Keeping some kind of record of my emotional state after my second big fandom catastrophe...
Still pissed at LOM. Fighting hard to keep at least some of my love for the show alive by furiously writing fix-it fic. Which, amazingly, is going very well - it's like my frustration's a speed booster for my writing. I suppose a need to 'fix' something always has been one of the strongest motivations for writing fanfic. (I'm writing a very bitter Maya right now; seems all my bitterness has ended up in her. Which kind of makes sense, because she's always been the character through whom I channel my emotions for Sam, only earlier, it used to be all kinds of tenderness.)
Maybe I'm going to end up writing *all* the alternative non-stupid endings I can think of... *g* LOM still makes marvellous fic material, and I can probably learn to love my own versions of it. I've moved permanently to alternate realities in other fandoms... (Heh... all I need to do is jump from the canon building, and I'll be in my preferred version of fanon... forever...) It's just such a shame I can't love the original, at the moment. Nor any fic which affirms the ending, which basically makes 99% of all fic written post 2.08 unreadable for me.
I'm waiting eagerly for more fic from the disappointed minority. *g*
Going to the ep 8 thread at the RA still pisses me off, although I know it's unfair and stupid and arrogant of me to get angry at people for enjoying the ending. And since I'm wise enouogh to know that it's unfair, stupid and arrogant of me, I'm trying to keep my interaction with the RA to a minimum, for the time being. (Can't *quite* keep away from it; the obsession's still alive, even if the love isn't.)
Probably that's also good for my fanfic, as I now channel nearly all of my remaining obsession into that.
Sadly, I'm actually dreading rewatching *any* of the episodes now, because so much that I thought poignant before I knew the ending is now so meaningless and cheap. Also, I miss my burning Sam Tyler love.
**
For anyone new here who may not know what my first big fandom catastrophe was: the cancellation of Farscape in 2002. That hurt like hell; but at least that show didn't essentially kill itself.
Maybe I'm going to end up writing *all* the alternative non-stupid endings I can think of... *g* LOM still makes marvellous fic material, and I can probably learn to love my own versions of it. I've moved permanently to alternate realities in other fandoms... (Heh... all I need to do is jump from the canon building, and I'll be in my preferred version of fanon... forever...) It's just such a shame I can't love the original, at the moment. Nor any fic which affirms the ending, which basically makes 99% of all fic written post 2.08 unreadable for me.
I'm waiting eagerly for more fic from the disappointed minority. *g*
Going to the ep 8 thread at the RA still pisses me off, although I know it's unfair and stupid and arrogant of me to get angry at people for enjoying the ending. And since I'm wise enouogh to know that it's unfair, stupid and arrogant of me, I'm trying to keep my interaction with the RA to a minimum, for the time being. (Can't *quite* keep away from it; the obsession's still alive, even if the love isn't.)
Probably that's also good for my fanfic, as I now channel nearly all of my remaining obsession into that.
Sadly, I'm actually dreading rewatching *any* of the episodes now, because so much that I thought poignant before I knew the ending is now so meaningless and cheap. Also, I miss my burning Sam Tyler love.
**
For anyone new here who may not know what my first big fandom catastrophe was: the cancellation of Farscape in 2002. That hurt like hell; but at least that show didn't essentially kill itself.