olivia thought tangentially with no small amount of jealousy. And during that inebriated new years afternoon, Alex had shared with Olivia that all her friends thought she was crazy for leaving Jason and turning down the lucrative offers from California firms to return to the east coast for a thankless government job.
But crazy or not, nobody was going to tell Alexandra Cabot what to do with her life. She was smart, self-assured and assertively independent - traits that Olivia had always found attractive in a person. Traits that made Olivia realize that her being drawn to Alex was more than just a physical pull. And following the realization Olivia had slowly gone head over heels, sinking into the pitiful pit of unrequited feelings for the blonde.
But perhaps they aren't as unrequited as she had thought. Maybe something had changed since January first, and she hadn't been imagining that Alex was being physically closer and doing all those things in the last couple months to further fuel the already acute attraction Olivia felt.
If that were true, why the hell was she on a date with Mr. All-American? Clearly Alex was not thinking straight tonight, Olivia told herself as she continued to brood. Nor on new years day, she morosely added. Olivia could not even entertain the thought that Alex may be curious about a relationship with a woman. Curiosity coupled with uncertainties lead to bad endings. Olivia was not willing to risk losing their friendship over a casual intrigue that might prove fleeting.
No, Alex would have to make the first move regardless of whatever direction it took them. With time to put things into perspective she would most likely arrive at a conclusion that would crush Olivia's heart. At which point they would agree to approach this absurd series of events as two adults and to put it behind them for good. Then Olivia could return to falling from afar.
Olivia thoughts drifted back to tonight and, knowing that it was the first and last time she would ever be that close physically with Alex like that, she committed to memory every sensation she felt and every touch she made so that they could be added to her collection of Alex Tidbits. Her reverie was suddenly shattered when thoughts of Laney came to mind.
Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit.
The invective went through her mind like a mantra.
This was going to be a long fucking night.
* * *
Monday
For Alexandra Cabot this day had been tremendously long. She wanted nothing more than to go home and try to work out what she was going to do about Olivia. She even considered faking an illness to have the afternoon to herself. When Garret had shown up at her office she wished she had.
His extreme consideration when their evening had ended early, his concern over her weary appearance and his hopeful request for another meeting had left her conflicted. She was grateful for his recognition that her job was demanding. She liked that he noticed her unkempt appearance, though if she were being honest with herself everyone had noticed she wasn’t up to her usual standard of cool, calm Cabot today.
But she had no interest in going out with him again. Unfortunately the office gossip queen overheard Alex's polite refusal of a second date. It did not take long for the silent buzz to explode into building-wide chatter among the gossips and Alex spent part of the afternoon feeling several of the paralegals glaring holes into the back of her blouse. Alex filed a mental note to make Miss Flibbertigibbet pay by thrusting her onto a particularly ornery Donnelly when the opportunity arose. But the dirty looks were nothing compared to the veiled questions that she dodged. By two o'clock she concluded that lawyers asked too many damn questions.
By four o'clock she could no longer avoid the station house. The interview that Olivia had used as an excuse last night at the restaurant had come to fruition.
Alex entered the one-six, and for the first time in a long time hoped to not see Olivia. The detective's words had run continually through her head the night before. Alex conceded to herself that she was no closer than she had been in January in coming up with an explanation to the feelings that was drawing her to Olivia. Well, admitting they existed was a step closer she supposed as she scanned the squadroom.
Alex found Olivia sitting crossed legged on her desk, holding court, while the other three male detectives formed a semi circle in front of her on their chairs. She was reading from a file and spoke just as Alex approached. "You have got to be kidding me! Goats?"
Alex could think of nothing witty nor sarcastic about goats given a single moments notice, so she settled for the standard hello. Olivia did not look at her or even acknowledged her presence. The guys greeted their ADA as Olivia made a note in the file. She tossed it at Elliot and then finally turned to the blonde.
"Hey Alex."
"What are you working on?"
"Don't ask," Fin replied, picking up another file from a large stack on Olivia's desk. He glared, first at the writing in the file, then at Olivia who took it from him.
"Don't tell," Elliot finished. He held up the file Olivia had just handed him. "Did you give this guy a drug test?"
"That would be a violation of his civil rights. Besides he was the victim," Munch said pointedly.
"The goats are the victims. I say it's animal control's problem," Fin told them.
Elliot's brows knitted even closer in a frown as he scribbled something that looked completely illegible from where Alex stood. "How'd he end up here?"
"The desk sarge at the one-five thought it would be funny to send Mr. Shiban and his perverted goats to the SVU," Munch said.
"Perverted goats?" Alex had to make sure she heard right. One thing about being the ADA of this division - you never knew what was coming next.
"Mr. Juan Shiban is the owner of three pet goats. Completely permitted. One of the future mutton meals got loose in his Tribeca neighborhood. It was found in the questionable company of a large Siamese cat."
Alex waited for the punch line.
"Mr. Shiban wants the owner of the cat arrested. He claims that the woman enticed his innocent little angel into an unnatural relationship," Munch informed her.
"You can tell him that the DA's office refuses to press charges," Alex stated firmly as she envisioned the judge's face at arraignment.
"It would be a quick way for Petrovsky to have the state pay for your room and board for a couple days," Elliot teased.
"My thoughts exactly."
"I have at least five more comparable to that one," Olivia told them. She motioned to the new file she was reviewing. "Really Elliot, little green men molested her?"
"Impregnated," her partner corrected with a smirk.
Olivia read from the file, "Victim states she had four orgasms and wished that men really were from Mars."
"I'm not taking that one to trial either," Alex said with a slight bit of alarm.
"Martians have immunity now?" Munch asked.
"It's trash day." Fin enlightened their ADA and nodded at the other three boxes that sat on Olivia's desk.
An eyebrow crept up into an arch and Alex had to ask the expected, "Trash day?"
"Once a month we go over the open cases and toss the ones without a valid complaint."
"How far behind are you?" Alex peered at the mass of files but let her gaze surreptitiously fall on Olivia. She noticed that the detective looked about as high-strung as she was, the back of her head looking like she'd ran her hand through her hair many times today in frustration.
"This is just the last two weeks. It's been a freaky month," Fin declared with non nonplus.
Olivia handed Munch the files and asked in disbelief, "Where do these people come from?"
Munch looked down at some papers. "Connecticut," he replied.
Alex was about to say something in response but swallowed it.
"Good, you're here," Cragen said to the lawyer in greeting as he approached the group. "Let's get this show on the road. Fin, you get the honors, Haskell's waiting for you. Munch, go see Warner about the Osloinksi case. You two," - he pointed at Elliot and Olivia - "go home. Third watch is short and you're on call."
The two detectives exchanged a brief look. Alex wondered if they were silently communicating something or just sharing a look of disgust.
"Short again?" Elliot asked as Olivia stood up.
"We got four out tonight."
"How the hell did that happen?" Olivia grumbled. Cragen did not answer and offered his own silent glare before turning around and walking away. Olivia let the question slide into the rhetorical blackhole.
"What you got another hot date?" Elliot asked, eyeing his partner.
"No, it's the same hot date," Olivia shot back. Alex felt a pull in her chest but her expression never changed.
"A second date? Must be serious," Munch could not resist jumping in to give Olivia grief.
Olivia ignored him as she tossed a stack of files into an official filing box. After replacing the lid she wordlessly handed Alex a different report. While Alex read from the file Olivia surveyed the mess that was her desk, shaking her head.
"You caught Peter Jansen?" Alex asked. They had been searching for him for what seemed like months, though in reality it had only been just over a week.
"He's awaiting your special touch. We picked him up around two and his lawyer is pissed off that we didn’t file the charges today," Elliot warned.
"Omar?" Alex asked guessing at the lawyer's name. Seeing Elliot's look of surprise she shrugged. "I've been dodging his calls all day."
The detective grinned. "Still angry about the Weekly case?"
"Enough that he's not getting through to my office on the first try. I'll need your other reports by noon on Wednesday," Alex told them.
"An extra day? How magnanimous of you," Elliot told her.
"I'm feeling charitable, detective. It may never happen again. Besides, a bail jumper can always wait."
"Anything else?" Olivia asked abruptly as she locked her weapon in her drawer.
"Not right now," Alex answered a little uneasily, caught off-guard by Olivia's tone.
"Page me if you need me," Olivia said and the lawyer wondered if she was imagining the edge to the words. Olivia slipped on her coat and was out the door with a quick good bye.
Alex allowed herself to briefly speculate about Olivia's plans for the evening. Probably making it up to Laney, she thought half guiltily and half in jealousy.
"Hey Alex, do you know the name of the guy Liv is dating?" Elliot asked when he was sure Olivia was out of earshot.
"Man, let it go," Fin said from his desk. "Benson'll tell ya if she wanted you to know."
"C'mon. You've seen how Olivia's been acting. You're not curious?"
"Of course he is, but Mr. Booty Call is too suave to admit it." Munch smirked at his partner.
Fin shot him a reproachful look. "My booty calls are none of your business and neither are Benson's."
He headed off to the interrogation room, leaving behind his partner who was still smiling.
Alex almost flinched at the thought of Olivia's hands on Laney. She shook her head at the conversation and then gave Elliot a half smile.
"I plead the fifth, gentlemen." She picked up her attaché case and followed Fin to observe the questioning of their suspect.
"Cop out!" Elliot called after her retreating figure.
* * *
Tuesday
The tired detective closed her eyes briefly in a futile attempt at alleviating the stabbing pain behind her left eye. Olivia knew the only thing that was going to ease the migraine was sleep but since the brass frowned upon sleeping at one's desk she knew relief was not coming anytime soon.
The previous evening she had left her desk thinking about a nice date with Laney. A long, satisfying dinner, a movie or even a short walk through the park. Olivia knew she had to make up for breaking up their evening the previous night to go to Alex. She also wanted to spend some time with the older woman, whom she was undeniably attracted to, to clarify her feelings.
Unfortunately, Laney had a class to teach so instead of the dinner Olivia had envisioned they ended up with some pretty lackluster take-out from the Indian place by Laney's apartment. The fantasy she had nursed about going back to Laney's was replaced by a quick kiss as the harried professor raced off to catch her train.
After her class was over Laney had called Olivia to see if she wanted to come by for dessert. The invitation's double entendre had made Olivia smile. However, it wasn't two minutes after her second bite of the strawberry rhubarb pie when Olivia's cellphone took her from a promising late night date with Laney to the emergency room at St. Luke's.
It had taken all of Olivia's patience as she witnessed the rape kit being done, spoke to the overwrought mother and attempted to take Geary Janowski's statement.
Getting the traumatized teen to talk was next to impossible even in the observation room with its door shut from the highly trafficked emergency room. Olivia had gently teased bits and pieces of information out of the girl, speaking in soft tones and observing every movement Geary made even when she refused to answer the question posed. Out of the corner of her eyes, the detective had watched the mother pace in the background while Geary slowly began to withdraw into herself and rebuffed Olivia's attempt at getting anything else from her.
The ER nurse had pulled Olivia aside and informed her that the exam had revealed long term abuse. Olivia's gut feeling told her then that she had enough to bring the mother in for some quality time in the SVU's interrogation room.
Mrs. Janowski was no hardened criminal and Olivia had a confession long before the cleaning crew was done and day shift could come in. The fact that Geary needed an advocate added two hours to the whole process however. Instead of going home, Olivia sat at her desk to write her report.
Geary's mother not only knew what her husband was doing but she had facilitated his actions. Olivia seethed inwardly as she detailed how Terry Janowski had admitted to holding her daughter down while her husband raped the girl. She actually started to cry on her way to the holding cell and plaintively asked if her husband had to go to jail. Olivia's insides roiled when she realized Terry was crying not out of guilt but for having implicated her husband.
After turning her work into Cragen's inbox she left and was at Laney's door with breakfast and coffee. As she stood there she wasn't even sure why she was trying so hard with Laney. She viciously punted that thought away, not caring where it landed and distracted herself by making conversation with her sleepy-eyed but grateful girlfriend who had classes again this morning.
Afterward, Olivia found her way back to her desk where she dove into the task of completing more paperwork. She decided to call it a morning when her brain was unable to form coherent thoughts when she wasn't staring at the freak files. She got up to kick Elliot out of the crib and as they were making their way downstairs Cragen stuck a head and shoulder out from his office door.
"If any of you need something from the DA's office today you need to call…" Cragen tipped his head back and glared at the scrap of paper in his hand. "Someone in Cabot's office named Harvester."
Olivia felt her gut clench with a slight panic. Where the hell was Alex? She wondered. All of a sudden the extra day on the Jansen reports suddenly made more sense and Olivia went from panicked nausea to anger.
"Nice. We work through the night and Cabot takes a damn day off," Elliot grumbled, echoing her own thoughts.
"Shoulda went to law school," Fin told him and tossed another case file onto the worn out detective's lap.
Olivia stood standing and glowered at the pile of files on her desk with an intensity that matched the level of pounding her head was feeling. To top it all off, her brain had started lobbing back those thoughts she had been trying to put away all morning long. She muttered to Elliot about needing an hour and made her way back to the crib. Sleep came quickly but so did the dreams, flashes of images that she would not remember when she woke up but kept her tossing and turning on the uncomfortable mattress.
As usual, Elliot came to wake her when they caught a fresh case. This time, he even brought real coffee along with him. Olivia was grateful that her partner knew her so well. The headache remained as they made their way to the crime scene but Olivia went about her job without complaint. Some days, it's all just garbage.