One of the more bizarre side-effects of believing in the possibility of the collapse of civilisation
I've stopped caring much about writing something that might survive me. And I've increased my efforts to actually finish more fanfic. Rationally, I know that it's unlikely that, even *if* we should see the collapse of civilisation - which hopefully is still far from a done deal! - it would happen in the next few years. Still, there's a strange sense of urgency to my life now, which, ridiculously, even affects something as inconsequential as fic.
I suppose it would be more useful if I focused all my energy on preventing catastrophe, but on the other hand, it's probably important to do some things just because you enjoy them. Living entirely for a cause is a good way to get burnt out quickly, right?
Unfortunately, btw, my new outlook on life has also robbed me of any desire I might have had to concentrate on achieving professional success. I never had much ambition in that area to begin with, and what little I had has now vaporised completely. I just can't make myself care. There are so many more important things - more important either because they affect the world in a more significant way (i.e.: activism, which I really do hope to start 'practising' this year, instead of just talking about), or because they are more immediately enjoyable (i.e.: writing fic, and other fannish activities; and art, jewellery making etc.)
I suppose it would be more useful if I focused all my energy on preventing catastrophe, but on the other hand, it's probably important to do some things just because you enjoy them. Living entirely for a cause is a good way to get burnt out quickly, right?
Unfortunately, btw, my new outlook on life has also robbed me of any desire I might have had to concentrate on achieving professional success. I never had much ambition in that area to begin with, and what little I had has now vaporised completely. I just can't make myself care. There are so many more important things - more important either because they affect the world in a more significant way (i.e.: activism, which I really do hope to start 'practising' this year, instead of just talking about), or because they are more immediately enjoyable (i.e.: writing fic, and other fannish activities; and art, jewellery making etc.)