loveless day
I want to personally murder LC's person. I despise what she had to do the other night. And to hear her talk about it, I know that she is holding back more about what really happened.
Last night AS called me. I was already asleep, but with so many people having so many things swirling around them right now, I crawled out of bed to see who it was. She didn't leave a message. If it had been an emergency, she would have left a message right? I went back to bed.
30 minutes later the phone rings again. This time it was SW but I didn't get out of bed. I couldn't even move. I was so exhausted and knew that if I got up, I wouldn't be going back to bed. I didn't know it was her. Had I known, I would have answered. I should have answered. When I listened to the message this morning, she spoke in two word intervals, trying to breathe in between. She couldn't breathe. She was gulping for air. While I was fighting to stay asleep, she was fighting for air to breathe.
Another loveless day is upon me and I wonder how the world keeps spinning. I wish it were true that love made the world go 'round, but I know it cannot be with so many good hearts around me watching their lives fall apart from the lack of love.
My parents are going to court today - or at least my dad and their lawyers are. Let the divorce proceedings begin. Let love lose again.
I like that last line. I know it's not 100% accurate in their case, but in these other relationships, damn. Can someone just give a damn for once, please? You hurt the ones you love? Yeah right. You hurt the people closest to you because they are the ones who are willing to put up with your shit while you shit on them. You hurt people because you're selfish and don't give a damn, could careless, are heartless to others and only see what you want to see... because if the other is true - if you hurt the ones you love, then I hope no one ever loves me. I feel enough hurt by living the life of empathy. I certainly don't need anyone to love me like that.
Last night AS called me. I was already asleep, but with so many people having so many things swirling around them right now, I crawled out of bed to see who it was. She didn't leave a message. If it had been an emergency, she would have left a message right? I went back to bed.
30 minutes later the phone rings again. This time it was SW but I didn't get out of bed. I couldn't even move. I was so exhausted and knew that if I got up, I wouldn't be going back to bed. I didn't know it was her. Had I known, I would have answered. I should have answered. When I listened to the message this morning, she spoke in two word intervals, trying to breathe in between. She couldn't breathe. She was gulping for air. While I was fighting to stay asleep, she was fighting for air to breathe.
Another loveless day is upon me and I wonder how the world keeps spinning. I wish it were true that love made the world go 'round, but I know it cannot be with so many good hearts around me watching their lives fall apart from the lack of love.
My parents are going to court today - or at least my dad and their lawyers are. Let the divorce proceedings begin. Let love lose again.
I like that last line. I know it's not 100% accurate in their case, but in these other relationships, damn. Can someone just give a damn for once, please? You hurt the ones you love? Yeah right. You hurt the people closest to you because they are the ones who are willing to put up with your shit while you shit on them. You hurt people because you're selfish and don't give a damn, could careless, are heartless to others and only see what you want to see... because if the other is true - if you hurt the ones you love, then I hope no one ever loves me. I feel enough hurt by living the life of empathy. I certainly don't need anyone to love me like that.