(no subject)
So it's back to...the mixed messages and mind games. which you know..whatever. i can't help i'm in love with him. yeah, i wish i wasn't. yeah i hate him. but it's just..i dunno. he's invited to this party that was going to be amazing and ditched the party to come to the party i was at. he askes me to leave the party and go to my house with him. maybe i'm over analizing things. but i know he would have been in my bed if i did come home right away. but instead i stayed and party hopper until i puked. but hey at least i don't have racing thoughts about how we are using each other and how i'm in love with someone who will never commit. yeah, his parents did fuck him up or whatever when they got a divorce. but it's not an excuse anymore. i try so hard to just say fuck it. but he always somehow comes back in the picture. i wish i could just say things to him that i need to. i wish he would just be with me..but yeah things are complicated as fuck.