Few things are more frustrating than...
desperately wanting to write and lacking the time for it.
What's even more frustrating is to realise how much I suck as a writer. Not that that is a *new* realisation... But how am I supposed to improve if I never find the time to write? Skill comes with practice, and I don't get enough practice.
Then there's the issue of how good could I actually get, as well. Do I have any talent at all, is there anything worth developing, or am I more or less a hopeless case? Most of my stuff isn't exactly crap, but even the stories I sort of like fall short of what I intended. It's kind of hard to lay a finger on the problem in those cases, though; even harder to try and 'do better next time'.
Frell, I need help. Writing help, that is. I think I'm actually aware of some/most of my problems (lack of flow; lack of plot; cliché; failure to capture characters' voices etc.), but it would still help to be able to discuss them with someone, I think. I need a really good beta. But how could I subject anybody to my odd writing rhythm, the month-long droughts or periods where I simply don't have the time, etc.?
Ah, frell.
Edited to add: This is not meant as a knock against my current betas, Verin and Caz. It's just that Verin is apparently very busy in RL, and anyway is not active in my most important writing fandom, Farscape, and Caz isn't my regular beta but simply offered to give my two latest unbeta'd HL stories a quick beta. What I need, though, is someone to discuss my stuff with in detail, and possibly while I'm still writing.
Then again, that may not help, either. I don't know.
What's even more frustrating is to realise how much I suck as a writer. Not that that is a *new* realisation... But how am I supposed to improve if I never find the time to write? Skill comes with practice, and I don't get enough practice.
Then there's the issue of how good could I actually get, as well. Do I have any talent at all, is there anything worth developing, or am I more or less a hopeless case? Most of my stuff isn't exactly crap, but even the stories I sort of like fall short of what I intended. It's kind of hard to lay a finger on the problem in those cases, though; even harder to try and 'do better next time'.
Frell, I need help. Writing help, that is. I think I'm actually aware of some/most of my problems (lack of flow; lack of plot; cliché; failure to capture characters' voices etc.), but it would still help to be able to discuss them with someone, I think. I need a really good beta. But how could I subject anybody to my odd writing rhythm, the month-long droughts or periods where I simply don't have the time, etc.?
Ah, frell.
Edited to add: This is not meant as a knock against my current betas, Verin and Caz. It's just that Verin is apparently very busy in RL, and anyway is not active in my most important writing fandom, Farscape, and Caz isn't my regular beta but simply offered to give my two latest unbeta'd HL stories a quick beta. What I need, though, is someone to discuss my stuff with in detail, and possibly while I'm still writing.
Then again, that may not help, either. I don't know.