Two husbands
Two husbands meant having two mothers in law. And last week sunday the second one died, only a few months afther the first.
Kees' mother. The one who was my MIL for 34 years. It was no easy relationship, but there were times we did reach eachother.
The last time I spoke with her was on the phone, the wednesday before she died. And I'm glad we had that conversation, because when we got to the hospital sunday morning, she was seduced by painkillers so much that she could no longer react much to what we said. We had a little service and in the afternoon she died quitly and at peace with the world.
Kees, his brother and I where there, HMM was here at home with Charlie, the dog. Monday Kees and I wrote envelopes for the cards, did lots of other small things and then he went home. I stayed in Zeeland. He had to go to the hospital for a pain treatment on tuesday. HMM went with him, and wednesday they came over to Zeeland again, with Charlie. We had a few good days, and its wonderful to see how much Kees looks like his father and to see where loads of his idosyncrasies stem from.
The mourning ceremony on friday was good. I did it myself, wrote the memories and used poems and texts a good friend of mine wrote, inspired by a Course in Miracles.
BIL (who is handicapped) stays in Zeeland for a few weeks. Dad is okay, he can finally go on with his life after living in some vacuum for more than a year.
HMM is the outsider here. But he fits in great. BIL and he get along very well. And I guess it's not very strange: he looks a lot like my father in law, and he looks a lot like Kees as well... people tend to go for the same type of partner, I guess I did (although I did not search for that).
(also posted in alt.poly)
Kees' mother. The one who was my MIL for 34 years. It was no easy relationship, but there were times we did reach eachother.
The last time I spoke with her was on the phone, the wednesday before she died. And I'm glad we had that conversation, because when we got to the hospital sunday morning, she was seduced by painkillers so much that she could no longer react much to what we said. We had a little service and in the afternoon she died quitly and at peace with the world.
Kees, his brother and I where there, HMM was here at home with Charlie, the dog. Monday Kees and I wrote envelopes for the cards, did lots of other small things and then he went home. I stayed in Zeeland. He had to go to the hospital for a pain treatment on tuesday. HMM went with him, and wednesday they came over to Zeeland again, with Charlie. We had a few good days, and its wonderful to see how much Kees looks like his father and to see where loads of his idosyncrasies stem from.
The mourning ceremony on friday was good. I did it myself, wrote the memories and used poems and texts a good friend of mine wrote, inspired by a Course in Miracles.
BIL (who is handicapped) stays in Zeeland for a few weeks. Dad is okay, he can finally go on with his life after living in some vacuum for more than a year.
HMM is the outsider here. But he fits in great. BIL and he get along very well. And I guess it's not very strange: he looks a lot like my father in law, and he looks a lot like Kees as well... people tend to go for the same type of partner, I guess I did (although I did not search for that).
(also posted in alt.poly)