New Year's Happenin's
So Christmas was ok. I finally told my step-father. He proceeded to FREAK THE FUCK OUT as soon as I left the house. So after a few days of him and my mother fighting, I decided it would be best for me to leave.
I moved my things back to my father's and told him. He accepted it pretty well, though is still hesitant. He wants me to go to counseling for it, as well as 'rage' 'stubbornness' 'pride' and 'holding grudges'. Since I rarely see him he doesn't know that MOST of those things about me have gone the way of the dinosaur since I started my changin'.
But oh well. I moved back into his house and started to actively switch over every day. It was insanely surprising when he walked in the first day, I'm ALL done up as a girl. He talks to me about where he parked, about the tenant in the other building of the house, and then leaves. My jaw went through the floor. SADLY, my sister is a total fucking bitch and we got into two absolutely hilarious arguments within a week. Then I found out my step-father had calmed down about it and was able to move back.
On New Year's Eve.... I had been out at work as the 'real' me the day before. Apparently someone figured out and complained. So I got a call from my boss saying someone complained I wasn't professional looking and I'd be late to calls. One more fuck up and I'm fired. Once I got off the phone I spent the rest of the night crying, off and on. I talked to a few people, and ended up canceling a shopping trip on the first. I was so depressed. I felt stupid that I had EVER thought I could be happy. I even quit my guild on WoW, for unrelated reasons.
Over the next few days I reverted to the old me, and things kinda went as usual. Live balanced out and all was ok. The other day I shattered the back glass in my Jeep. It fell on me like usual cause the strongarms are weak. I pushed it up like I ALWAYS do, except this time I missed and shattered the glass. I almost cried! I had had a terrible day that day. But good came of it. I had to get the glass fixed. I called a place who said the glass would be in that afternoon. Well that afternoon when I went down there it wasn't in yet. So I ended up sitting and talking to the two guys who worked there for about 40 minutes. Now...I went in as normal me. I wore no make up and normal clothes. (Ok they're women's pants but that's normal for me now.) Anywho, I had my hair down and wasn't really caring. But as soon as the one guy pointed to me and said 'her' when talking to his coworker, I IMMEDIATELY switched voices and kept it. The next day I went back to get the glass and was there for two hours. They NEVER figured it out. Even at one point, when they were asking who recommended them (my step-father) they asked about my husband. I was fearful when they asked my name but I was like "STEF" instead of my full name, and they bought it. I left feeling euphoric.
Today I hope to go shopping with Pauline, as I need more clothes... And I need to get out and have some fun before I GO FUCKING STIR CRAZY!
I moved my things back to my father's and told him. He accepted it pretty well, though is still hesitant. He wants me to go to counseling for it, as well as 'rage' 'stubbornness' 'pride' and 'holding grudges'. Since I rarely see him he doesn't know that MOST of those things about me have gone the way of the dinosaur since I started my changin'.
But oh well. I moved back into his house and started to actively switch over every day. It was insanely surprising when he walked in the first day, I'm ALL done up as a girl. He talks to me about where he parked, about the tenant in the other building of the house, and then leaves. My jaw went through the floor. SADLY, my sister is a total fucking bitch and we got into two absolutely hilarious arguments within a week. Then I found out my step-father had calmed down about it and was able to move back.
On New Year's Eve.... I had been out at work as the 'real' me the day before. Apparently someone figured out and complained. So I got a call from my boss saying someone complained I wasn't professional looking and I'd be late to calls. One more fuck up and I'm fired. Once I got off the phone I spent the rest of the night crying, off and on. I talked to a few people, and ended up canceling a shopping trip on the first. I was so depressed. I felt stupid that I had EVER thought I could be happy. I even quit my guild on WoW, for unrelated reasons.
Over the next few days I reverted to the old me, and things kinda went as usual. Live balanced out and all was ok. The other day I shattered the back glass in my Jeep. It fell on me like usual cause the strongarms are weak. I pushed it up like I ALWAYS do, except this time I missed and shattered the glass. I almost cried! I had had a terrible day that day. But good came of it. I had to get the glass fixed. I called a place who said the glass would be in that afternoon. Well that afternoon when I went down there it wasn't in yet. So I ended up sitting and talking to the two guys who worked there for about 40 minutes. Now...I went in as normal me. I wore no make up and normal clothes. (Ok they're women's pants but that's normal for me now.) Anywho, I had my hair down and wasn't really caring. But as soon as the one guy pointed to me and said 'her' when talking to his coworker, I IMMEDIATELY switched voices and kept it. The next day I went back to get the glass and was there for two hours. They NEVER figured it out. Even at one point, when they were asking who recommended them (my step-father) they asked about my husband. I was fearful when they asked my name but I was like "STEF" instead of my full name, and they bought it. I left feeling euphoric.
Today I hope to go shopping with Pauline, as I need more clothes... And I need to get out and have some fun before I GO FUCKING STIR CRAZY!