(no subject)
*sigh*
I'm getting sick of this place. It's such a mess, the only one who does ANY cleaning is Brian's mom. If a cat pukes or pisses on the floor they just leave it for her to clean up later. Mom has to do EVERYTHING even when she had just gotten surgery and could barely walk.
The internet connection out here STINKS even tho it's greece so it really shouldn't be all that bad. I don't know, maybe it's cos there 8 million computers all trying to use the same connection. Maybe it's because Brian's too freakin lazy to really do anything about it.
I love the kid, really, but I'm starting to wonder. All he does is sleep. Then goes to work, comes home, and whines about something work-related.. He refuses to look for another job even though he is WELL AWARE that he's now 21 years old, and still lives with his parents. He doesn't want to leave here until prettymuch they force him out. It's so annoying. I'd love to get an apartment and be able to play by my own rules, I hate being tied down.
And now he wants to go to England for our 1-year.. I've always wanted to go there, you know. But there's just one small problem: WE'RE BOTH POOR AS HELL. I tried to talk this over and he's so hard-set on going there's no way I can beat it into his head that we need to make priorities, and a trip to England should be far from #1.
I don't know.. I just .. I can't take it anymore. He's like my best friend ever, and I don't want to hurt him but I can't deal with this. I can't be happy living with someone's parents, in a house that has shit strewn around and people who refuse to clean it.. He makes no plans for his future, he thinks he can just ride on his parents backs the rest of his life.
But mostly, like his mom brought up a few months back, I can't take care of him. He has problems that I hardly understand.. Sometimes he has to go to the hospital for blood transfusion, and I don't know what to do/say about that... I can't take care of him when these things happen. My sister was always good at this kind of thing, but not me.
I don't know what to do... my family loves him, I love him, but I don't feel it anymore. He's my friend, he always has been.. I just don't think I can see him as any more than that.. But I can't just leave. I depend on him, whether I want to admit it or not. He gives me food, a place to sleep, internet.. I feel like I'm using him.. I don't want that.
I need help :(
I'm getting sick of this place. It's such a mess, the only one who does ANY cleaning is Brian's mom. If a cat pukes or pisses on the floor they just leave it for her to clean up later. Mom has to do EVERYTHING even when she had just gotten surgery and could barely walk.
The internet connection out here STINKS even tho it's greece so it really shouldn't be all that bad. I don't know, maybe it's cos there 8 million computers all trying to use the same connection. Maybe it's because Brian's too freakin lazy to really do anything about it.
I love the kid, really, but I'm starting to wonder. All he does is sleep. Then goes to work, comes home, and whines about something work-related.. He refuses to look for another job even though he is WELL AWARE that he's now 21 years old, and still lives with his parents. He doesn't want to leave here until prettymuch they force him out. It's so annoying. I'd love to get an apartment and be able to play by my own rules, I hate being tied down.
And now he wants to go to England for our 1-year.. I've always wanted to go there, you know. But there's just one small problem: WE'RE BOTH POOR AS HELL. I tried to talk this over and he's so hard-set on going there's no way I can beat it into his head that we need to make priorities, and a trip to England should be far from #1.
I don't know.. I just .. I can't take it anymore. He's like my best friend ever, and I don't want to hurt him but I can't deal with this. I can't be happy living with someone's parents, in a house that has shit strewn around and people who refuse to clean it.. He makes no plans for his future, he thinks he can just ride on his parents backs the rest of his life.
But mostly, like his mom brought up a few months back, I can't take care of him. He has problems that I hardly understand.. Sometimes he has to go to the hospital for blood transfusion, and I don't know what to do/say about that... I can't take care of him when these things happen. My sister was always good at this kind of thing, but not me.
I don't know what to do... my family loves him, I love him, but I don't feel it anymore. He's my friend, he always has been.. I just don't think I can see him as any more than that.. But I can't just leave. I depend on him, whether I want to admit it or not. He gives me food, a place to sleep, internet.. I feel like I'm using him.. I don't want that.
I need help :(